Grabbyfest VIII

[The Nottest of Daves]

This Event was originally held during [UNIVERSAL EXISTENCE FAILURE] on January 1, 2020

[21:21] Gadigan: Grabbyfest rules in advance
[21:22] Gadigan: I'm going to be running it in chat this year
[21:22] Gadigan: To grab, you post in chat that you grab, and you include what character you grab with in the post
[21:22] Gadigan: No editing or deleting the posts later
[21:22] Gadigan: No grabbing with characters that aren't your PCs
[21:22] Gadigan: Grabbing grabs everything after the last grab that is a grabbyfest item
[21:23] Gadigan: Things that aren't grabbyfest items aren't grabbed
[21:23] Gadigan: Am I missing anything of note here?
[21:23] The Nottest of Daves: That's all the weird corner-cases that I remember
[22:08] Gadigan: Wharf District- (Item, Antiquity, Water, 15,000,000 Gold)
[22:08] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[22:09] Gadigan: A Concerning Notice that Indicates that Items are Being Made without Proper References and May Possess Off-Kilter Gold Values or Unusual Text- (Item, Antiquity, Hax, 999,999,999.999 Gold)
[22:09] Caelzeph: Doctorgrab
[22:09] The Nottest of Daves: Lurkygrab
[22:10] Gadigan: A Large, Golden Drill- (Weapon, Tool, Earth & Wealth & Technology, 500,000 Gold) +500 Melee Attack, +500 STR, Wielder deals 5% more Gold Damage (to a max of 5,000,000 more)
[22:10] The Nottest of Daves: Celestine
[22:11] Gadigan: Dave's Brother's Dog's Lips- (Item, Antiquity, Darkness & Fire, 5,000 Gold)
[22:11] Gadigan: 33 Gold
[22:11] Gadigan: 15 Darkness Mana Oil
[22:11] Gadigan: 1 Formus Crystal
[22:11] Caelzeph: Doctorgrab
[22:11] Caelzeph: (Formus!)
[22:12] Gadigan: A Bag of Venom- (Weapon, Deadly Item, Toxin, 6,000,000 Gold) +6,000 Ranged Attack, 200% inflicts Poison, 5% inflicts Venom, 100% inflicts Confusion on wielder at the start of each round
[22:12] The Nottest of Daves: Enrica
[22:13] Gadigan: Recording of Rage- (Item, Antiquity, Technology & Fury, 6,800,000 Gold)
[22:13] Caelzeph: Tolva!
[22:13] Gadigan: A Fake Goose- (Item, Antiquity, Dopple, 150,000 Gold)
[22:15] Gadigan: Harassed by Seagulls- (Passive Ability, Curse) If possessor is in a Zone of Water, does not Resist Aerials, is not Immune to Aerials, does not Absorb Aerials, and does not Reflect Aerials, possessor has a random Consumable unequipped at the start of each round, with said consumables being destroyed if they are nonunique Food worth under 5,000,000 Gold
[22:15] Gadigan: An Eagle that Shoots More Eagles- (Weapon, Deadly Item, Air & Patriotism, 8,000,000 Gold) +8,000 Ranged Attack, Wielder's allies gain +8,000 to all stats as a non-stacking bonus, Wielder's allies each count as having 80 more Aerials as allies for each ally they would count when not counting this item that is an Aerial
[22:16] The Nottest of Daves: Enrica
[22:18] Gadigan: Knows a Samurai Who Hates Pants- (Passive Ability, Friendship) Possessor may, at the start of a round, up to once per thread, select an Armor equipped by an entity in the same battlespace whose name includes 'Pants' or 'Trousers'; said item is, at the start of the round three rounds after the current round, destroyed by an effect that counts as involving a Human named 'That Samurai Who Hates Pants' casting a Sword Arts spell, provided it is not unique and is not worth over 60,000,000 Gold
[22:18] Draconics: RM Grab!
[22:19] Gadigan: A Tiiiiiiiiny Model Replica of the Battle Arena- (Item, Antiquity, Universe, 1/80,000,000 Gold)
[22:19] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[22:20] Caelzeph: (VERY LITTLE GOLD)
