You All Have Another Phone Call
Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2020 12:52 pm
This thread originally began on Dec 24, 2018.
Aeromage wrote: You must have, surely. Why else would you be on the phone right now?
At the other end, a rambling, tired-sounding male voice speaks.
"Yes, this is Mr. Progression...
...
...well...
...thanks for calling.
This is everyone, isn't it? I thought I'd make another conference call this year...
...you know, ''tis the season' and all that.
...that always struck me as a rather pointless thing to say, you know?
Really, it doesn't make sense when you think about it.
It's always the season, after all. If it wasn't, there's probably something wrong with time...
...not that it would surprise me, given what you lot tend to get into.
It wouldn't surprise me a bit.
One of these days, I'm expecting you guys to misplace Summer somewhere and replace it with some other season...
...maybe that blue one I keep hearing about.
...anyway.
It's definitely the season, again.
Which shouldn't be a surprise, given the mostly cyclical nature of time...
...but this one is the season for giving.
...and playing the same songs on a loop.
...with multiple versions of the same song back-to-back because somebody never heard about the virtues of curating their seasonal playlists.
You can't just leave everything to the shuffle function, you know?
"What kind of idiot would include four different versions of 'Deck The Halls With Bascaradine-Brand Seasonal House Dressing", you bastard? Huh?"
...well, that's what someone less blessed with patience than I am might say.
But not me.
Really, not me.
I've never yelled that out loud in the middle of a crowded food court.
It just makes ketchup go everywhere.
...
...well, anyway.
I thought I'd try something a little different this year.
...by which I mean it's kind of the same, only not.
That one guy already gave you a bunch of presents, but they kind of got delayed by that whole looming homelessness situation you guys got tangled up in...
Kudos for keeping the house, by the way.
...but most of you still haven't opened your gifts, so let's give the not-so-secret Santa guy a rest this time around, you know?
Makes it easier on the big guy as well.
...
...anyway.
I'm reopening the Mr. Progression Call-In Whateverhouse again.
Cleared it with the boss, who cleared it through the big guy and everything.
He told me he's fine with it, but wanted to warn that most super-weird things might end up getting revised or bound to Seirei so as to not let broken stuff out into the wider system.
...so don't expect whatever you get to stay like you get it, okay?
...what?
What kind of stuff are you getting?
Well, the boss didn't want to unbalance things too much...
...and he didn't think he'd be able to handle a proper Warehouse-type situation...
...and I kind of mentioned how popular that weird category was last time we did this...
...so you're all going to be able to get stuff from there.
And by 'all of you', I mean each one of you is getting a temporary Premium Progression Whateverhouse Ticket to spend on one of those glitch-categories, which I've split into different sub-categories.
Results will be based off stuff that already exists!
...sort of.
...don't expect anything workable.
It's just for fun, you know? For fun!
...
...huh?
What do I mean by 'each one of you'?
I mean one ticket for each one of you.
Not, say, one ticket for each nebulous meta-entity pulling your strings from an unfathomably abstracted ultradimensional information-space rendered intangible and unknowable to yourselves through the very nature of your being.
...not that there are any.
...really, don't worry about that.
Do well enough and you might get double-picks!
...or uniques, I suppose.
...although given what I got last time, don't expect too much.
Oh, there's one exception.
The big guy himself gets twelve picks.
He can do what he likes with them.
...why twelve?
Because he likes the number, that's why.
It's his show, so don't complain.
...oh, and I'll keep this open until New Year's Day.
...although I don't know how available the boss will be on that day...
...
...so, what'll it be?"
Mr. Progression's Call-In Whateverhouse II- Glitchtastic Boogaloo Categories
Each character gets to pick from a category!
Gadigan gets twelve picks, and can keep or distribute results wherever as he sees fit!
Good rolls might net you more than one item, or something better!
Don't expect to get anything that's likely to work or even make sense. This is straight from the depths of Null-ruled territory. Consider this a collection of weird oddities for the best price- free!
♦◊♦ I Saw Mommy Killing Santa Classname Not Found
Weapons, probably. May not actually be usable as such...
♦◊♦ Now We Don Our Error: Cheer Value Checksum = Null Apparel
Whatever these are, you can probably wear them as armour. Whether you'd want to, on the other hand...
♦◊♦ Invalid Int Value Gold Rings
Accessorise with some oh gods what are these.
♦◊♦ Hark, The Plastered Undefineds Sing
Consumable... things. What do they do? Do they do anything?
♦◊♦ The Integer Out Of Bounds Snow-Spell
It's magic, but not as you know it. And that probably comes as a great relief.
♦◊♦ Stack Overflow Error Around The Christmas Tree
Items. Definitely items. Definitely, probably, maybe items.
♦◊♦ Undeclared Variables Are Us
Whatever these are, they'll probably end up in a pet slot. They might die immediately after, but they'll at least start out in there.
The Nottest of Daves wrote: Dulcinea proudly presents her ticket at the counter for ♦◊♦ Invalid Int Value Gold Rings.
Ryuutarou roars cheerfully as he marches up to the bar where ♦◊♦ Hark, The Plastered Undefineds Sing.
Celestine ponders her choices carefully, and decides to invest in the category that her friend Chandar profited from during the last visit from Mr. Progression, ♦◊♦ The Integer Out Of Bounds Snow-Spell.
Khashox'ahk'durim, The Eternity Hidden in a Second, That Which Lurks in the Time Between Times, contemplates the ♦◊♦ Stack Overflow Error Around The Christmas Tree.
