Realm of Gadigan

Cael could have sworn he ruled in on this. Perhaps the business of Santa-ing distracted him.

Dulcinea, for REMALIUS
======================
Shoes that Never Get Sand in Them + 12 Crate of Stolen Desert Supplies and Finery + Sand Diamond + Celestial's Voice = Shoes of the Dancer of Charity (Footsteps of Song)

Shoes of the Dancer of Charity- (Accessory, Shoes, Light & Earth, 17,600,000 Gold) +9,500 Defense, +17,600 AGI, +17,600 SPI, 45% Dodge, actions or attacks that are Treasure, Wealth, Glitz, Commerce, or Grandeur element cannot inflict Charm or its sub-status effects on wearer, Opponents below Level 60 that are not 5 or more Levels greater than wearer cannot give wearer Gold without wearer's permission, Wearer obtains +720 to all stats as a buff that stacks 10 times that lasts 20 rounds if wearer either trades an item to an ally or places a buff on an ally, to a max of once per round

The shoes take the form of ballet slippers, but in drab browns and earth oranges rather than the more typical bright pinks, brisk whites, or powder blues. They radiate an aura of virtue and, over time, cause areas they are left in to be places where acts of selfless charity are likely to take place. Greed-based demons, devils, and other lower-planar entities find them repellant, and they serve as a ward against greed-based powers and temptations. The shoes boost grace and travel speed, but do so with less potency if on a treasure hunt or seeking some manner of reward.

"An item I thoroughly agree with, although I am unsure how well it fits its recipient in form, if not personality. I do not believe he is the sort to actively turn down rewards. It has created an item far greater than the sum of its parts, however, and would make an excellent addition on a quest for charity or to resist the temptations of darker forces."

Suitability- 2/5
Usability- 5/5
Potency- 2/5
Utility- 2/5

Celestine, for AVE
==================
Massive Plate + Gear Box of Fire and Ice + Mountain Range's Worth of Highly Enchanted Gems + Mountain Range's Worth of Highly Enchanted Obsidian = Twofold Clockwork Volcano Range (Masterpiece of Engineering)

Twofold Clockwork Volcano Range- (Item, Property, Earth & Technology & Fire & Ice, 97,500,000 Gold)

This is a small range of volcanic mountains, crafted such that their inner workings are made of clockwork machinery, complete with labyrinthine corridors to control rooms. From within the mountains, volcanic eruptions can be triggered, lava flows can be steered, and mountain heights can be adjusted. Should the right settings be toggled in four different places, the mountain range can either invert (so that it begins emitting lava down into some hollow-earth domain or planetary underworld), or can be adjusted so they produce cryogenic, flash-freezing fluids rather than magma.

"I believe, if I am not too mistaken, that the goal was to provide an elaborate and highly opulent, decorative suit of Grand Armour for Ave. This has not exactly gone to plan, although it is indeed a masterpiece of engineering that could provide great benefits in the fields of Gearwright and Engineer through use and study.

Suitability- 1/5
Usability- 2/5
Potency- 4/5
Utility- 2/5

Ryuutarou, for the Silent One
=============================
Golden Apple + Primordial Clay + Applesauce that Makes Genitals Vanish + 12 Huge Container of Fire Mana Oil = Spicy Apple-Flavored Ramen of Astoundingly Alluring Agamogenesis (Knowledge of the Best Ramen Recipes of the Decade)

Spicy Apple-Flavored Ramen of Astoundingly Alluring Agamogenesis- (Consumable, Food, Life & Earth, 1 Charge, 65,000,000 Gold) User obtains a non-stacking buff that prevents other entities that are not Level 80 or greater from forcing its possessor to summon things, that gives its possessor 30% Fire Resistance and 30% Flux Resistance, that allows its possessor to summon up to 5 Animals, Oozes, Cthonians, Aquatics, or Reptiles below Level 60 that are not greater than its possessor's Level at the start of each round, that causes its possessor to have a 300% chance of inflicting Charm on all opponents whenever its possessor summons an entity, and that causes its possessor, whenever its possessor summons an entity, to give itself a non-stacking buff that lasts until the end of the round that gives its possessor Immunity to Wounded

This bowl of ramen has shimmering, golden apple slices floating in a sauce that almost gives the impression of being brown-sugar-and-cinnamon flavored, accompanied by nearly-transparent, soft-white-glowing noodles. The ramen's flavor is exceptional, though it is assuredly apple-flavored, with hints of the expected cinnamon and sugar, but also accompanied by an astoundingly potent level of spicy hotness. The ramen's consumer is rendered unable to reproduce sexually, instead becoming able to ripple its form, transmuting the outer layers of its body into a soup-like, oozy-mass from which varied monsters - often with a primitive, primordial tilt to their appearance - emerge, with this monster-budding emitting a supernaturally alluring aura that enraptures and enthralls the minds of observers, turning them into dedicated guardians devoted to preserving what they see as the new source of all life and beauty.

"A fitting gift for an entity in constant flux, and an excellent use of the ingredients involved. It perfectly matches Silent One's level-band, and provides some interesting avenues for further development."

Suitability- 5/5
Usability- 5/5
Potency- 4/5
Utility- 4/5

SO is making a gift for Vrishni Havrisama

================================================================

12 Ki Fireball + Empowered Amethyst + Empowered Ruby + Empowered Sapphire + Empowered Emerald + Empowered Diamond + Empowered Teralyte + Empowered Topaz + Empowered Opal + Empowered Ametrine + Empowered Alexandrite + Empowered Zircon + Empowered Quartz + Empowered Iolite + Empowered Peridot + Empowered Carnelian + Lesser Band of Harmonious Exchange = Dynamic Jewel-Soul Essence-Realigning Palm Strike (Dynamic Element Stance)

Dynamic Jewel-Soul Essence-Realigning Palm Strike- (Spell, Unarmed Technique, Earth & Air & Fire & Water & Light & Darkness & Magic & Technology & Physical & Psychic & Electrical & Acid & Energy & Ice & Truth & Moon & Wood & Metal & Void, 5,000 HP or 5,000 MP, 5,000,000 Gold) +5,000 Melee Attack, Caster chooses two different base elements and two different stats, The target of any attack involving this spell acquires a non-stacking debuff that provides -5,000 to the first chosen stat, +5,000 to the second chosen stat, -50% Resistance to the first chosen base element, and +50% Resistance to the second chosen base element, Caster, if this action hits and applies a debuff to at least one target, obtains a non-stacking buff that provides +5,000 to the first chosen stat, -5,000 to the second chosen stat, +50% Resistance to the first chosen base element, and -50% Resistance to the second chosen base element

The caster of this spell realigns internal bodily energy flows, structures, and chakras, focuses upon the inverse of this momentarily-held second alignment, strikes a target while conducting this visualization, and imposes this inverted pattern on the target's body, forcibly altering it and then using the imbalance created to adhere its own inverse (the initially held pattern) to the caster via principles of balanced exchange. Both structures then crystalize in mind and body, extending their hold until an external force realigns or corrects them.