[22:21] Gadigan: Imaginary Muscles- (Accessory, Bioaugmentation, Psychic, 500,000 Gold) If Muscles is set to Real, possessor gains +500 STR, (Insert Imaginary Element Text Here)
[22:21] Caelzeph: Doctor!
[22:22] Gadigan: Five Votes in the Next Mayoral Election- (Item, Currency, Air, 500 Gold)
[22:22] Gadigan: 5 Mayor's Suit- (Armor, Clothes, Air, 500,000 Gold) +500 Defense, +500 MIN, +5 Diplomacy (Does not stack)
[22:23] Gadigan: 5 Lawsuit Against the Mayor- (Item, Antiquity, Law & Fire, 5,000,000 Gold)
[22:24] Gadigan: 'The Mayor's Favorite Five' (An Abstract Statue)- (Item, Antiquity, Earth & Chaos & Color, 15,000,000 Gold)
[22:24] Draconics: RM Grab!
[22:25] Gadigan: + or - 5 Fame, with the + being if more Grabbyfest items this Grabbyfest have a 'B' in their name than a 'D' (capitalization irrelevant)
[22:26] The Nottest of Daves: Enrica
[22:27] Gadigan: Secret Anti-Knees- (Accessory, Bioaugmentation, Mystery, 50,000,000 Gold) If wielder would acquire a debuff that would reduce possessor's turn-order-determining stat total, possessor may, up to once per thread, negate said debuff
[22:27] Caelzeph: Doctor
[22:28] Gadigan: A Raft Full of Vipers- (Accessory, Container, Toxin & Water, 2,500,000 Gold) Wielder gains Drowning Immunity and may summon 5 Reptiles below Level 20 at the start of each round
[22:28] The Nottest of Daves: Enrica
[22:29] Gadigan: Livestream Feed of Men Going to Find Alcohol- (Item, Antiquity, Technology & Water, 17,000 Gold)
[22:46] Draconics: Nira Grab!
[22:46] Armocida: Oh grabby fest is going on?
[22:47] The Nottest of Daves: indeed
[22:47] The Nottest of Daves: Gad seems to have gotten lost finding alcohol though
[22:47] Armocida: Oh no lmO
[22:47] Caelzeph: It's the chex mix
[22:47] Armocida: Lmao*
[22:47] Caelzeph: It has to be
[22:52] Gadigan: The Saga of the Five Seals Placed Upon the Port Bottle by the Aghartan Abjurers- (Item, Antiquity, Earth & Mystic & Warding, 5,000,000 Gold)
[22:52] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[22:53] Gadigan: Bob's Favorite Recipes for Broiling His Grandmother's Liver- (Item, Antiquity, Concern, 5,000 Gold)
[22:53] Armocida: Rukathal grab
[22:55] Gadigan: Bill's Parakeet: The Fanciest Jetfighter in the East- (Accessory, Legionairre, Technolgoy & Air & War & Sonic, 50,000,000 Gold) +50,000 Ranged Attack, All Aerials that aren't (Level 80 or greater and objecting) are also Machines, and their name has 'Bird' replaced by 'Jetfighter' if it can be
[22:55] Caelzeph: Doctorgrab
[22:56] Gadigan: Fantastically Soothing Hand Lotion- (Consumable, Potion, 20 Charges, 500,000 Gold) Removes all Concern element items from the thread that aren't worth over 50,000,000 Gold
[22:57] Gadigan: The World's Bounciest Dice: A Parable in Weapon Form- (Weapon, Dice, Life & Destruction, 8,000,000 Gold) +8,000 Ranged Attack, Wielder's 'Ranged Attack' actions repeat against randomized targets if wielder wants them to at the start of each round if none of wielder's other actions have repeated yet on those rounds
[22:57] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[22:57] Caelzeph: (Diiiiiice)
[22:58] Gadigan: *The Reserve Reserve, Haven of Alcohols- (Item, Property, Wonder & Water, 70,000,000 Gold)
[22:58] Caelzeph: Doctorgrab
[22:58] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[22:59] Gadigan: OH NO A HOERS- (Weapon, Deadly Item, Concern, 30,000,000 Gold) +30,000 Melee Attack, inflicts Confusion: Fear on everyone at the start of every action twice
[22:59] Armocida: Rukathal grab
[22:59] The Nottest of Daves: HROSE