Finally, the entirely nonpresent Enrica gives her pretend ticket to the person not attending the clothing racks holding ♦◊♦ Now We Don Our Error: Cheer Value Checksum = Null Apparel.
Draconics wrote: Draconics seems most delighted with this!
Draconics: ♦◊♦ The Integer Out Of Bounds Snow-Spell
Nira: ♦◊♦ I Saw Mommy Killing Santa Classname Not Found
RM: ♦◊♦ Invalid Int Value Gold Rings
SO: ♦◊♦ Now We Don Our Error: Cheer Value Checksum = Null Apparel
Zwei: ♦◊♦ Stack Overflow Error Around The Christmas Tree
Underdog wrote: Did someone say strange gifts. Count me in:
Stearic: ♦◊♦ Invalid Int Value Gold Rings
Underdog: ♦◊♦ The Integer Out Of Bounds Snow-Spell
Oliver: ♦◊♦ Undeclared Variables Are Us
kitsune106 wrote: Kit: The Integer Out Of Bounds Snow-Spell
Hera: Now We Don Our Error: Cheer Value Checksum = Null Apparel
Celeria: The Integer Out Of Bounds Snow-Spell
Rey: Undeclared Variables Are Us
Kelvar: Undeclared Variables Are Us
Catrice: Undeclared Variables Are Us
Remalius: Now We Don Our Error: Cheer Value Checksum = Null Apparel
Gillian: I Saw Mommy Killing Santa Classname Not Found
Lord Gadigan wrote: Let's go with two from:
♦◊♦ I Saw Mommy Killing Santa Classname Not Found
♦◊♦ Now We Don Our Error: Cheer Value Checksum = Null Apparel
♦◊♦ Invalid Int Value Gold Rings
♦◊♦ Hark, The Plastered Undefineds Sing
♦◊♦ The Integer Out Of Bounds Snow-Spell
And one from:
♦◊♦ Stack Overflow Error Around The Christmas Tree
♦◊♦ Undeclared Variables Are Us
Pathaky wrote: Well, how curious! My crew take a moment's break from their revels to investigate this stuff of glitchy interest.
Nole's curious about how the NULLproperties of this place will effect Consumables. He picks: ♦◊♦ Hark, The Plastered Undefineds Sing.
Roy is interested in new and exciting killing tools." ♦◊♦ I Saw Mommy Killing Santa Classname Not Found" for him.
Ave invests in: ♦◊♦ Now We Don Our Error: Cheer Value Checksum = Null Apparel
Eva's gonna copy her brother-progenitor-gosh-that's-weird and go for: ♦◊♦ Now We Don Our Error: Cheer Value Checksum = Null Apparel
Einarr's pick is for ♦◊♦ Undeclared Variables Are Us. More weird friends for him!
Vrishni is curious what a nullspell would even look like. He picks ♦◊♦ The Integer Out Of Bounds Snow-Spell.
Crazy Roy loves shinies. ♦◊♦ Invalid Int Value Gold Rings, please.
<ERROR> is loving this. He wants to swim in it like water. ♦◊♦ I Saw Mommy Killing Santa Classname Not Found" for him.
and finally, The Music is feeling more mellow. ♦◊♦ Invalid Int Value Gold Rings, please.
Aeromage wrote: Several things glitch into reality.
Dulcinea gets:
Swanky Shooties- (Accessory, Ammo, Null & Earth & War & Earth, 613,000 AGI) +1 Defense, 10% whenever wielder is targeted by a Fire element action, wielder counts as being equipped by another entity and regenerates a Level as an effect that ends upon death, 55,000,000 Defense against entities, equipment and effects called '+4,000 Magic Item', any individual who possesses possessor's normal max HP amount inflicts HP Drain on individuals whose name includes 'Seal', while this item is In Stock, Magic element spells cost 110,000 Gold instead of their normal cost
Ryuu gets:
Last Moon- (Consumable, Food, Null & Acid, 1 Charge, 600,000 Gold) User deals 800,000 Gold damage to a chosen target, Heals 6,000,000 additional Damage, Target may charge user 2,000 Gold to use this item
Celestine gets:
Conceptual Margastros- (Spell, Technomancy, Null & Magic, (Caster's RES) MP, 1,555,315 Gold) Caster obtains the five following effects combined as a single buff: +5,000 Gold; +450 MP; +60,000 MP; +69 Magical Attack until the caster dies, when this effect instead deals 400,000 Flat Gold Damage to all entities; caster's Ranged Attack Bonus is set to +0 and the target of this action is afflicted with a random Major negative status effect at the start of the next round; stacks 3 times
Land: Greater%Twin Strike- (Spell, Bardic Music, Null, 500 MP, 40,000 Gold) Provides +300,000 MP, +5,000 MP, +20,000,000 MP, +50,000 Gold and +200 Gold to a max of 5 allied targets provided that they are below Level 30 and caster has created a Zone that is unable to become a Polymorph Effect
Khashox'ahk'durim, The Eternity Hidden in a Second, That Which Lurks in the Time Between Times gets:
Sea Emeraldic Coffee Cut-Out-Ite- (Item, Null & Magic & Technology, 65,000,000 Gold)
*Anita's Buster-Castle- (Item, Property & Mech & Mace, Null & Fire & Physical, 75,000,000 Gold)
Enrica gets:
Gunner’s Journey Clothing- (Armor, Robes, Null & Technology & Illusion & Sparkles, 100 Gold) 61,000 Defense, +8,100 additional defense if wearer is below Level 50, +8,730 Melee Attack, wearer's MP becomes (STR * 2), Wearer, upon first entering a battlespace that is not also Ninjutsu or Geomancer Armor, may create a copy of every summoned entity summoned by individuals with "Penguin" in their name that also possess the ability "HP Heality Coder"
This one's probably going to need to at least get changed to 'this item counts as additionally possessing an Element named 'Sparkles', but I left it in for entertainment value for the moment)
Aeromage wrote: More things glitch into being.