The spell's physical form when unequipped is a glass figurine, the size of an average man's hand, in the shape of a human silhouette with indistinct features; the transparent figurine slowly and softly glows through the colors of all forms of light visible on the world it exists within, with slightly brighter motes of the light sometimes glowing at the various chakra points of the figure.

"A gift that suits its recipient very well, allowing Vrishni his great control over Base Elements and experience with multiple martial arts to be put to even greater use. Realigning one's own resistances and stats in addition is also a useful ability, although it could also provide a measure of danger. Perhaps something of a double-edged sword in that regard."

Suitability- 5/5
Usability- 5/5
Potency- 2/5
Utility- 3/5

Ave, for Celeria/CELERY:

60 Dragon's Hoarded Treasures + Wish = Treasure Pull (Basic Commerce Synchronization)

Treasure Pull- (Spell, Thief Arts, Physical & Magic & Commerce & Earth, X Gold, 50,000,000 Gold) Caster obtains a Temporary copy of an item that is in stock in the shop that is worth the amount of Gold spent to cast this spell, to a max of 50,000,000 Gold, this spell's name counts as including 'Wish'

The spell reaches into a pile of treasure, behind a nearby object, into a pocket, or, with enough panache, just into the air, and pulls out a desired item. It combines Thief Arts with wish magic, also drawing upon principles of equivalent exchange refined through the lens of elemental and notional Commerce, allowing for nearly any type of object to be retrieved, using the caster's held resource base for power rather than drawing upon more-conventional reserves of magical power.

The spell's physical form when unequipped is a gold-and-ivory chest, perpetually open, spewing a fountain of coins, jewels, art objects, and magic-weapon-or-item-looking treasures into the air, where they begin to fall and disperse into sparkles.

"While not a thief, I believe the individual known as CELERY would certainly find this spell of benefit in the quests she undertakes. Requiring the desired item to be in stock in the Shop does cut down on its usability in more general terms, however, and it may quickly become expensive for what are ultimately temporary items."

Suitability- 3/5
Usability- 4/5
Potency- 3/5
Utility- 3/5

Remalius for Ryuutarou Ishinori:

Forky's Guide to Corrupting Reality through Masterful Cooking + Lesser Weaponized Dreamclothes +Codex of the Ancients + 2 Bottled Dreamstuff + 6 Unreality Leaves + Parallel Mageblast: Re-Engineer Reality = Abominable Mindcooking (Dreamshaper)

Abominable Mindcooking- (Spell, Psychic Arts, Dream & Evil & Hunger, 15,000,000 HP from any combination of caster's allies (including caster), 150,000,000 Gold) +150,000 Magical Attack, 15,000 MIN Damage, 500% inflicts Stat Drain: MIN Drain, 200% inflicts Mindblasted: Fried Brain, If an attack involving this spell inflicts both Stat Drain: MIN Drain and Mindblasted: Fried Brain on at least one single target, this spell's caster may summon a Demon or Horror from the Enemy List that is below Level 80 that is below the triggering afflicted entity's Level and that is normally fightable for drops, giving it a non-stacking buff that doubles its possessor's Dodge against one chosen entity whose affliction with Stat Drain: MIN Drain and Mindblasted: Fried Brain triggered the summoning of the buff-possessing entity and that also gives its possessor the additional elements Dream, Evil, and Hunger and gives its possessor +150,000 to all stats, Max 1 summoned

Mindblasted: Fried Brain (Possessor's MIN is reduced by 50% of its non-status-effect-counting value, Possessor's turn-order-determining stat sum is halved for turn-order-determining purposes)

This spell sends forth an airy blast of heated dark thoughts, dripping with the caster's malice and desire to corrupt and consume, infecting the target's brain as all thoughts - both physically-generated and more numinous in nature - are materialized, boiled, and turned into a tumescent, sulfurous soup that bubbles and pops as it erodes proper thought and replaces it with an aching, unsatisfiable, cruel hunger. From this bubbling mess of corporealized thought is birthed an abomination of hungering, corrupted notions and wretchedly expanded potential - a horror birthed from an evil dream, seeking to consume the mind that spawned it and then proceed to enact its dark desires upon an unprepared reality.

The spell's unequipped physical form is a quivering, tumorous egg that laughs in the back of the minds of those nearby and causes unshielded beings within a multi-mile radius of its aberrant radiation to begin drooling red and black trails of light, seeking to feast upon the brains of their former fellows - with the minds of the kindly and innocent tasting the best of all.

"Given what I am to understand of Ryuutarou, I believe he would find this gift absolutely abhorrent. Its mere presence negatively affects people for miles around, its casting requires great sacrifice from its caster and allies, and its culinary applications are extremely limited."

Suitability- 1/5
Usability- 1/5
Potency- 3/5
Utility- 2/5

Kit for Volatilis:

18 Fortified Bunker + 5 Adaptive Miracle Matter + 12 Majesty Core + Warded Tome + Mobile Alabaster Bastion-Engine of Ancient Days + Global Shielding System + Panopticum Shield + Extensive Notes on Spell Design + Insta-Deployable City-Protecting Force Dome + Wide Panopticum Shield + Total Abjurant Strength-Shielding + Total Abjurant Constitution-Shielding + Total Abjurant Agility-Shielding + Total Abjurant Mind-Shielding + Total Abjurant Spirit-Shielding + Twin Disruption-Stopping Mageshield + Hope Crystal- = Establish Global Abjurant Hypershielding System (Expert Protection Magic Attunement)

Establish Global Abjurant Hypershielding System- (Spell, Abjuration, Magic & Technology & Hope, 5,000,000 MP, 500,000,000 Gold) Caster obtains a non-stacking buff that cannot be removed or transferred by sources below Level 80 without its possessor's permission that gives its possessor's allies +500,000 Defense, +15% Base Element Resistance, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against STR Damage, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against AGI Damage, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against CON Damage, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against MIN Damage, and +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against SPI Damage, with these bonuses being doubled (with the doubling being uncapped against sources below Level 80) if it is either for the benefit of an allied entity that possesses a Constant Effect named 'Supermassive' or 'Hypermassive' or if it is against an attack that could target 30,000 or more targets, Caster must be Level 40 or greater and must possess the ability 'Expert Abjuration Attunement'

This spell establishes a massive shield - typically of continental or planetary size - though a skilled caster can tweak it to be smaller, that crackles with lines of defensive power, shielding against superweapons and nation-destroying attacks. The shield is able to concentrate greater defensive power against wider-scale attacks, redoubling its power against wide-area destructive forces.