[23:00] Gadigan: The List of Santa-Inspectors- (Item, Antiquity, Law & Good & Order & Ice, 50,000,000 Gold)
[23:00] Caelzeph: Cael
[23:00] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[23:00] The Nottest of Daves: aw
[23:00] Gadigan: AN H-SHAPED ROSE- (Item, Antiquity, Earth, 17,000 Gold)
[23:01] Gadigan: WHY IS THERE SUDDENLY A VUVUZELA IN MY BACKYARD: A LOUD DOCUMENTARY- (Item, Antiquity, Sonic, 17,000 Gold)
[23:01] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[23:02] Gadigan: Beef for Bees- (Consumable, Food, Earth & Acid, 1 Charge, 55,555 Gold) All Insects Regenerate 555 HP
[23:03] The Nottest of Daves: Ryuu
[23:03] Caelzeph: (Bee-f)
[23:04] Gadigan: A House for Some Dude Who Ain't a Beekeeper Anymore, Son- (Item, Property, Not Bees, 700,000 Gold)
[23:04] Caelzeph: Doctorgrab
[23:04] Gadigan: 5 Healer Bonus Weeks
[23:04] Armocida: Rukathal grab
[23:05] Gadigan: Computer Controlled by Licking Objects- (Item, Antiquity, Technology, 70,000 Gold)
[23:06] The One True Pathaky: ErrorGrab
[23:06] Gadigan: Computer with a Tongue- (Weapon, Toy, Hunger & Technology, 7,000,000 Gold) +7,000 Melee Attack, Deals HP and MP Drain
[23:06] The One True Pathaky: Errorgrab
[23:06] Armocida: Rukathal grab
[23:07] Gadigan: Photograph of a Mouse that 50,000,000,000 People Are in Love with for Some Unclear Reason (Maybe it is Cute?)- (Item, Antiquity, Electrical & War & Technology & Cure Pets, 600,000 Gold)
[23:07] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[23:07] The Nottest of Daves: CURE PETS
[23:08] Gadigan: Report about Colonel Wilson Jonas Breaking the Backwards Triple High-Dive World Record Seven Times- (Item, Antiquity, Mystery & Physical, 3,000,000 Gold)
[23:08] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[23:08] Caelzeph: (He returns!)
[23:08] Gadigan: Report about a Samurai Who can Turn Battle Arena Members into Her Pets- (Item, Antiquity, Concern & Triumph, 4,000,000 Gold)
[23:08] Armocida: Rukathal grab
[23:08] The Nottest of Daves: oh my
[23:09] Gadigan: The Old Shoe that Lied Forgotten- (Item, Antiquity, Rot, 500 Gold)
[23:10] Gadigan: Teeth of Decay- (Accessory, Bioaugmentation, Rot, 5,000,000 Gold) +5,000 Melee Attack, Wielder's 'Melee Attack' actions may deal HP Drain, and if they do, they inflict a debuff that provides -500 STR and CON that re-applies itself at the start of each round if it is not a self-reapplied copy of itself that stacks 10 times regardless of whether it is a self-reapplied copy or not
[23:11] Gadigan: Letter Reporting Tsayikk's Re-Emergence- (Item, Antiquity, Rot & Concern, 6,666 Gold)
[23:11] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[23:11] Gadigan: Report About Why So Many Items this Grabbyfest are Antiquities- (Item, Antiquity, Earth, 50 Gold)
[23:12] Gadigan: Report About Why So Many Reports Are Written During Grabbyfest- (Item, Antiquity, Technology, 6,000 Gold)
[23:12] Gadigan: Report About the People Who Write the Grabbyfest Reports- (Item, Antiquity, Air, 50,000 Gold)
[23:12] Gadigan: Report About a Committee Tasked with Writing a Report About the Reports Written on Grabbyfest- (Item, Antiquity, Law, 555,000 Gold)
[23:12] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[23:13] Gadigan: Livestream of a Man Livestreaming Livestreams About Men Needing More Chex Mix- (Item, Antiquity, Technology, 50,000 Gold)
[23:14] The Nottest of Daves: Ryuutarou
[23:14] The Nottest of Daves: (I feel you. I feel your feelings. I feel your feelings deeply.) XD
[23:17] Gadigan: Boat Made of CEEEEEEREAL- (Item, Antiquity, Water & Earth, 500,000 Gold)