Draconics gets:
r, Said action inflicts Demons- (Spell, Wizard Magic, Null & Ice & Earth, 6,000 MP, 3,000 Gold) +80 Magical Attack, +150 Magical Attack, targets may not resurrect entities with Wizard Magic or Artifice, actions involving this spell count as involving the element Ice from 1,000 different sources
Nira gets:
Lique Gilded on Axe- (Weapon, Knife, Null & Earth & Air & Water, 70,000 Gold) +15 AGI, +2% To Hit, +30,000 Melee Attack, +48 STR, +9 Melee Attack, Deals 14,000 Melee Attack Damage, Wearer gains the subtype Throwing Weapon and counts as having an additional 2 Fire element spells equipped
This Item Sword- (Weapon, Sword, Null & Light & Fire & Air, 6,999,875 Gold) +90 CON, Wielder may spend an action to create a temporary Wand with the name 'Animatter Fight', the elements Null & Earth, a Gold Value of up to 500,000, and with the text '+104,000 Ranged Attack, +2,000 STR, +5,000 CON, +6,400 SPI, 115% Critical, May Heal', Wielder may spend an action to create a temporary Gun with the name '+190,000 Flail' with the Elements Null & Fire & Water, a Gold Value of up to 500,000, and the text '+3,500 Magical Attack, +6,000,000 Melee Attack, Spells with 'Orb' in their name cost 1,000 Gold instead of their normal cost, Melee Attack actions that are repeated at the start of each round cost 200,000 less MP', Wielder may spend an action to create a temporary Tool with the name 'When Wielder's Row For Has A Non-Stacking', the Elements Null & Technology & Psychic, a Gold Value of up to 500,000, and the text '+86,000 MP if wielder has +757 Melee Attack, +300 to all stats, 40% Dodge, 30% inflicts Burning with offensive actions each round, 5% Inflicts Wounded, 10% inflicts 2 hits against 1, 15% Wielder ignores the effects of Poison each round'
Roulette Master gets:
Enchanted Powered Prose Pet Projector- (Accessory, Hat, Null & Water, 300,000 Gold) Wearer gains Reflects Pain if afflicted with Confusion: Sky-Tailored and wearer is Level 40, wearer counts as possessing no subtypes if they have a Maiden's Core equipped
Silent One gets:
Sandwurm Gigaplate Army Cool- (Armor, Heavy Armor, Null & Magic, 15,500,000 Gold) 85% Dodge, +3,100 Defense, +6 Defense against entities with 300,000 Defense or more, +100,000 HP, Wearer counts as wearing two additional Heavy Armors, this item additionally possesses the subtype Ward, this item has a 30% chance of gaining the element Physical and a 25% chance of gaining the element Fire at the start of each thread it is brought into, wearer may choose to lose a summon slot when a non-unique summon is summoned through Geomancy and gain a temporary 300,000,000 Gold when doing so
Zwei gets:
d Dye- (Item, Material, Null & Technology, 300 Gold)
Aeromage wrote: The glitching continues.
Stearic gets:
ng Plumber- (Accessory, Helm, Null & Earth & Physical & Technology & Magic, 80,000 Gold) +19,000 Defense, +577,444 to all stats, 50% Reflects actions involving a Weaponx1 that target wearer with a spell that uses the abilities 'Melee Attack' or 'Melee Overdrive' or that come from allies that are the subtype Animal, with this item losing its text afterward if the reflected action's original source is either below or above Level 40
Underdog gets:
Animate Breezy- (Spell, Alchemy, Null & Light, 20 MP, 5,000 Gold) +2,750 Magical Attack, 1 hit against 4
Oliver gets:
Genius's Minor Status Effect- (Pet, Human, Null & Fortune, Lv. 54, 16,000 Gold)
HP- 1,000,000
MP- 40,000 or 120,000 or 200,000,000 (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
STR- 9,876
AGI- 21,100,000
CON- 8,500
MIN- 10,000
XP- 0
XP Needed- 5,820,000 (Standard Multiplier x1)
Defense- 0
Defense against Stat Damage- 1,000,000
Critical Chance- 35% or 60% (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
Resilience- 40% or 46% (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
To Hit- 140% or 144% or 154% or 165% or 180% (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
Dodge- 48% or 75% (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
Resistances and Immunities- Fire Immunity, Dissolving Immunity, Confusion Immunity, 20% Drowning Weakness, 100% Physical Weakness, 100% Acid Weakness, 80% Minor Status Effect Resistance, 40% Moderate Status Effect Resistance
Prime Attribute- (To Hit as an integer value, not a percentage) * 100
Constant Effects-
Unstable Entity Spawned From A Reality Glitch- Possessor does not and cannot possess a SPI stat or SPI stat value but counts as possessing a SPI value of 1 for the purposes of effects that check for such, possessor cannot die due to having a 0 or nonexistant value for SPI, Possessor's stats may not be linked to, transferred or used by other individuals, Possessor's abilities may not be transferred, copied or replicated by other individuals as an effect that include replication that treats it as if possessor were performing said action, at the start of each round, possessor has a 15% chance of being Defeated and removed from the thread, Constant Effect
Gunslinging Heals, Cures up to 50 passenger- One of possessor's opponents may, at the start of battle, choose to take a bonus action to perform an offensive action against possessor that may only target possessor, Constant Effect
- 800- Possessor automatically Criticals its targets that are Darkness element Demons afflicted with Awestruck when using offensive actions that provide 75,000 hits against 30, Constant Effect
Mist Formation'- Possessor deals HP Drain to summoned Celestials with names that include the word 'Gigantic', Constant Effect