The spell's unequipped form is a massive, wedge-shaped plate, akin to a slowly sloping mountain, stretching 30,000 miles on its longest side. Within its entire frame runs microscopic magical circuitry, elaborated with billions of different protective symbols arrayed in complex patterns.

"Perhaps one of the most potent example of protective magic I have yet seen, and certainly one that would be appreciated by the island in the pursuit of protecting its people. Mighty though Volatilis might be with regards to magic and defenses, however, I believe it has yet to meet the required level of expertise with Abjuration."

Suitability- 5/5
Usability- 2/5
Potency- 3/5
Utility- 4/5

Celeria for Nira:

Horse-Nira's Blood + Horse Spirits + The Water, The Balm + Dragon Flagon + Horse Mug + 2 Cosmic Embryo + 24 Potency = Cosmic Rebirth of the Pacifistic Horse-Self (Understanding of Mercy)

Cosmic Rebirth of the Pacifistic Horse-Self- (Spell, Biomancy, Blood & Time & Life & Astral & Hax, Poison: Drunk, 222,222,222 Gold) Target willing entity obtains a non-stacking buff that makes its possessor count as a summon of the caster (if not targeting the caster), that makes it count as a summon with no summoner (if targeting the caster), that provides +2 to all base stats (with this bonus increased to +3 if its possessor's name includes 'Nira' or 'Tolva'), that gives its possessor the additional subtype Animal, that appends 'HORSE ' to the front of its possessor's name, and that makes its possessor unable to perform offensive actions

Fueled by pure alcohol, this spell converts a willing target into a cosmic embryo, floating within a bubble of amniotic astral fluids, reshaping itself, developing in fractions of a second, then birthing itself from its sack in a downpour of starry light and cosmic waters. The newly-reborn self, no longer a mere mortal, has been given the essence of a HORSE - granting it unparalleled potency, with the resultant bodily form becoming a beauteous abomination, riding upon many horse legs that extend from the torso or preexisting legs, with hose heads (some with the reborn one's original face melded with the horse faces) extending from body, neck, and back, glorious manes blowing in a phantom breeze that lifts only them. Muscles surge, the brain swells, and the spirit shines with a powerful light, all developed and polished through the lens of HORSE FORCE. Such power, great and terrible that it is, comes with mandatory safeguards - to prevent the newly-empowered HORSE-BEING from dominating all it comes across, its mind and spirit are fettered such that they cannot even conceive of enacting violence upon another being.

Its unequipped physical form is a double-sized wine bottle containing a fetal horse whose eyes shine with the light of unborn stars.

"I am not entirely sure what the giftgiver set out to accomplish with this undertaking, but the result is certainly... peculiar. Potent, but undeniably peculiar. It keys into the bartending expertise Nira possesses and contains powerful elements and effects, but the enforced pacifism unfortunately prevents it from making it a truly useful spell for the general life of an adventuring Arena Member.

Suitability- 3/5
Usability- 4/5
Potency- 3/5
Utility- 3/5

Vrishni for Celestine:

Pocket Dimension: Clock of Elements + Wonder of the Ages: Construct Colossus + 16 Connectivity = Wonder of the Ages: Construct Elemental Clock-Colossus (Built the Giant Statue)

Wonder of the Ages: Construct Elemental Clock-Colossus- (Spell, Golomancy, Earth & Physical, 120,000 MP, 120,000,000 Gold) Summons 1 Colossus from the enemy list that naturally has 'Elemental Clock-' at the beginning of its name, that is naturally additionally a Clockwork, that obtains a buff at the time of its creation that cannot be removed by sources below Level 80 that are below caster's Level that allows itself to become any combination of base elements at the start of each round, that gives its possessor 30% Resistance to any base element that it is, and that allows its possessor to add or remove any combination of base elements from any of its attacks or actions, Costs 120,000,000 Gold to cast, takes 15 actions to cast, Caster must be Level 40 or greater and must possess the ability 'Adept Golomancy Attunement' or the ability 'Adept Gearwright Knowledge'

The caster undertakes a grand project, building a colossal clockwork golem so towering that a single footstep could level a city. In place of its head, it possesses a massive clocktower, in which elemental cogs spin, allowing it to take on the properties of any of the multiverse's more-common elements, imbuing its strikes with elemental power.

The spell's unequipped physical form is a thick codex detailing the construction of the modified colossus in a series of complex blueprints with heavy annotations elegantly written-in using fine ink.

"I am sure Celestine will greatly benefit from the study of this spell, as it is highly relevant to her fields of expertise. What it summons is, however, far too powerful for her as she is at this present time, and also requires a great deal of investment both in Gold and time taken to construct the Colossus in question. Perhaps more a gift for a future time."

Suitability- 5/5
Usability- 1/5
Potency- 3/5
Utility- 2/5

Roy for Tolva:

Ravioli Disguise + Unexpected Beef Cannon + Distraction Meat + Ancient Fury + Slap With Meat = Alien Beef-Cannoneer Ravioli Disguise (Otherwordly Power)

Alien Beef-Cannoneer Ravioli Disguise- (Armor, Disguise, Fury & Fire, 1,500,000 Gold) +1,500 Defense, +1,500 Ranged Attack, +150 Defense against Stat Damage, 80% inflicts Confusion: Surprise, 50% may inflict Impaired: Stun, 50% may inflict Burning, Wearer counts as having an additional Gun & Spray weapon equipped, Wearer gains the subtypes 'Food', 'Alien', and 'Abstract'

This disguise turns its wearer into a bipedal, typically-four-foot-high (but adjustable to match the wearer's normal height instead if desired) ravioli-alien with squat arms and legs whose side can open up to spray boiling-hot ground beef mixed with marinara sauce from its sides.

"An amusing gift for Tolva, given his tendency to collect unusual costumes. The ability to count as Food is an unusual power, and the Abstract connection is not one to be dismissed out of hand. With regards to the power level of the demon in question, however, it sadly falls short. Which is not an indictment of the height of the recipient, I hasten to add."

Suitability- 4/5
Usability- 4/5
Potency- 1/5
Utility- 2/5

Roulette Master for Rosaline:

Echidna Mask + 2 Beaked Thing's Mask (Greater) + 3 The Collected Regret of a Bad Relationship + Joshua the Vole's Drastically Bad Stageplays + 2 Reaver's Gloves = Mask of the Horrid Monster-Mother (Magewright)

Mask of the Horrid Monster-Mother- (Accessory, Mask, Life, 200,000,000 Gold) Wearer's summons' offensive actions each may gain a 30% chance of inflicting any one major negative status effect or a 15% chance of inflicting any two major negative status effects, Wearer must be Level 40 or greater

The mask, wrought from black stone quarried in a bygone age, takes the features of a crowned crone and merges them with a rat-abomination, creating a horrible amalgam of wrinkled woman and distorted beast. From its eyes and mouth slowly drips a wretched, viscous liquid, pitch black in color, that inflicts horrible maladies upon anything that contacts it. Imbuing the wearer with the power of a particularly-wretched mother of monsters, the wearer's summons drip with similar thick fluids, granting them the ability to afflict their targets with a great manner of lethal maladies and incurable curses.

