Ruinous Rutabega Rhythms

[Aeromage]

THOU SHALT KILL THEM WITH RUTABEGAS
This counts as a Commandment of the Seething Idol

So long as Tolva kills at least 3 unique entities in quests using rutabegas as weapons per year he gets 20 Demonologist bonus weeks at the end of the year. If all his threads are stuck for the year (or mostly stuck) he can avoid losing this by posting 3 poems about killing people with rutabegas.

Tolva doesn't have any rutabegas to hand, nor are there any appropriately-deadly rutabegas available to purchase.

As such, to prevent him losing the Commandment, he'll get ahead of things by composing some poetry.

And because certain people seem to doubt his artistic credentials, he's doing it in haiku format.

Oh, Rutabega
Otherwise known as a Swede
I kill you with them.

A yellow bottom
A top stained red with your blood
Stop squirming, and die

See this vegetable?
I'll beat your fuckin' head in
No, that's not a pun

[Lord Gadigan]

Hahaha, thank you! These are approved.

[Aeromage]

Deadly rutabegas are still not a thing. Tolva makes with the poetry to grab those weeks.

An angry young demon named Tolva
Had a swede the size of a boulder
"You can't kill us with that!
It's just veg, you prat!"
He made sure they didn't get older.

Tolva's a pro at making chutney
He served a batch to humans, but he
Had no good intent-
The swede was hell-sent;
They choked and died rather abruptly.

Rutabegas aren't known for their violence
So Tolva carried one for a while, hence
Whilst ambushed 'unarmed'
He'd use it to do harm
And all that came after was silence.

[Lord Gadigan]

Haha, thank you. Those are approved.