Resistance- Possessor gains 95% Air Resistance and +1% Resilience, possessor is afflicted with Confusion: Berserk at the start of each round, Possessor may, at the start of the first round of battle, if it has stats, pay 7,000 MP to cure any debuffs or effects on possessor that prevent it from taking an action, Constant Effect
Dodge, and Pain, Deafened, and a target becomes Immunities- Possessor gains Absorbs Energy if possessor possesses Energy Resistance or has taken Stat Damage, possessor is afflicted with Instant Death if a debuff is present in the same thread with no opponent as a source and possessor's subtype is Plant, Constant Effect
Grand Ice War- Possessor has a 53% chance of, once per round, being able to use any of its abilities as a counter against entities of the same subtype as possessor, Constant Effect
Resistance-Requesting Kiss- Possessor deals 25,000 Flat Null Element damage to individuals below Level 20 at the start of each round, Constant Effect
Fanciest MIN Damage- Possessor's actions gain '200% inflicts Paralysis', possessor inflicts Voidstruck on itself at the start of each round, possessor may cancel Darkness-element actions that can Steal that also deal Stat Damage and deal 2 hits that target possessor, so long as said actions do not come from an allied source, Constant Effect
Abilities-
x- Inflicts a buff that provides +12,400 to any one stat at the start of each round (with the stat chosen being able to be changed each round, with the bonus from this buff not stacking) and has a 50% chance of inflicting one randomly-determined effect out of: (possessor gains Dissolving Immunity, possessor gains Burning: Awestruck Immunity, possessor gains the subtype Demon & Demon, possessor is afflicted with Drowning, possessor's Physical Resistance is set to 46%), does not stack, 1 hit against 20, Null & Magic & Darkness, 50,000 MP
Heavy Fist- 20,000 damage, may only target targets that are Elites, have Immunity to one or more status effects, or are afflicted with Drowning, Null & Light, 825 MP
Megavolt Breate- Caster creates a Zone of Dark Restorative Monstant Effect Immunity, Null & Water & Earth & Fire, 31,000 MP
Reavenly Forcefied- Target, if in the front row and in possession of a Physical or Acid Weakness, gains a buff that provides 100% Dodge and causes possessor's actions to gain the element Magic and add the element Magic to entities targeted by possessor, Null, 0 MP
Zonal Rage: Air- Does nothing, Null, 35,000 MP
Blades The Wartime Bird Form- (Possessor’s Max MP) Damage, targets Possessor, may also target entities in the front row that Possessor has dealt War element damage to, 1 hit against 3, Null, 0 MP
1 hits against Stat Damage- 14,500 damage to all targets in battle with Minor or Moderate Status Effect Resistance, 70% this action becomes the element(s) of all entities it targets, Null, -1,500 MP
Potency- Possessor's abilities that deal damage gain +3,000 Damage to their Damage values, Null, 1,500,000 MP
This is the kind of mess that category comes out with. Somehow it insisted on having To Hit as the Prime Stat. Be warned, this thing is even more liable to be revised than anything else thusfar.
Aeromage wrote: Even more glitches spawn!
Kit gets:
Danmaku- (Spell, Combat Arts, Null & Earth & Physical, 5 MP or 60,000 MP, 160,000,000 Gold) Unsummoned entities that were previously summoned count as being 10 Levels higher than their normal Level value, lasts 20 turns
alreads Warp Kick- (Spell, Arcanist Magic, Null & Fire, 100 MP, 1,850,000,000 Gold) Caster gains a buff that provides +2,300 to all stats for each equipment slot caster has and allows possessor's 'Equip' actions to equip unequipped Devil and Demon Pets carried by them to any target, if this buff's possessor has any Gold carried, they may spend all of it in return for being able to gain 3 actions that must be offensive actions that specifically target the first individual that targets them with an offensive action after paying said cost (and no other target), this spell may, at its caster's discretion, also count as a spell with the subtype Calculation
Heracles gets:
Briarch Program Code- (Armor, Light Armor, Null & Earth, 46,000 Gold) +20,000 CON, +100,000 CON, +5,000 Defense, +5 Defense, +800 Magical Attack, wearer regenerates 450 HP every time they conduct an offensive action, wearer counts as possessing an additional 150,000,000 Gold, +1 Defense against opponents with 30% Physical & Technology Resistance, wearer's offensive actions deal an additional +350,000 Flat Spatial-element damage as a non-stacking bonus, 30% this item gains the element Psychic at the start of each thread it is brought into
Celiria gets:
Brass or Holy Kinetic- (Spell, Technomancy, Null & Darkness & Magic, Darkness, 2,000,000 Gold) Target buff in the same battlespace gains +50 to the value of a single stat-buff it provides and cannot be removed by the entity the buff is attached to if they have a stat with a value between 0 and 2,501, with the removal of this buff generating a replacement buff that causes all Magical Attack actions taken by its possessor to become solely the element Electrical, caster gains a buff that allows caster to take half damage from spells named 'Wizard Mamba' so long as caster is Level 20 or greater, this spell's casting cost is the Element Darkness- the caster must possess the element Darkness to cast it, and loses said element as the cost.