"The Lady is well-known for her masks. I fear she will find this one difficult to find an occasion to use, given its unpleasant appearance and abilities. It is undeniably potent, however, and provides excellent utility in combat- even higher-level individuals would desire such effects at their disposal. Furthermore, while she might find such applications uncomfortable, her skill with Devastation may work extremely well with its powers, should she ever have occasion to step in that direction."

Suitability- 2/5
Usability- 5/5
Potency- 5/5
Utility- 5/5

Nira for Roy:

By Your Name You Are Bound, By This Power You Are Sealed, By My Hate You Will Suffer Forever + Parallel Mageblast: Re-Engineer Reality + 12 Steal Time + Yesterday, Today, And Tomorrow + 'Stop The Cockatoo: A Handbook' + Cast Into Torment = Black Temporal Sanction (Detachable Secondary Timestream)

Black Temporal Sanction- (Spell, Dark Magic, Time & Agony, 750,000 MP, 75,000,000 Gold) +75,000 Ranged Attack, +75,000 Magical Attack, Attacks incorporating this spell gain +70% To Hit, 200% inflicts Suffocation: No Future, 30% inflicts and instance of Vanished that afflicts its possessor with Smitten: Damned at the start of each round even while afflicted with Vanished, Caster must be Level 40 or greater

The spell blasts the target with the essence of a distorted, horrific timeline, trapping unlucky victims inside a quickly-detached timestream, in which they will be tormented, with death only leading them deeper into a nest of being reborn into one horrid timeline after another, each further from the worlds the cursed target originally came from. It can be cast as a traditional spell or fired from the eyes as a seeking double-laser.

Its physical unequipped form is black piece of parchment covered in glowing-red writing, signed by a dark time-judge to officially condemn an individual to endless lives in one timeline of torments after another, with the space for the condemned's name left blank.

"An absolutely terrifying spell, and one utterly suited to such a master of the dark arts. While not the most potent with regards to its attack-capabilities for his level, its true strength lies in the strong application of the Moderate and Major status effects that may easily be adapted to target multiple foes, not to mention the utility in ejecting its targets from the timeline.

Suitability- 5/5
Usability- 5/5
Potency- 4/5
Utility- 5/5

Judges still to cast their votes:
Einarr
Catrice



Things To Look At

Black Temporal Sanction- (Spell, Dark Magic, Time & Agony, 750,000 MP, 75,000,000 Gold) +75,000 Ranged Attack, +75,000 Magical Attack, Attacks incorporating this spell gain +70% To Hit, 200% inflicts Suffocation: No Future, 30% inflicts and instance of Vanished that afflicts its possessor with Smitten: Damned at the start of each round even while afflicted with Vanished, Caster must be Level 40 or greater

Smitten: Damned doesn't exist!
Cursed: Damned does, however. Was that the intended status effect?

Yes, it was. Thank you.

Catrice's JUDGEMENT

Enrica stares at the dizzying array of gifts, from the normal-sized to the improbably gigantic! She briefly considers the tastiness of Celestine's brains, but quickly realizes that they are almost certainly made of gears and springs, and not tasty at all.

Dulcinea gift for for REMALIUS
Shoes of the Dancer of Charity- (Accessory, Shoes, Light & Earth, 17,600,000 Gold) +9,500 Defense, +17,600 AGI, +17,600 SPI, 45% Dodge, actions or attacks that are Treasure, Wealth, Glitz, Commerce, or Grandeur element cannot inflict Charm or its sub-status effects on wearer, Opponents below Level 60 that are not 5 or more Levels greater than wearer cannot give wearer Gold without wearer's permission, Wearer obtains +720 to all stats as a buff that stacks 10 times that lasts 20 rounds if wearer either trades an item to an ally or places a buff on an ally, to a max of once per round

The shoes take the form of ballet slippers, but in drab browns and earth oranges rather than the more typical bright pinks, brisk whites, or powder blues. They radiate an aura of virtue and, over time, cause areas they are left in to be places where acts of selfless charity are likely to take place. Greed-based demons, devils, and other lower-planar entities find them repellant, and they serve as a ward against greed-based powers and temptations. The shoes boost grace and travel speed, but do so with less potency if on a treasure hunt or seeking some manner of reward.

REVIEW
“Well now, that’s a thing! Shoes that enhance morality! What a CHARMING concept.”

RATINGS

• Suitability:3/5 (decent defense and the stats. A good dodge build.
• Usability: 5/5 (no limits. )
• Potency: 3/5 (limited and no that best)
• Utility: 3/5 (good utility.)

Celestines gift for Ave


Twofold Clockwork Volcano Range- (Item, Property, Earth & Technology & Fire & Ice, 97,500,000 Gold)

This is a small range of volcanic mountains, crafted such that their inner workings are made of clockwork machinery, complete with labyrinthine corridors to control rooms. From within the mountains, volcanic eruptions can be triggered, lava flows can be steered, and mountain heights can be adjusted. Should the right settings be toggled in four different places, the mountain range can either invert (so that it begins emitting lava down into some hollow-earth domain or planetary underworld), or can be adjusted so they produce cryogenic, flash-freezing fluids rather than magma.

REVIEW
A good place for a base of operations. But as a battle item, lacking.

RATINGS

• Suitability: 1/5 (Ave is not a mountain.)
• Usability: 3/5 (Requires the ability to interact with it.)
• Potency: 3/5 (could be powerful if don right)
• Utility: 2/5 (It’s a volcano.)

Ryuutarou's gift for the Silent One


Spicy Apple-Flavored Ramen of Astoundingly Alluring Agamogenesis- (Consumable, Food, Life & Earth, 1 Charge, 65,000,000 Gold) User obtains a non-stacking buff that prevents other entities that are not Level 80 or greater from forcing its possessor to summon things, that gives its possessor 30% Fire Resistance and 30% Flux Resistance, that allows its possessor to summon up to 5 Animals, Oozes, Cthonians, Aquatics, or Reptiles below Level 60 that are not greater than its possessor's Level at the start of each round, that causes its possessor to have a 300% chance of inflicting Charm on all opponents whenever its possessor summons an entity, and that causes its possessor, whenever its possessor summons an entity, to give itself a non-stacking buff that lasts until the end of the round that gives its possessor Immunity to Wounded

This bowl of ramen has shimmering, golden apple slices floating in a sauce that almost gives the impression of being brown-sugar-and-cinnamon flavored, accompanied by nearly-transparent, soft-white-glowing noodles. The ramen's flavor is exceptional, though it is assuredly apple-flavored, with hints of the expected cinnamon and sugar, but also accompanied by an astoundingly potent level of spicy hotness. The ramen's consumer is rendered unable to reproduce sexually, instead becoming able to ripple its form, transmuting the outer layers of its body into a soup-like, oozy-mass from which varied monsters - often with a primitive, primordial tilt to their appearance - emerge, with this monster-budding emitting a supernaturally alluring aura that enraptures and enthralls the minds of observers, turning them into dedicated guardians devoted to preserving what they see as the new source of all life and beauty.