[23:17] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[23:18] Gadigan: Report Criticizing the Boat Designers for Using CEEEEEEREAL Instead of SEAreal, which is Clearly Better for BOAT DESIGN YOU HACKS- (Item, Antiquity, Fury & Water, 500,000 Gold)
[23:18] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[23:19] Gadigan: Froblaltic Shadow- (Weapon, Force, Darkness & Color, 60,000,000 Gold) +60,000 Melee Attack, +60,000 Magical Attack, +60,000 Ranged Attack, +60,000 to all stats, All spells wielder casts are solely Umbramancy, Any Umbramancy spell that wielder casts that was an Umbramancy spell before this item's effects were applied to it may become solely any combination of base elements, treating Darkness as a base element for this selection regardless of whether it is one or not
[23:19] Armocida: Rukathal grab
[23:20] Gadigan: *HAXLANT, Gauntlet that Hacks People's Forces- (Accessory, Gauntlets, Technology & Hax, X Gold) Wielder gains the benefits all all equipped Forces
[23:20] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[23:22] Gadigan: Smax, the Breakfast that Smacks Back- (Consumable, Food, Physical, 20 Charges, 200,000 Gold) User may deal up to 2,000 Flat Physical element Damage to itself
[23:22] The One True Pathaky: Crazy Grab
[23:23] Caelzeph: (From the makers of Wox, the world's only stir-fry cereal)
[23:23] Gadigan: A Piano Everyone Keeps Thinking is a Plant- (Weapon, Instrument, Illusion, 5,000,000 Gold) +2 Melee Attack, Everyone who isn't wielder treats this item as though its sole subtype is Plant unless they are Level 60 or greater
[23:24] Gadigan: A Plant Everyone Keeps Thinking is a Mole- (Accessory, Legionairre, Earth, 5,000,000 Gold) +0 Melee Attack, Everyone who isn't wielder treats this item as though its sole subtype is Cthonian unless they are Level 60 or greater
[23:25] Gadigan: A Mole that Was Planted in the Organization- (Accessory, Legionairre, Earth, 5,000,000 Gold) Wielder's opponents don't gain Guild Benefits, Wielder counts as possessing an additional Cthonian ally
[23:25] Armocida: Rukathal grab
[23:27] Gadigan: Regret: Thy Name is Octopus - The Poetic Memoir of a Pet Owner Who Wishes She Could Turn Back Time- (Item, Antiquity, Time & Water, 5,000 Gold)
[23:29] Gadigan: A Time Genie's Lamp- (Accessory, Magic Item, Time, 300,000,000 Gold) +300,000 Magical Attack, +300,000 SPI, +3,000,000 MP, Wielder may spend an action to replicate the effect of any action that is Time element that is performable by an entity on the Enemy List that is below Level 80 and normally fightable for drops as though a copy of that entity were doing it, Wielder must be Level 40 or greater, Wielder if below this limit in an RP thread may use the item but gets one heck of an uncontrolled genie
[23:29] Caelzeph: Doctorgrab
[23:30] Gadigan: Steampunk Dwarf's Rifle- (Weapon, Gun, Steam & Technology & Air, 15,000 Gold) +15 Ranged Attack, Wielder deals 150 additional Damage to Chaos-element targets
[23:31] Gadigan: Zeppelin with a Sweet Dwarven Face on the Front- (Item, Antiquity, Air & Steam & Earth, 15,000,000 Gold)
[23:31] The Nottest of Daves: Celestine
[23:32] Gadigan: Racism-Flavored Cake- (Consumable, Food, Light & Darkness, 1 Charge, 500,000 Gold) User deals 5,000 additional non-healing Damage to targets who do not share a subtype with this buff's possessor as a non-stacking buff
[23:32] The One True Pathaky: Royget
[23:32] Caelzeph: (Hahaha, just missed with Tolva)