Remalius gets:
Draconic Resistance, Wearer if wearer must be at the Caster's Greatcoat- (Armor, Robe, Null & Hope, 1,500 Gold) +61,000 AGI, +48,000 CON, +200,005 Defense, +140 Defense, 30% Technology Resistance, 15,000 Defense against Light Armor, +5% Critical, +5% Resistance, +12,000 HP as a non-stacking bonus, Wearer gains the element Technology, 5% wearer becomes the subtype Undead when this item is equipped, Wearer must be immune to Level 7 entities to equip this item
15% Mech Silver Armor- (Armor, Ward, Null & Earth, 508,700,000 Gold) +64 Defense, -150% Resilience, -150% Resistance to entities with 'Caves' in their name, -150% Darkness & Fire Resistance, Individuals may only reduce wearer's SPI value with spells or abilities called 'With Shadow-Woven Axelord's Plasting', or if they are Level 40 or greater, or if they (possess Magic Being Resistance due to an effect that checks their level to do so, possess 25% Antimatter Resistance and are Level 20 or greater)
Gillian gets:
Force, Chaos Butterfly Force- (Weapon, Book, Null & Light & Physical & Earth, 14,000 Gold) +5 Melee Attack, +75 Melee Attack, +75 Melee Attack, +8,200 Melee Attack, +3,200 Ranged Attack, +1,800,000 CON, All Earth & Fire & Light entities in the same battlespace gain +6,000 to all stats, wielder deals 50 extra damage with actions that involve spells, items or abilities called 'Long Pin', Wielder counts as a casting of Call Unto Seasons: Summer, Wielder may only apply Reflection against sources that are higher Level than wielder or that have 'Cannon' in their name, this item's value counts as being 3,500,000,000 Gold for the purposes of effects that check for such
Rey, Kelver and Catrice's pulls to come separately, as pets get a bit complicated with this.
Geddoe42 wrote: Geddoe snow spell
Kazivon saw mama killing
Semiramis undeclared variables
Atalanta hark the plaster
Aeromage wrote: A glitchy creature pops out of the aether!
Rey gets:
lf- (Pet, Insect, Null & Physical, Lv. 2, 100,000 Gold)
HP- 120 or 140 or 7,500 (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
MP- 50 or 17,200 or 34,050 (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
STR- 19 or 294 or 1,990 (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
AGI- 160
CON- 168 or 1,440 or 1,000,000,000 (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
MIN- 74 or 340 (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
XP- 0
XP Needed- 2,500
Defense- (130,000 / Possessor's Max MP value)
Critical Chance- 7%
Resilience- 2% or 3% (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
To Hit- 14% or 99% (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
Dodge- 2% or 14% (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
Resistances and Immunities- 90% Earth Resistance, 190% Psychic Weakness, 50% Law Weakness
Prime Attribute- Strength
Additional Stats-
Range- 1
Move- 3
Constant Effects-
Unstable Entity Spawned From A Reality Glitch- Possessor does not and cannot possess a SPI stat or SPI stat value but counts as possessing a SPI value of 1 for the purposes of effects that check for such, possessor cannot die due to having a 0 or nonexistant value for SPI, Possessor's stats may not be linked to, transferred or used by other individuals, Possessor's abilities may not be transferred, copied or replicated by other individuals as an effect that include replication that treats it as if possessor were performing said action, Possessor does not possess a Defense Against Stat Damage entry or value and cannot acquire Defense Against Stat Damage; at the start of each round, possessor has a 15% chance of being Defeated and removed from the thread, Constant Effect
Resistances- Possessor gains +5% Critical for its actions on rounds while possessor has under 40,000 HP, Constant Effect
Abilities-
Desert Cool- 568 Damage, Null, 22 MP
Defense- 3,800 Damage, 15% inflicts Suffocation, deals 800 MP Damage, Null, 0 MP
Prime Attribute-Agilities- 210 Damage or 1,500 Damage, 30% inflicts Paralyzed, Null & Earth or Null & Physical, 0 MP
Practice Edge- +30 CON, +250 AGI, 70% Caster becomes a Terrain that is named 'Entom' and ceases being an entity while it is such, 30% Caster's controller becomes a Terrain that is named 'Entom' and ceases being an entity while it is such, Null, 3,000 MP
These pets are definitely going to need looking over.
Aeromage wrote: The firmament trembles as glitches are thrown in the holiest of directions.