REVIEW
“Interesting. But not my style.”
RATINGS

• Suitability: 5/5 (fits the shifting ability of the silent one.)
• Usability: 2/5 (reduced for consumbable chrage)
• Potency: 3/5 (a good use for protecting stuff.)
• Utility: 2/5 (reduced for one use. )

Tolva's gift for Kit Timeshadow

Death-Scream of the All-Controlling Emperor- (Spell, Leadership, Nobility & Glory & Law & Fire & Light & Atomic, 2,000,000 MP, 200,000,000 Gold) Caster is killed; All of caster's opponents are dealt 2,000,000 Flat Nobility & Glory & Law & Fire & Light & Atomic element Damage and have a 60% chance of being afflicted with an instance of Dominion that its inflictor still controls while dead; this spell may be cast once per thread that copies itself to any summon of an afflicted individual, Caster must be Level 60 or greater or must possess the ability 'Expert Leadership Attunement'

Gathering both any shred of remaining nobility held and all its caster's unfulfilled desires to conquer and dominate others, the caster howls with such force as to explore in a burst of noble light, shrieking in endless fury at unfulfilled ambitions. As the detonation occurs, the caster's will is transmuted into screaming light that lances across the world, implanting itself into every being and digging itself in, overriding the will of the world's residents so that the control the scorned conqueror sought in life is instead held in death, with the undying command propagating itself forward to enthrall uncounted future generations, binding the world in eternal slavery to one almighty will.

The spell's unequipped physical form is a petrified ruler's head, transmuted into gold, mouth eternally twisted into a raging, silent scream. The head still bears a glorious crown - that befitting the ruler of a world - which cannot be removed from its brow.

REVIEW
“Okay. That’s a cool idea. Said it goes agianst that silly fox thing.”
RATINGS

• Suitability: 1/5 (not suitable at all)
• Usability: 3/5 (must die to cast)
• Potency: 4/5 (strong chance of Dominion infliction)
• Utility: 3/5 (must die to cast)

Rosaline's gift for Dulcinea de Montréal

All the Treasures of the Sea- (Spell, Channeling, Water & Void & Treasure, 3,500,000 MP, 350,000,000 Gold) Caster obtains a non-stacking buff that causes its possessor to lose all equip slots and become unable to gain equip slots, at the beginning of each action, the buff's possessor may choose up to 2 weapons, 1 armor, 5 accessories, and 5 spells that ((are being wielded or carried by an entity that is in a Zone of Water within any battlespace in the same battle) or (are being wielded or carried by an entity that is in a Terrain or Phantom Terrain of Ocean or whose name includes 'Water', 'Ocean', 'Reef', 'Sargasso', 'Deep', or 'Sea', within any battlespace in the same battle)), (do not possess restrictions that would make them unequippable by the buff's possessor), (are not unique items that are being wielded by a unique opponent), (are not being wielded by an opponent 20 or more Levels greater than the buff's possessor), and (are worth under 3,500,000,000 Gold), and, until the buff's possessor changes those selections, the buff's possessor benefits as though wielding replicated instances of those items, Caster must be Level 40 or greater and must possess the ability 'Adept Channeling Attunement'

The spell links its target's essence to that of all oceans upon the world the target is on and those within close dimensional and spatial alignment to that world. The elevated individual, becoming attuned to the metaphorical (and sometimes literal) souls of oceans, gains domain over the treasures therein, and may utilize the powers of any object held within the watery deeps, regardless of who holds it at the time.

The spell's physical form when unequipped is a whitish-blue basin shaped in a manner reminiscent of half a ridged shell. The basin is perpetually full of water (pouring out endlessly if tipped) and containing shimmering visions of treasures, sunken palaces, submerged divine statues, and (rarely) great sea monsters.

REVIEW
“okay, that is an amazing idea!”
RATINGS

• Suitability: 4/5 (excellent fit with the Citadel of the Fisherman and associated powers. Reduced for high cost.)
• Usability: 1/5 (not usablab.e)
• Potency: 5/5 (Very potent)
• Utility: 4/5 (good flexibility. But can be coutnered too.)

Volatilis's gift for RM

Darkness-Bombing Jack-O-Lantern World Escape- (Spell, Spatial Magic, Darkness & Spatial, 4,000,000 MP, 400,000,000 Gold) Target willing ally of caster is afflicted with an instance of Vanished that lasts 5 rounds that possesses an effect such that said instance of Vanished is removed from its possessor (including via expiration), its possessor deals (10 times the sum of its possessor's stats) Flat Darkness element Damage to up to 200,000,000,000 targets

The spell opens a dimensional breach, from which a massive jack-o-lantern pops forth, eating an ally of the caster. The jack-o-lantern is highly customizable and can have a number of facial expressions, be decorated (for instance with a witch hat, top-hat, or excessive amounts of candy), and can be a wide range of materials (such as silver, gold, mushroom-meat, or, again, candy). The jack-o-lantern, holding the target in a safe extradimensional refuge, then begins to travel a circuit between the planes, drawing power from the ensconced individual as it makes its dimensional loop. Once empowered, it re-breaches reality, unleashing a devastating barrage of darkness from between the planes (empowered by holiday fervor) and then safely depositing its passenger back onto the (possibly now enemy-free) battlefield before the final parts of its shell dissipate in a twinkling shower of ambient mana.

Its unequipped physical form is a silver jack-o-lantern with a winking face carved in its front.

REVIEW
Okay, now this is what talking about.
RATINGS

• Suitability: 5/5 (this seems to just fit!)
• Usability: 5/5 (very good ways to use)
• Potency: 3/5 (limited in thing.)
• Utility: 5/5 (Sure that in rp will be used …. creatively chaotically. by the RM)

Nira's gift for Roy Selim

Black Temporal Sanction- (Spell, Dark Magic, Time & Agony, 750,000 MP, 75,000,000 Gold) +75,000 Ranged Attack, +75,000 Magical Attack, Attacks incorporating this spell gain +70% To Hit, 200% inflicts Suffocation: No Future, 30% inflicts and instance of Vanished that afflicts its possessor with Smitten: Damned at the start of each round even while afflicted with Vanished, Caster must be Level 40 or greater

The spell blasts the target with the essence of a distorted, horrific timeline, trapping unlucky victims inside a quickly-detached timestream, in which they will be tormented, with death only leading them deeper into a nest of being reborn into one horrid timeline after another, each further from the worlds the cursed target originally came from. It can be cast as a traditional spell or fired from the eyes as a seeking double-laser.