[23:34] Gadigan: WooOOOooden Teeth- (Accessory, Bioaugmentation, Wood & Phantom, 5,000,000 Gold) +5,000 to all stats, +15% minor negative status effect infliction chances as a non-stacking bonus, 100% Dodge against entities below Level 40, Wielder may choose to count as possessing the subtype Undead or the subtype Spirit, but must choose one of the two, Makes wielder a ghost as an RP effect
[23:34] The One True Pathaky: Einarrgeab
[23:34] Caelzeph: (The Denture Legend continues)
[23:35] Gadigan: Livestream of a Man Qutting the Bottle and Going to Brush His Teeth, Which are Neither Wooden nor WooOOOooden- (Item, Antiquity, Technology & Not Bees, 5,000 Gold)
[23:42] Gadigan: Livestream of a Man Returning with Clean Teeth, Which Are Still Neither Wooden nor WooOOOooden- (Item, Antiquity, Water & Law, 5,000 Gold)
[23:43] Gadigan: Livestream of a Naked Chick Who Is Not Getting Nearly as Many Views as the Man Who is Livestreaming Men Who are Livestreaming Men Who are Livestreaming Men Who are Livestreaming How they are Losing to Colonel Wilson Jonas in Basketball- (Item, Antiquity, Fire, 30 Gold)
[23:43] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[23:44] The Nottest of Daves: (gotta have that Colonel Wilson Jonas!)
[23:44] Caelzeph: (Considering what you have in the universe-bluescreen game...)
[23:44] The Nottest of Daves: (hahahahaha)
[23:46] Gadigan: Box of Spoons and the Broken Shards of a Bad CD and Also a Bit of Blood, Presented with Accompanying Music- (Item, Antiquity, Darkness & Technology & Water & Sonic, 30 Gold)
[23:47] The Nottest of Daves: Lurky
[23:47] The Nottest of Daves: (surely a cthulhumonster can do something interesting with blood and music)
[23:47] Caelzeph: (Depends on the music)
[23:49] Gadigan: Exploding Surprise Bush- (Weapon, Deadly Item, Fire & Wood, 60,000 Gold) +60 Ranged Attack, Entities below Level 20 cannot Dodge wielder's first 'Ranged Attack' action each round unless they are Immune to Traps
[23:50] The Nottest of Daves: Enrica
[23:56] Gadigan: Eyeball with a Helpful AI Inside- (Accessory, Upgrade, Technology & Psychic, 5,000,000 Gold) +5,000 MIN, +15% To Hit, Wielder's To Hit cannot be penalized by sources below Level 40, Wielder may scan a target's stats at the start of each round, Wielder may use a MIN value of 15,000 instead of wielder's MIN value
[23:56] The Nottest of Daves: Dulcygrab
[23:56] Gadigan: Clean Air- (Item, Material, Air, 5 Gold)
[23:57] Gadigan: Miasma- (Item, Material, Toxin & Air, 5,000,000 Gold)
[23:57] Gadigan: Wind's Breath- (Item, Material, Air, 5,000,000 Gold)
[23:58] Gadigan: 1 Air Crystal
[23:58] Gadigan: 5,000 Air Mana Oil
[23:58] The Nottest of Daves: Enrica
[23:58] The Nottest of Daves: (I feel alone)
[23:59] Caelzeph: (You are rather cleaning up)
[00:00] Gadigan: Bell Tolling to Signify the End of This Grabbyfest- (Item, Antiquity, Sonic & Time, 5,000,000 Gold)
[00:00] The Nottest of Daves: Lurky
[00:00] Gadigan: And that ends Grabbyfest
[00:00] Gadigan: Hope people had fun!
[00:00] The Nottest of Daves: HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ME
[00:00] Caelzeph: Ah, adding to his list of Unfun titles, I see
[00:00] The Nottest of Daves: it comes now
[00:00] Gadigan: I'll swing by tomorrow sometime probably to gawk at what I have wrought and forgotten
[00:01] Caelzeph: Shadow Vice-Chancellor to the Undersecretary of Unfun?
[00:01] Gadigan: Everyone enjoy the new year!
[00:01] Gadigan: Haha
[00:01] Gadigan: Give him that
[00:01] Gadigan: Please
[00:01] Gadigan: As an award
[00:01] Gadigan: Night!
[00:01] Caelzeph: CONGRATULES
[00:01] Caelzeph: NOW I COMA