Gadigan receives, to do with what he will:
Mop of the the abilities- (Weapon, Shield, Null & Progress, 450,000 Gold) +23 Melee Attack, +145,000 Magical Attack, Wielder's 'Ranged Overdrive' actions gain +14 Ranged Attack and, if targeting a single target, inflicts Paralysis, 1% wielder has a 1.5 times greater chance of inflicting Paralysis on targets that are Darkness & Physical & Technology, Wielder's actions deal 575,000 Gold Damage, 30% at the start of battle, all Glory element individuals in the same battlespace as wielder count as possessing the abilities 'Cruel Enigma Man', 'Scholar', and 'Dracoknight's Ranged Attack', this item counts as additionally possessing an element named 'Reflectrical'
Blood Gun- (Weapon, Sword, Null & Darkness & Water, 4,500,000 Gold) +3,100 STR, All of wielder's stats count as being Darkness & Water element for the purposes of effects that check for such, Wielder's offensive actions inflict a debuff on targets below Level 80 that changes their name to 'Wearer's Bow' and their subtype to Arch-Demon, Wielder's actions deal half damage to targets below Level 50, Darkness element individuals in the same battle as wielder gain Fatigued: Stun Immunity and 28,000 Temporary Gold
*The Green Knight's Shirt- (Weaponx2, Orb, Null & Light, 8,650,000 Gold) +500,000 CON, +800 AGI, +5% Magical Attack (based off wielder's total Magical Attack without counting this item), +114,000 Defense, Physical Immunity, once per round, up to 200 times per thread, wielder may choose to ignore an action or effect that possesses the element Fire & Astral or the element Darkness, this item additionally counts as being a Quest Item & Antiquity & Artifact Piece, this item additionally counts as possessing the element Fire and an element named 'Instrict'
w/ Absurdly Walrusy- 950 Melee Attack, +950 Ranged Attack, +950 Magical Attack, +950 to all stats, Enchantment
or greater Ghargmaplate- (Armor, Robe, Null & Air, 4,000,000 Gold) +700,000 STR, +3,200 Melee Attack, 30% Acid Weakness, wearer's allies gain +1,100 Defense and +7,000 Defense against MP damage, wearer's allied Daemons and Fiends gain an additional 100% Acid Weakness, wearer may regenerate any lost subtypes wearer previously possessed at the start of each round (to a maximum of wearer's Base STR * 2 subtypes), 20% wearer may perform an action involving the ability 'Light Lord's Rune' as a counter to any individual that uses an ability named 'Resistance', Possessor must be Level 20 or greater
+7,500 Defense-piercing Mist- (Armor, Clothing, Null & Physical, 12,600 Gold) 20% Nobility Resistance against entities named 'Radiant Order-Determining Resistance Tolva Jofr'
Dark Runic Swimsuit- (Armor, Clothing, Null & Water, 29,000 Gold) +7,800,000 HP, +310 STR, +150,000 CON, +160,000 SPI, +16,000 SPI, +1,100 SPI, +985 Ranged Attack, +210,000 Defense, +1,900 Defense, +500 Defense, +3,500 Defense against all non-unique individuals below Level 99 afflicted with a status effect, +12,200 additional Defense Against Actions, 40% Voidstruck Resistance, 40% Critical Resistance, 30% Spear Resistance against Earth & Physical entities, wearer gains +1 Fame if wearer is a Base Element, if wearer is 40 levels above wearer's current level, then wearer may gain an additional Melee Attack when attacking themselves
Lucky Green considersilk- (Accessory, Amulet, Null & Physical, 30,000 Gold) +(Wearer's Magical Attack Bonus) to all stats as an effect that cannot bypass stat-capping, 5% Ice Resistance, 5% inflicts Charm a number of times equal to the number of Zones of Nightning-Shielders present in battle, Wearer may only target Physical element entities with spells, Demon Magic spells equipped by possessor that may be cast by entities below Level 20 become the subtype Celestial Magic, Druid Magic spells cost all individuals in battle 65 less MP to cast and gain the elements Physical & Tactics
The Questiny- (Accessory, Shoes, Null & Magic, 1,900,000,000 Gold) +700,000 AGI, Wearer may choose, when performing a healing action on a target wearer has scanned, to remove each status effect on target that was also present at the time of scanning and perform an action for each removed status effect that may only affect said target and may only be an offensive action involving a Spell or that applies a debuff, wearer Inflicts Charm: Impressed at the start of each round on entities carrying an instance of the item 'Light Socks of Wonder' that was created by the wearer in the same thread
Protection Meat- (Consumable, Drink, Null & Water & Light, 1 Charge, 500,000 Gold) Deals 500 Gold Damage or an amount of flat Gold Damage equal to the total numerical value of the user's buff-granted MP, 1 hit against all entities in the same battle, Does not affect entities afflicted with Pouring Root, additionally summons 100 entities with the subtype Food and the element Light
Grilled with Steak- (Consumable, Lethal Item, Null & Earth, 1 Charge, 300 Gold) Heals 5,000,000 HP
Lhorsand’s Toothie- (Consumable, Potion, Null & Light & Hope & Water, 3 Charges, 200,000 Gold) +10 CON
Construment of World of the two years Revelation cannot replicates a Zone of Illusion- (Spell, Arcanist Magic, Null & Light & Magic, 20,000 MP, 130,000,000 Gold) As a battle-wide effect, all actions that have a chance of inflicting Paralysis instead have a 50% chance of automatically Inflicting Paralysis, all entities in battle with an ability with 'Anarchomany Attunement' in the name may spend an action to create a buff called 'Bomb' that stacks 5 times and provides +2,000 temporary Gold, caster (if in possession of the ability 'Adept Ritual may chantment Ooze-Slaying') deals 1/2 damage, gains a 30% chance of automatically Inflicting Charm with their actions, and gains +890 SPI until the Terrain is changed from its present state
determing Shot- (Spell, Combat Arts, Null & Earth, 4,000 MP, 19,000 Gold) +200 MP, +60,000 MP, +2,000 MP, +100 MP, +600,000,000 Magical Attack
Song option Field- (Spell, Transmutation, Null & Light & Magic, 60,000,000 MP, 20,000 Gold) Caster may choose between entities they have summoned and assign the following buffs between them (with each summoned entity not being able to gain any other buffs from this spell while they already possess a buff from this spell): become solely the elements Fire & Earth; become solely the elements Earh & Darkness; become the subtype Dance; +100 MP; +70 MP; +5,000,000 MP; +1,400 MP; +28,500,000 MP; possessor's actions steal 80,000 Gold from entities that are a source of a currently-active instance of Paralyzed
Geddoe Beast Specialty Plant Bison Trophy for Graveyard (Commander Plates and Dreadful Metal Ballads CD)- (Item, Antiquity, Null & Earth, 5,000 Gold)
Alien Pies, Classic Childhoods- (Item, Property, Null & Light & Air, 5,000 Gold)
A couple of glitch-entities will be coming later with the rest of them.