Its physical unequipped form is black piece of parchment covered in glowing-red writing, signed by a dark time-judge to officially condemn an individual to endless lives in one timeline of torments after another, with the space for the condemned's name left blank.

REVIEW
“okay.. now that’s WHAT I’m talking about!”
RATINGS

• Suitability: 5/5 (Proper use!)
• Usability: 5/5 (Easily used)
• Potency: 4/5 (Pretty good effects)
• Utility: 5/5 (exellect use for a spell)

RM's gift for Rosaline

Mask of the Horrid Monster-Mother- (Accessory, Mask, Life, 200,000,000 Gold) Wearer's summons' offensive actions each may gain a 30% chance of inflicting any one major negative status effect or a 15% chance of inflicting any two major negative status effects, Wearer must be Level 40 or greater

The mask, wrought from black stone quarried in a bygone age, takes the features of a crowned crone and merges them with a rat-abomination, creating a horrible amalgam of wrinkled woman and distorted beast. From its eyes and mouth slowly drips a wretched, viscous liquid, pitch black in color, that inflicts horrible maladies upon anything that contacts it. Imbuing the wearer with the power of a particularly-wretched mother of monsters, the wearer's summons drip with similar thick fluids, granting them the ability to afflict their targets with a great manner of lethal maladies and incurable curses.

REVIEW
“I WANT ONE!”
RATINGS

• Suitability: 1/5 (anthseissi)
• Usability: 4/5 (met but minus for unsuitability.)
• Potency: 5/5 (strong for level)
• Utility: 5/5 (good use!)

SO's gift for Vrishni Havrisama

Dynamic Jewel-Soul Essence-Realigning Palm Strike- (Spell, Unarmed Technique, Earth & Air & Fire & Water & Light & Darkness & Magic & Technology & Physical & Psychic & Electrical & Acid & Energy & Ice & Truth & Moon & Wood & Metal & Void, 5,000 HP or 5,000 MP, 5,000,000 Gold) +5,000 Melee Attack, Caster chooses two different base elements and two different stats, The target of any attack involving this spell acquires a non-stacking debuff that provides -5,000 to the first chosen stat, +5,000 to the second chosen stat, -50% Resistance to the first chosen base element, and +50% Resistance to the second chosen base element, Caster, if this action hits and applies a debuff to at least one target, obtains a non-stacking buff that provides +5,000 to the first chosen stat, -5,000 to the second chosen stat, +50% Resistance to the first chosen base element, and -50% Resistance to the second chosen base element

The caster of this spell realigns internal bodily energy flows, structures, and chakras, focuses upon the inverse of this momentarily-held second alignment, strikes a target while conducting this visualization, and imposes this inverted pattern on the target's body, forcibly altering it and then using the imbalance created to adhere its own inverse (the initially held pattern) to the caster via principles of balanced exchange. Both structures then crystalize in mind and body, extending their hold until an external force realigns or corrects them.

The spell's physical form when unequipped is a glass figurine, the size of an average man's hand, in the shape of a human silhouette with indistinct features; the transparent figurine slowly and softly glows through the colors of all forms of light visible on the world it exists within, with slightly brighter motes of the light sometimes glowing at the various chakra points of the figure.

REVIEW
Not so sure!

RATINGS

• Suitability: 4/5 (fits his theme.)
• Usability: 3/5 (can be coutnered
• Potency: 2/5 (niche )
• Utility: 3/5 (interesting.)

Roy Selim's gift for Tolva

Alien Beef-Cannoneer Ravioli Disguise- (Armor, Disguise, Fury & Fire, 1,500,000 Gold) +1,500 Defense, +1,500 Ranged Attack, +150 Defense against Stat Damage, 80% inflicts Confusion: Surprise, 50% may inflict Impaired: Stun, 50% may inflict Burning, Wearer counts as having an additional Gun & Spray weapon equipped, Wearer gains the subtypes 'Food', 'Alien', and 'Abstract'

This disguise turns its wearer into a bipedal, typically-four-foot-high (but adjustable to match the wearer's normal height instead if desired) ravioli-alien with squat arms and legs whose side can open up to spray boiling-hot ground beef mixed with marinara sauce from its sides.

REVIEW

RATINGS

• Suitability:3/5 (hits one use but misses others.)
• Usability: 3/5 (standard armor)
• Potency: 1/5 (very weak )
• Utility: 2/5 (niche)

Ave Selim's gift for CELERY

Treasure Pull- (Spell, Thief Arts, Physical & Magic & Commerce & Earth, X Gold, 50,000,000 Gold) Caster obtains a Temporary copy of an item that is in stock in the shop that is worth the amount of Gold spent to cast this spell, to a max of 50,000,000 Gold, this spell's name counts as including 'Wish'

The spell reaches into a pile of treasure, behind a nearby object, into a pocket, or, with enough panache, just into the air, and pulls out a desired item. It combines Thief Arts with wish magic, also drawing upon principles of equivalent exchange refined through the lens of elemental and notional Commerce, allowing for nearly any type of object to be retrieved, using the caster's held resource base for power rather than drawing upon more-conventional reserves of magical power.

The spell's physical form when unequipped is a gold-and-ivory chest, perpetually open, spewing a fountain of coins, jewels, art objects, and magic-weapon-or-item-looking treasures into the air, where they begin to fall and disperse into sparkles.

REVIEW

RATINGS

• Suitability: 4/5 (good loko)
• Usability: 3/5 (finically based)
• Potency: 3/5 (niche again)
• Utility: 5/5 (good obth mechancially and rpwise)

Vrishni Havrisama's gift for Celestine von Reuter

Wonder of the Ages: Construct Elemental Clock-Colossus- (Spell, Golomancy, Earth & Physical, 120,000 MP, 120,000,000 Gold) Summons 1 Colossus from the enemy list that naturally has 'Elemental Clock-' at the beginning of its name, that is naturally additionally a Clockwork, that obtains a buff at the time of its creation that cannot be removed by sources below Level 80 that are below caster's Level that allows itself to become any combination of base elements at the start of each round, that gives its possessor 30% Resistance to any base element that it is, and that allows its possessor to add or remove any combination of base elements from any of its attacks or actions, Costs 120,000,000 Gold to cast, takes 15 actions to cast, Caster must be Level 40 or greater and must possess the ability 'Adept Golomancy Attunement' or the ability 'Adept Gearwright Knowledge'

The caster undertakes a grand project, building a colossal clockwork golem so towering that a single footstep could level a city. In place of its head, it possesses a massive clocktower, in which elemental cogs spin, allowing it to take on the properties of any of the multiverse's more-common elements, imbuing its strikes with elemental power.