[The Nottest of Daves]

Summary

SUMMARY OF EVENTS

The List of Santa-Inspectors- (Item, Antiquity, Law & Good & Order & Ice, 50,000,000 Gold)

A Large, Golden Drill- (Weapon, Tool, Earth & Wealth & Technology, 500,000 Gold) +500 Melee Attack, +500 STR, Wielder deals 5% more Gold Damage (to a max of 5,000,000 more)
Steampunk Dwarf's Rifle- (Weapon, Gun, Steam & Technology & Air, 15,000 Gold) +15 Ranged Attack, Wielder deals 150 additional Damage to Chaos-element targets
Zeppelin with a Sweet Dwarven Face on the Front- (Item, Antiquity, Air & Steam & Earth, 15,000,000 Gold)

Smax, the Breakfast that Smacks Back- (Consumable, Food, Physical, 20 Charges, 200,000 Gold) User may deal up to 2,000 Flat Physical element Damage to itself

33 Gold
15 Darkness Mana Oil
1 Formus Crystal

A Concerning Notice that Indicates that Items are Being Made without Proper References and May Possess Off-Kilter Gold Values or Unusual Text- (Item, Antiquity, Hax, 999,999,999.999 Gold)
A House for Some Dude Who Ain't a Beekeeper Anymore, Son- (Item, Property, Not Bees, 700,000 Gold)
A Time Genie's Lamp- (Accessory, Magic Item, Time, 300,000,000 Gold) +300,000 Magical Attack, +300,000 SPI, +3,000,000 MP, Wielder may spend an action to replicate the effect of any action that is Time element that is performable by an entity on the Enemy List that is below Level 80 and normally fightable for drops as though a copy of that entity were doing it, Wielder must be Level 40 or greater, Wielder if below this limit in an RP thread may use the item but gets one heck of an uncontrolled genie
Bill's Parakeet: The Fanciest Jetfighter in the East- (Accessory, Legionnaire, Technology & Air & War & Sonic, 50,000,000 Gold) +50,000 Ranged Attack, All Aerials that aren't (Level 80 or greater and objecting) are also Machines, and their name has 'Bird' replaced by 'Jetfighter' if it can be
Dave's Brother's Dog's Lips- (Item, Antiquity, Darkness & Fire, 5,000 Gold)
Imaginary Muscles- (Accessory, Bioaugmentation, Psychic, 500,000 Gold) If Muscles is set to Real, possessor gains +500 STR, (Insert Imaginary Element Text Here)
Regret: Thy Name is Octopus - The Poetic Memoir of a Pet Owner Who Wishes She Could Turn Back Time- (Item, Antiquity, Time & Water, 5,000 Gold)
Secret Anti-Knees- (Accessory, Bioaugmentation, Mystery, 50,000,000 Gold) If wielder would acquire a debuff that would reduce possessor's turn-order-determining stat total, possessor may, up to once per thread, negate said debuff

*The Reserve Reserve, Haven of Alcohols- (Item, Property, Wonder & Water, 70,000,000 Gold)

A Tiiiiiiiiny Model Replica of the Battle Arena- (Item, Antiquity, Universe, 1/80,000,000 Gold)
AN H-SHAPED ROSE- (Item, Antiquity, Earth, 17,000 Gold)
Boat Made of CEEEEEEREAL- (Item, Antiquity, Water & Earth, 500,000 Gold)
Eyeball with a Helpful AI Inside- (Accessory, Upgrade, Technology & Psychic, 5,000,000 Gold) +5,000 MIN, +15% To Hit, Wielder's To Hit cannot be penalized by sources below Level 40, Wielder may scan a target's stats at the start of each round, Wielder may use a MIN value of 15,000 instead of wielder's MIN value
Fantastically Soothing Hand Lotion- (Consumable, Potion, 20 Charges, 500,000 Gold) Removes all Concern element items from the thread that aren't worth over 50,000,000 Gold
Letter Reporting Tsayikk's Re-Emergence- (Item, Antiquity, Rot & Concern, 6,666 Gold)
Livestream of a Man Qutting the Bottle and Going to Brush His Teeth, Which are Neither Wooden nor WooOOOooden- (Item, Antiquity, Technology & Not Bees, 5,000 Gold)
Livestream of a Man Returning with Clean Teeth, Which Are Still Neither Wooden nor WooOOOooden- (Item, Antiquity, Water & Law, 5,000 Gold)
Livestream of a Naked Chick Who Is Not Getting Nearly as Many Views as the Man Who is Livestreaming Men Who are Livestreaming Men Who are Livestreaming Men Who are Livestreaming How they are Losing to Colonel Wilson Jonas in Basketball- (Item, Antiquity, Fire, 30 Gold)
Photograph of a Mouse that 50,000,000,000 People Are in Love with for Some Unclear Reason (Maybe it is Cute?)- (Item, Antiquity, Electrical & War & Technology & Cute Pets, 600,000 Gold)
Report About a Committee Tasked with Writing a Report About the Reports Written on Grabbyfest- (Item, Antiquity, Law, 555,000 Gold)
Report about Colonel Wilson Jonas Breaking the Backwards Triple High-Dive World Record Seven Times- (Item, Antiquity, Mystery & Physical, 3,000,000 Gold)
Report About the People Who Write the Grabbyfest Reports- (Item, Antiquity, Air, 50,000 Gold)
Report About Why So Many Items this Grabbyfest are Antiquities- (Item, Antiquity, Earth, 50 Gold)
Report About Why So Many Reports Are Written During Grabbyfest- (Item, Antiquity, Technology, 6,000 Gold)
Report Criticizing the Boat Designers for Using CEEEEEEREAL Instead of SEAreal, which is Clearly Better for BOAT DESIGN YOU HACKS- (Item, Antiquity, Fury & Water, 500,000 Gold)
Teeth of Decay- (Accessory, Bioaugmentation, Rot, 5,000,000 Gold) +5,000 Melee Attack, Wielder's 'Melee Attack' actions may deal HP Drain, and if they do, they inflict a debuff that provides -500 STR and CON that re-applies itself at the start of each round if it is not a self-reapplied copy of itself that stacks 10 times regardless of whether it is a self-reapplied copy or not
The Old Shoe that Lied Forgotten- (Item, Antiquity, Rot, 500 Gold)
The Saga of the Five Seals Placed Upon the Port Bottle by the Aghartan Abjurers- (Item, Antiquity, Earth & Mystic & Warding, 5,000,000 Gold)
The World's Bounciest Dice: A Parable in Weapon Form- (Weapon, Dice, Life & Destruction, 8,000,000 Gold) +8,000 Ranged Attack, Wielder's 'Ranged Attack' actions repeat against randomized targets if wielder wants them to at the start of each round if none of wielder's other actions have repeated yet on those rounds
Wharf District- (Item, Antiquity, Water, 15,000,000 Gold)
WHY IS THERE SUDDENLY A VUVUZELA IN MY BACKYARD: A LOUD DOCUMENTARY- (Item, Antiquity, Sonic, 17,000 Gold)