Aeromage wrote: What is it? Glitches!
Nole gets:
Roasted Cupcakes- (Consumable, Food, Null & Light & Fire, 1 Charge, 30,000 Gold) User obtains and may count as having the names of up to 7 individuals in the same battlespace that have a maximum summon cap of 1
Roy gets:
Wielder's Scimitar- (Weapon, Gun, Null & Electrical, 8,200,000 Gold) 15% Critical, +4% Critical, +60,000,000 Defense, +40 CON, -(Wielder's Melee Attack Bonus Cap Value) to all stats, Wielder's actions that involve the ability 'Overdrive' Inflicts Confusion on wielder, 60% inflicts Paralysis on Throwing Weapons and Souls, 60% Fire & Fire Resistance (as an effect that only triggers against things that are specifically Fire & Fire element)
*Brightest Petrified: Star Lance: Murlakro's Silver Mauslesy- (Weapon, Staff, Null & Fire, 2,790,000 Gold) If wielder has the ability 'Adept Necromancy Attunement' and any Cosmic Ruler abilities, wielder may choose to replace this item with an uncontrolled copy of a Servant from the Zoo Record, and, if they do so, wielder is granted an action that may only be used to make a 'Ranged Attack' action against a summoned entity; Keep track of the usage count on this, stuff may start happening once it hits various values
Usage Count: 0
Ave gets:
Undead Greatcoat- (Armor, Null & Darkness & Air, 15,000,000 Gold) +30,000,000 Defense, +45,000 STR, +65,000 SPI, +50 to all stats, +210,000,000 Melee Attack, Wielder's 'Melee Attack' actions may deal 160,000 CON damage to themselves, 50% chance spells cost 50 less stacks of Immunity to Fatigued: Asleep than they would normally, wearer must pay the MP cost of (every 50 MP action in the same battle, every Alchemy spell and every action performed with an Active Ability that provides a Magical Attack bonus) in the same battlespace
Eva gets:
*Immune to Large Hat- (Armor, Power Armor, Null & Acid & Earth, 200 Gold) +2,000 CON, +70 Magical Attack, this item may instead possess the subtype 'Heavens' and have a 10% chance of being treated as a Level 80 source for the purposes of abilities and effects that check for such
Vrishni gets:
Solo-Boom!- (Spell, Enchantment, Null & Earth, 1,000 MP, 5,000,000 Gold) Deals 1 Flat Damage of an element named 'Smoke' per 3 summons in the same battlespace as caster, and 30 additional Flat Smoke Damage per summon summoned by caster, caster may pay an additional 30 MP, 1,000 MP or 1,000 Gold to gain a buff that causes all individuals below Level 20 and all individuals below Level 40 who are Action element with allies that are below Level 50 to lose all of their actions on the round the buff is created
Crazy Roy gets:
1% Air Resistance Snowboard- (Accessory, Hat, Null & Technology, 150,000 Gold) +84,000 MIN, +400 SPI, +20 AGI, +15,000 Defense, +7,000,000 Temporary Gold, Wearer's non-offensive actions that heal may be performed 4 times each round, Wearer must be (Level 40 or be in a Zone of Day for each action wearer takes with this item equipped) and possess the ability 'Unbound Gunslinging Suspended Resilience'
Goatmaster's Badge- (Accessory, Trinket, Null & Void & Spatial & Magic & Earth, 160,000,000 Gold) +75,000 to all stats for each status effect that is removed from entities named 'Worldsmelted Serpent', wearer may take actions against entities that are a higher level than wearer, this item counts as possessing the name 'Holy Made Noixian Cybernetic Eye (2)' and the subtype Amulet
<ERROR> gets:
Gem Lord's Rifle- (Weapon, Axe, Null & Air & Light & Atomic, 602,000 Gold) +1,600 Magical Attack, +83 Melee Attack, 60% Critical, +900 SPI, whenever wielder would use an action that may target 5 or more entities, wielder must choose to target at least 5 entities
Moedanbic Hedge Clockwork, Mace- (Weapon, Mace, Null & Physical, 16,000 Gold) +7,000,000 CON, +5,500 CON, +5 Melee Attack, +10,850 Melee Attack, 50% Inflicts Manablasted, Wielder’s turn-order-determining-stat may be used for turn-order-determining-stat purposes if wielder possessed said stat already or if said stat was destroyed by an action that inflicted Fatigued: Stun from entities called 'X', wielder's spells called 'Primordial Shield' may treat wielder as having multiple copies of an ally that has the ability 'Dead Wizardry' or 'Known to the School of the Balanced Flaming Axe of Weapon', this item additionally possesses the subtype Knife and the element Time
The Music gets:
Hand Daemons, Horror's Shoes- (Accessory, Shoes, Null & Glory, 260,000 Gold) If wearer has scanned an entity this thread, that entity may not conduct Ice-element attacks, wearer may not equip or summon Mechs, wearer's Vehicles that are above Level 20 and below Level 85 join a third side of battle that counts as being controlled by a Level 5,000 source, Daemons with names that include "Hangine' " that are below Level 40 may deal up to 4 times more damage with offensive actions unless a higher-level individual objects, wearer does not gain additional actions through normal means but instead gains an action for each weapon wearer has equipped that may only deal 1 hit and must involve wearer's Melee Attack bonus, individuals in the same battle as wearer who have unequipped an item named 'Golden Bucket Gloves' have their attack bonuses uncapped against Plants
Einarr's glitchpull is coming later!