The spell's unequipped physical form is a thick codex detailing the construction of the modified colossus in a series of complex blueprints with heavy annotations elegantly written-in using fine ink.

REVIEW
SHINY!
RATINGS

• Suitability: 3/5 (not mad science)
• Usability: 3/5 (complex)
• Potency: 5/5 (strong usmmon)
• Utility: 5/5 (strong)

[/quote]

The judging hall is empty, save for a lone janitor, whistling old standards to himself as he sweeps the floor. Outside, crickets chirp fitfully. The pile of gifts remain, assiduously dusted by this king among custodians.

Elsewhere--

Einarr has been soaking in the bath- ever since he received this primo hot tub in the wake of CAIN, he- all of him- all dozen or so constituent bodies- have been luxuriating for literal years. Piles of mail molder, including several increasingly frantic messages asking him to at least REPORT his judging opinions. He's ignored them, if he noticed them at all.

There's a rumble, and the moebius-circuit of hot, perfumed water filling the spa begins to gutter, then stops. All Einarrs groan in annoyance, peeling cucumbers from their eyes and emerging, truly shockingly wrinkly, from their soak. A new letter flits down to land in the hand of one of the old, strange, blue, men. It's postmarked from Eva Selim, who Einarr vaguely remembers as some sort of boot-scooting werebear. Apparently she's been moonlighting as a wannabe postwoman. The letter (more of a postcard, 'nar grumbles), announces that the water will only turn back on once he's fulfilled his responsibility as a contest judge.

Several hours later, a dozen grizzled figures amble into the concert hall. Some are old men, toting antique rifles. Others are giant birds, old human heads bobbling on partridge bodies, sagging necks wrinkling. Others are trees, bent to fit inside the building, being carried in huge pots by other birds and men.

The janitor drops his broom.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, UNTWIST YOUR SHORTS, WE'RE HERE, LET'S GET JUDGING ALREADY"

S.O. for Vrishni

Dynamic Jewel-Soul Essence-Realigning Palm Strike- (Spell, Unarmed Technique, Earth & Air & Fire & Water & Light & Darkness & Magic & Technology & Physical & Psychic & Electrical & Acid & Energy & Ice & Truth & Moon & Wood & Metal & Void, 5,000 HP or 5,000 MP, 5,000,000 Gold) +5,000 Melee Attack, Caster chooses two different base elements and two different stats, The target of any attack involving this spell acquires a non-stacking debuff that provides -5,000 to the first chosen stat, +5,000 to the second chosen stat, -50% Resistance to the first chosen base element, and +50% Resistance to the second chosen base element, Caster, if this action hits and applies a debuff to at least one target, obtains a non-stacking buff that provides +5,000 to the first chosen stat, -5,000 to the second chosen stat, +50% Resistance to the first chosen base element, and -50% Resistance to the second chosen base element

The caster of this spell realigns internal bodily energy flows, structures, and chakras, focuses upon the inverse of this momentarily-held second alignment, strikes a target while conducting this visualization, and imposes this inverted pattern on the target's body, forcibly altering it and then using the imbalance created to adhere its own inverse (the initially held pattern) to the caster via principles of balanced exchange. Both structures then crystalize in mind and body, extending their hold until an external force realigns or corrects them.

The spell's physical form when unequipped is a glass figurine, the size of an average man's hand, in the shape of a human silhouette with indistinct features; the transparent figurine slowly and softly glows through the colors of all forms of light visible on the world it exists within, with slightly brighter motes of the light sometimes glowing at the various chakra points of the figure.

RATINGS
Suitability: 5/5 (THE KID IS ALWAYS PUNCHING OR KICKING ARROWS AND THINGS AND HE LOVES TO TALK ABOUT ELEMENTS AND CHAKRA POINTS)
Usability: 2/5 (NEAT TO PINPOINT AN ENEMY'S STRENGTH AND TAKE IT BUT ITS VERY FAIR- HARD TO PLAN AROUND LOSING AS MUCH AS Y'GAIN)
Potency: 3/5 (THERES MORE POTENCY IN THE WEAKNESS SHUFFLING THAN TH' ATTACK OR STAT BUFF)
Utility: 3/5 (I LIKE THE IDEA OF HITTIN SOMEONE WITH SOMETHING THEY THINK THEYRE STRONG TO AND CHANGIN' THEIR WORLD.)

Rosaline for Dulcinea

12 Crown of the Absolute Emperor + Leviathan's Egg + 3 Godcrown Steel + 3 Planecage Gold + 3 Adept's Horizon-Breaking Formula + 6 Spatial Domain-Core-Linking Crystal + 12 Diamond from the Hoard of Wonders + 80 Ocean Lure + 60 Waters at the World's Edge + Mobile Ocean + Ocean Full of Strange Sealife + Ocean of Illusory Fish + Mirror-Water Ocean + Wonderous Dreamfont = All the Treasures of the Sea (Channeling The Soul Of All The World's Treasures)

All the Treasures of the Sea- (Spell, Channeling, Water & Void & Treasure, 3,500,000 MP, 350,000,000 Gold) Caster obtains a non-stacking buff that causes its possessor to lose all equip slots and become unable to gain equip slots, at the beginning of each action, the buff's possessor may choose up to 2 weapons, 1 armor, 5 accessories, and 5 spells that ((are being wielded or carried by an entity that is in a Zone of Water within any battlespace in the same battle) or (are being wielded or carried by an entity that is in a Terrain or Phantom Terrain of Ocean or whose name includes 'Water', 'Ocean', 'Reef', 'Sargasso', 'Deep', or 'Sea', within any battlespace in the same battle)), (do not possess restrictions that would make them unequippable by the buff's possessor), (are not unique items that are being wielded by a unique opponent), (are not being wielded by an opponent 20 or more Levels greater than the buff's possessor), and (are worth under 3,500,000,000 Gold), and, until the buff's possessor changes those selections, the buff's possessor benefits as though wielding replicated instances of those items, Caster must be Level 40 or greater and must possess the ability 'Adept Channeling Attunement'

The spell links its target's essence to that of all oceans upon the world the target is on and those within close dimensional and spatial alignment to that world. The elevated individual, becoming attuned to the metaphorical (and sometimes literal) souls of oceans, gains domain over the treasures therein, and may utilize the powers of any object held within the watery deeps, regardless of who holds it at the time.

The spell's physical form when unequipped is a whitish-blue basin shaped in a manner reminiscent of half a ridged shell. The basin is perpetually full of water (pouring out endlessly if tipped) and containing shimmering visions of treasures, sunken palaces, submerged divine statues, and (rarely) great sea monsters.