*HAXLANT, Gauntlet that Hacks People's Forces- (Accessory, Gauntlets, Technology & Hax, X Gold) Wielder gains the benefits of all equipped Forces

WooOOOooden Teeth- (Accessory, Bioaugmentation, Wood & Phantom, 5,000,000 Gold) +5,000 to all stats, +15% minor negative status effect infliction chances as a non-stacking bonus, 100% Dodge against entities below Level 40, Wielder may choose to count as possessing the subtype Undead or the subtype Spirit, but must choose one of the two, Makes wielder a ghost as an RP effect

1 Air Crystal
5,000 Air Mana Oil

A Bag of Venom- (Weapon, Deadly Item, Toxin, 6,000,000 Gold) +6,000 Ranged Attack, 200% inflicts Poison, 5% inflicts Venom, 100% inflicts Confusion on wielder at the start of each round
A Fake Goose- (Item, Antiquity, Dopple, 150,000 Gold)
A Raft Full of Vipers- (Accessory, Container, Toxin & Water, 2,500,000 Gold) Wielder gains Drowning Immunity and may summon 5 Reptiles below Level 20 at the start of each round
An Eagle that Shoots More Eagles- (Weapon, Deadly Item, Air & Patriotism, 8,000,000 Gold) +8,000 Ranged Attack, Wielder's allies gain +8,000 to all stats as a non-stacking bonus, Wielder's allies each count as having 80 more Aerials as allies for each ally they would count when not counting this item that is an Aerial
Clean Air- (Item, Material, Air, 5 Gold)
Exploding Surprise Bush- (Weapon, Deadly Item, Fire & Wood, 60,000 Gold) +60 Ranged Attack, Entities below Level 20 cannot Dodge wielder's first 'Ranged Attack' action each round unless they are Immune to Traps
Miasma- (Item, Material, Toxin & Air, 5,000,000 Gold)
Wind's Breath- (Item, Material, Air, 5,000,000 Gold)

Harassed by Seagulls- (Passive Ability, Curse) If possessor is in a Zone of Water, does not Resist Aerials, is not Immune to Aerials, does not Absorb Aerials, and does not Reflect Aerials, possessor has a random Consumable unequipped at the start of each round, with said consumables being destroyed if they are nonunique Food worth under 5,000,000 Gold

+ or - 5 Fame, with the + being if more Grabbyfest items this Grabbyfest have a 'B' in their name than a 'D' (capitalization irrelevant)
66 B, 68 D

-5 Fame -> +5 Obscurity (by order of Lord Gadigan, as he does not want to deal with the mechanical effects of Negative Fame)

Computer Controlled by Licking Objects- (Item, Antiquity, Technology, 70,000 Gold)
Computer with a Tongue- (Weapon, Toy, Hunger & Technology, 7,000,000 Gold) +7,000 Melee Attack, Deals HP and MP Drain

Livestream Feed of Men Going to Find Alcohol- (Item, Antiquity, Technology & Water, 17,000 Gold)

Racism-Flavored Cake- (Consumable, Food, Light & Darkness, 1 Charge, 500,000 Gold) User deals 5,000 additional non-healing Damage to targets who do not share a subtype with this buff's possessor as a non-stacking buff