Aeromage wrote: Weird things continue to pop into being.
Geddoe gets:
Enforce Burst- (Spell, Enchantment, Null, 15,000 MP, 16,000,000,000 Gold) Caster deals HP Drain to Phantom Terrains that are Junkyard and no greater than Level 40, caster may ignore effects coming from the ability 'Expert Damage' on opponents up to Level 60, actions that are countered by this spell count as not having a stat value to work off as a non-stacking effect and are delayed for one round per each instance of an entity called 'Azure Dragon' in the same battlespace that is above Level 40 so long as Caster has a Gun equipped
Kazivon gets:
Instant-kill Meet'- (Weapon, Mace, Null & Fire & Physical, 4,000 Gold) +210,000 Magical Attack for actions that involve Magic-element Spells, +9 Magical Attack if a Spear is equipped, 40% target gains Immunity to entities that deal 10 times damage to allies, wielder counts as having 200 additional Technology & Fire element Tools equipped
Atalanta gets:
Troop Deployment being spellant- (Consumable, Powder, Null & Water & Earth & Water, 1 Charge, 800,000 Gold) Target may be resurrected, if willing
Semiramis' glitchpet pull to come.
Aeromage wrote: Entries for further pulls in this are closed!
Glitch-entities are still coming for Kelver, Catrice, Gadigan (x2), Einarr and Semiramis.
Aeromage wrote: Kelver gets:
Desert Corporal (Pet, Plant, Null & Business & Physical, Lv. 10, 790,000 Gold)
HP- 20,000 or 2,120
MP- 130,000 or 56,000
STR- 210 or 900 or 1,370
AGI- 390 or 133 or 1,610
CON- 1,900 or 16 or 350
MIN- 1 or 70 or 650
SPI- 505 or 15 or 30
XP- 0
XP Needed-
Defense- 660 or 1,100
Defense against Stat Damage-
Critical Chance- 8% or 3% (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
Resilience- 10% or 1% or 9% (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
To Hit- 99% or 103% or 118% (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
Dodge- 4% or 120% or 230% (Determined randomly at the start of each thread)
Resistances and Immunities- 5% Earth Resistance, 90% Light Resistance, Diseased Immunity
Additional Stats-
Range- 1,204
Constant Effects-
Unstable Entity Spawned From A Reality Glitch- Possessor does not and cannot possess a Prime Attribute but counts as possessing a Prime Attribute value of 1 for the purposes of effects that check for such, Possessor does not and cannot possess a Defense Against Stat Damage value, Possessor's stats may not be linked to, transferred or used by other individuals, Possessor's abilities may not be transferred, copied or replicated by other individuals as an effect that include replication that treats it as if possessor were performing said action, at the start of each round, possessor has a 15% chance of being Defeated and removed from the thread, Constant Effect
Resilience-1- Possessor, regardless of listed Level, is Level 39, Constant Effect
Resistant Effect to the round- Possessor is Immune to entities that include the word ‘Hippo-Kin’ in their name or statblock, +1,400 to all stats, Constant Effect
Blazing Rending mode- If possessor has an equipped item named 'Bandage to Go Down Said', possessor gains +10 to all of possessor's abilities' damage values, possessor's abilities may become the elements Fire & Physical & Technology, gain +13,000 Damage to their damage values, deal MP Drain to targets, and gain Immunity to entities with 'Hit' in their name, Constant Effects
Abilities-
Dodge against- 18,000 Flat damage, Earth, 30,000 MP
Black Buffers- -100 Damage, 1 hit against all individuals with any form of Damage taken, 5% this action becomes the element Physical, Null, 15 MP
Centaur Botanica Guard- Caster may not become a Nekomata, Earth, 0 MP
Abilities- Caster gains Absorbs Fire, Null, 30 MP
Panic- 5% target becomes the subtype Dragon, 1 hit against all Psychic-element individuals in battle, 0 MP
HP- 2,900 Damage, 20% this ability gains the elements Magic & Earth or gains '4,000 MP damage', Null, 10,000 MP
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!- 600 MP Damage, target gains 70% Acid Resistance, Earth & Fire, 1% Max MP
Dodge- 1,280 Damage, 50% Any Acid-element opponent at who has taken damage with possessor as a source may no longer heal damage, Earth or Physical, 40 MP
(The element came out listed as being 'Business & Physical'. I was going to remove Business, but then I remembered it was one of the mistranslated elements and thus may well be in the running for being an Imaginary Element. Maybe this should get one of those activate-imaginary-element effects to make it gain the element, instead of just starting with it?)