Celas has a Warehouse Ticket

[Lord Gadigan]

Courtesy of Kit

[Celas]

Celas has, in fact, one ticket courtesy of Kit, and two birthday tickets!

1/3: Doris the Mechanical Detective's Story Hour

[Lord Gadigan]

Not doing so hot out there, eh, bub?

Part of it's no fault of your own. Cockamamie cosmic calamity crashed into your crazy-cool catamaran before it even left port - the whole new age of Truth and Heavens and whatnot got returned to sender and replaced with one sad-sack of a glitchfest.

And that sucks. I LIKED Truth. Really, kudos to you for making that.

No time to mourn, though, 'cause this runaway train's still sliding downhill.

Let me tell you about a farmer.

Solid guy, this farmer. Started with a farm. Built it into a big one over time. Lots of elbow grease involved, but he put in the work.

Worked with chickens. Lots of people didn't like chickens, no siree, but this farmer knew they had potential. Stuck with 'em even if beef was the hot item on the menu.

'But chickens are terrible! They eat people's eyes out!' cried the morons from town.

The farmer kept on trucking, eggs were on the menu, and some of his hens had started a barbershop quartet. Things were lookin' on the up!

Well, this farmer had a favorite chicken. Gave it all sorts of chicken feed, roomy nest, classical music to make the eggs come out just right.

And it was quite the chicken. Stood a good cluck or two above the rest.

Problem is, this chicken was a bad egg. Took the other birds when the farmer went to sleep, partied with the pigs from down the road. Got into the kitchen one day, snuck a knife out with its beak, took it off and stabbed the pig farmer down the road. Made a clean break for it.

Wasn't the farmer's fault the chicken went so far south, but he really should have been keeping a better eye on her if he was wantin' chickens to be seen as a source of respectable farm products rather than a menace to society.

Because that chicken? She sure was a menace.

Your chicken's a zombie, the pig farm is long departed, and now she's got head of the egg board pressed against the wall with her knife. With the knife in this case being a cup full of sick, but moreso.

Grab the train and DRAG it back to those tracks if you have to. Realize that hen ain't going to give you any more eggs, and get your best jerk recipe together.

Maybe stop her from getting drunk on power unless you want things to be harder on yourself.

Well. That's my advice to you personally, Mr. Heaven-Architect.

If I were advising some collective conglomeration of you and your regular allies (and didn't care as much about Truth getting kicked to the gutter so fast), I might instead suggest that you go take a brochure and a map, find the aftermath of a major disaster, and start feedin' on it like some big ol' parasite.

Just, you know, use protection when you do it. Don't want glitchworms in the brain.

That's a whole lot of advice and not much item, so here you go:

Chicken-Killing Knife?- (Weapon, Knife, Destruction & Truth, X Gold) +10 Melee Attack, Wielder may, once per thread, make an attack an automatic hit or critical against a BA Member that is an Aerial or Undead

[Celas]

On another track entirely, I'll cash in for my other characters here without making extra, extra threads (aside from Jon's. Dunno why I didn't do that here.)

Birthday Ticket 1 of 2: El, Nonbase Arsenal. The big guy could use some attention.

[Lord Gadigan]

El gets:

Radioactive Ship-Launcher (With Offensive-Merge Setting)- (Weapon, Siege Engine, Atomic, 60,000,000 Gold) +60,000 Ranged Attack, 100% inflicts Poison: Irradiated, 100% inflicts Fatigued: Stun, 2 hits against 60,000, Wielder's 'Ranged Attack' and 'Ranged Overdrive' actions deal double Damage to Vessels below Level 80 as an effect that does not stack with other damage-multiplying effects that come from weapons, Wielder's 'Ranged Attack' and 'Ranged Overdrive' actions give Vessels below Level 80 a non-stacking debuff that makes their element solely Atomic

[Celas]

El for Cosmic To-Do List

[Lord Gadigan]

May I please have a format example from that category? I remember the gist, but if you have an example available, that'd process faster than my digging for it.

[Aeromage]

Example, off Tolva:

The Cosmic To-Do List-

If Tolva:

1) Kills a unique summoner of at least Level 50 and uses its blood as a component to a unique Ritual Magic spell or to enhance the casting of a Persistent Enchantment
2) Banishes 100,000 Celestials, Angels, or Devas from material planes
3) Petrifies or otherwise permanently imprisons a unique Celestial, Angel, or Deva of Level 50 or greater

Then Tolva gets:

'Acquired Bazzelrian's Black Snare'
*Bazzelrian's Black Snare- (Weapon, Orb, Earth & Air & Fire & Water & Fury, 480,000,000 Gold) Whenever an entity below Level 80 would summon a Celestial, Angel, or Deva below Level 80, wielder may prevent said summoning and regenerate 480,000 HP and MP, Wielder must be Level 40 or greater and must possess the ability 'Adept Ritual Magic Attunement', the ability 'Adept Magewright Proficiency', the ability 'Adept Soul Wielding', the ability 'Adept Spatial Synchronization', or the award 'Acquired Bazzelrian's Black Snare''

[Lord Gadigan]

The Cosmic To-Do List-

If El:

1) Kills three unique individuals of at least Level 60 and builds massive or opulent memorials to each of them
2) Kills and stuffs a rare, but not-particularly-sentient creature of at least Level 40 whose mounted corpse is positively commented upon without prompting by a unique trophy hunter of Level 60 or greater
3) Carves a metropolis out of a rare type of stone

Then El gets:

'Acquired The Stately Graves'
*The Stately Graves- (Accessory, Magic Item, Earth & Darkness & Glory & Grandeur, 400,000,000 Gold) Wielder gains (the number of opposing, non-summon entities of the same specific entry on the enemy list killed by wielder in the same thread)% Resistance to specific, individual, non-unique entities that are normally fightable for drops on the enemy list, Wielder gains 15% Resistance to unique individuals that wielder has previously killed in the same thread

[Celas]

Updated, Moved, Locked.