5 Healer Bonus Weeks

A Piano Everyone Keeps Thinking is a Plant- (Weapon, Instrument, Illusion, 5,000,000 Gold) +2 Melee Attack, Everyone who isn't wielder treats this item as though its sole subtype is Plant unless they are Level 60 or greater
A Plant Everyone Keeps Thinking is a Mole- (Accessory, Legionairre, Earth, 5,000,000 Gold) +0 Melee Attack, Everyone who isn't wielder treats this item as though its sole subtype is Cthonian unless they are Level 60 or greater
A Mole that Was Planted in the Organization- (Accessory, Legionairre, Earth, 5,000,000 Gold) Wielder's opponents don't gain Guild Benefits, Wielder counts as possessing an additional Cthonian ally
Bob's Favorite Recipes for Broiling His Grandmother's Liver- (Item, Antiquity, Concern, 5,000 Gold)
Froblaltic Shadow- (Weapon, Force, Darkness & Color, 60,000,000 Gold) +60,000 Melee Attack, +60,000 Magical Attack, +60,000 Ranged Attack, +60,000 to all stats, All spells wielder casts are solely Umbramancy, Any Umbramancy spell that wielder casts that was an Umbramancy spell before this item's effects were applied to it may become solely any combination of base elements, treating Darkness as a base element for this selection regardless of whether it is one or not
OH NO A HOERS- (Weapon, Deadly Item, Concern, 30,000,000 Gold) +30,000 Melee Attack, inflicts Confusion: Fear on everyone at the start of every action twice
Report about a Samurai Who can Turn Battle Arena Members into Her Pets- (Item, Antiquity, Concern & Triumph, 4,000,000 Gold)

Beef for Bees- (Consumable, Food, Earth & Acid, 1 Charge, 55,555 Gold) All Insects Regenerate 555 HP
Livestream of a Man Livestreaming Livestreams About Men Needing More Chex Mix- (Item, Antiquity, Technology, 50,000 Gold)

Bell Tolling to Signify the End of This Grabbyfest- (Item, Antiquity, Sonic & Time, 5,000,000 Gold)
Box of Spoons and the Broken Shards of a Bad CD and Also a Bit of Blood, Presented with Accompanying Music- (Item, Antiquity, Darkness & Technology & Water & Sonic, 30 Gold)

And gains the Award:
Shadow Vice-Chancellor to the Undersecretary of Unfun

Five Votes in the Next Mayoral Election- (Item, Currency, Air, 500 Gold)
5 Mayor's Suit- (Armor, Clothes, Air, 500,000 Gold) +500 Defense, +500 MIN, +5 Diplomacy (Does not stack)
5 Lawsuit Against the Mayor- (Item, Antiquity, Law & Fire, 5,000,000 Gold)
'The Mayor's Favorite Five' (An Abstract Statue)- (Item, Antiquity, Earth & Chaos & Color, 15,000,000 Gold)

Knows a Samurai Who Hates Pants- (Passive Ability, Friendship) Possessor may, at the start of a round, up to once per thread, select an Armor equipped by an entity in the same battlespace whose name includes 'Pants' or 'Trousers'; said item is, at the start of the round three rounds after the current round, destroyed by an effect that counts as involving a Human named 'That Samurai Who Hates Pants' casting a Sword Arts spell, provided it is not unique and is not worth over 60,000,000 Gold

Recording of Rage- (Item, Antiquity, Technology & Fury, 6,800,000 Gold)

[The Nottest of Daves]

Reviewing the summary, I noticed a couple things that need doing, one before things can be posted to sheets, and two later

1. Item Fixes

Probably missing text: Imaginary Muscles- (Accessory, Bioaugmentation, Psychic, 500,000 Gold) If Muscles is set to Real, possessor gains +500 STR, (Insert Imaginary Element Text Here)
Missing element: Fantastically Soothing Hand Lotion- (Consumable, Potion, 20 Charges, 500,000 Gold) Removes all Concern element items from the thread that aren't worth over 50,000,000 Gold

2. Description of the element Concern

Appeared in:
Bob's Favorite Recipes for Broiling His Grandmother's Liver- (Item, Antiquity, Concern, 5,000 Gold)
OH NO A HOERS- (Weapon, Deadly Item, Concern, 30,000,000 Gold) +30,000 Melee Attack, inflicts Confusion: Fear on everyone at the start of every action twice
Report about a Samurai Who can Turn Battle Arena Members into Her Pets- (Item, Antiquity, Concern & Triumph, 4,000,000 Gold)
Letter Reporting Tsayikk's Re-Emergence- (Item, Antiquity, Rot & Concern, 6,666 Gold)

3. Description of the element Patriotism

Appeared in:
An Eagle that Shoots More Eagles- (Weapon, Deadly Item, Air & Patriotism, 8,000,000 Gold) +8,000 Ranged Attack, Wielder's allies gain +8,000 to all stats as a non-stacking bonus, Wielder's allies each count as having 80 more Aerials as allies for each ally they would count when not counting this item that is an Aerial

[The Nottest of Daves]

Items updated, except for Imaginary Muscles (for MIRACLES) and Fantastically Soothing Hand Lotion (for Dulcinea). Rulings on those remain pending.

Descriptions for Concern and Patriotism also remain pending.

[Modrageball]

-Moved to Condensed Thread-

Hanging bits needing review moved to a condensed thread to clear up some of the Gad-Review clutter.