Suitability: 4/5 (TH'LADY'S ALWAYS ON ABOUT THAT FISHER KING CASTLE. FISHIN' FOR TREASURES SEEMS LIKE A FAIR HOP.)
Usability: 4/5 (ADEPT CHANNELER'S COMMON ENOUGH, WHOLE FEKKIN UNIVERSE IS MADE O' MANA, MAKES SENSE THAT PEOPLE WANT TO WORK WITH IT LIKE THAT, BUT THE MANA COST IS STEEP)
Potency: 4/5 (THERE'S A SURPRISING AMOUNT OF THINGS THIS CAN GRAB, WITH THE DIFFICULTY OF MAKING SURE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE HOLDING THEM ARE WET)
Utility: 5/5 (YE CAN SWITCH IT UP WHAT YOU'RE BRINGIN' TO A FIGHT TO TAILOR YOUR PUNISHMENT T' WHAT THEY'RE ASKIN' FOR. GOOD STUFF.)

Remalius for Ryuutarou

Forky's Guide to Corrupting Reality through Masterful Cooking + Lesser Weaponized Dreamclothes +Codex of the Ancients + 2 Bottled Dreamstuff + 6 Unreality Leaves + Parallel Mageblast: Re-Engineer Reality = Abominable Mindcooking (Dreamshaper)

Abominable Mindcooking- (Spell, Psychic Arts, Dream & Evil & Hunger, 15,000,000 HP from any combination of caster's allies (including caster), 150,000,000 Gold) +150,000 Magical Attack, 15,000 MIN Damage, 500% inflicts Stat Drain: MIN Drain, 200% inflicts Mindblasted: Fried Brain, If an attack involving this spell inflicts both Stat Drain: MIN Drain and Mindblasted: Fried Brain on at least one single target, this spell's caster may summon a Demon or Horror from the Enemy List that is below Level 80 that is below the triggering afflicted entity's Level and that is normally fightable for drops, giving it a non-stacking buff that doubles its possessor's Dodge against one chosen entity whose affliction with Stat Drain: MIN Drain and Mindblasted: Fried Brain triggered the summoning of the buff-possessing entity and that also gives its possessor the additional elements Dream, Evil, and Hunger and gives its possessor +150,000 to all stats, Max 1 summoned

This spell sends forth an airy blast of heated dark thoughts, dripping with the caster's malice and desire to corrupt and consume, infecting the target's brain as all thoughts - both physically-generated and more numinous in nature - are materialized, boiled, and turned into a tumescent, sulfurous soup that bubbles and pops as it erodes proper thought and replaces it with an aching, unsatisfiable, cruel hunger. From this bubbling mess of corporealized thought is birthed an abomination of hungering, corrupted notions and wretchedly expanded potential - a horror birthed from an evil dream, seeking to consume the mind that spawned it and then proceed to enact its dark desires upon an unprepared reality.

The spell's unequipped physical form is a quivering, tumorous egg that laughs in the back of the minds of those nearby and causes unshielded beings within a multi-mile radius of its aberrant radiation to begin drooling red and black trails of light, seeking to feast upon the brains of their former fellows - with the minds of the kindly and innocent tasting the best of all.

Suitability: 2/5 (S'TECHNICALLY A COOKING SPELL BUT NOT REALLY, AND I THINK THE DRAGONLAD IS SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD COOK)
Usability: 3/5 (STEEP HP COST T' COOK THAT FOUL OMELET. MAYBE Y'COULD FRY SOME SUMMONS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN I GUESS)
Potency: 3/5 (GOOD AMOUNT OF MIND DAMAGE, HELD BACK BY IT NEED'N TO HIT TWO STATUS EFFECTS. MOST PEOPLE PACK IMMUNITIES TO THAT STUFF.)
Utility: 3/5 (DAMAGE, STAT DAMAGE, AND A POTENTIAL BUFF BODY T'HELP IN A FIGHT.)

Kit for Volatilis:

18 Fortified Bunker + 5 Adaptive Miracle Matter + 12 Majesty Core + Warded Tome + Mobile Alabaster Bastion-Engine of Ancient Days + Global Shielding System + Panopticum Shield + Extensive Notes on Spell Design + Insta-Deployable City-Protecting Force Dome + Wide Panopticum Shield + Total Abjurant Strength-Shielding + Total Abjurant Constitution-Shielding + Total Abjurant Agility-Shielding + Total Abjurant Mind-Shielding + Total Abjurant Spirit-Shielding + Twin Disruption-Stopping Mageshield + Hope Crystal- = Establish Global Abjurant Hypershielding System (Expert Protection Magic Attunement)

Establish Global Abjurant Hypershielding System- (Spell, Abjuration, Magic & Technology & Hope, 5,000,000 MP, 500,000,000 Gold) Caster obtains a non-stacking buff that cannot be removed or transferred by sources below Level 80 without its possessor's permission that gives its possessor's allies +500,000 Defense, +15% Base Element Resistance, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against STR Damage, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against AGI Damage, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against CON Damage, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against MIN Damage, and +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against SPI Damage, with these bonuses being doubled (with the doubling being uncapped against sources below Level 80) if it is either for the benefit of an allied entity that possesses a Constant Effect named 'Supermassive' or 'Hypermassive' or if it is against an attack that could target 30,000 or more targets, Caster must be Level 40 or greater and must possess the ability 'Expert Abjuration Attunement'

This spell establishes a massive shield - typically of continental or planetary size - though a skilled caster can tweak it to be smaller, that crackles with lines of defensive power, shielding against superweapons and nation-destroying attacks. The shield is able to concentrate greater defensive power against wider-scale attacks, redoubling its power against wide-area destructive forces.

The spell's unequipped form is a massive, wedge-shaped plate, akin to a slowly sloping mountain, stretching 30,000 miles on its longest side. Within its entire frame runs microscopic magical circuitry, elaborated with billions of different protective symbols arrayed in complex patterns.

Suitability: 4/5 (TH' ADMIRAL DRIVES A WHOLE LITTLE ISLAND WORLD THERE. NEEDS SHIELDS. FEELS LIKE IT FITS.)
Usability: 1/5 (EXPERT ABJURATION MAKES IT A NEAT PAPERWEIGHT FOR NEARLY EVERYONE BUT THE PERSON WHO MADE IT)
Potency: 4/5 (HALF A MILL IN DEFENSE IN AN UNREMOVABLE BUFF, WHEW)
Utility: 3/5 (TH' DEFENSE AGAINST STAT DAMAGE IS VERY NICE T'SEE)

Celeria for Nira:

Horse-Nira's Blood + Horse Spirits + The Water, The Balm + Dragon Flagon + Horse Mug + 2 Cosmic Embryo + 24 Potency = Cosmic Rebirth of the Pacifistic Horse-Self (Understanding of Mercy)

Cosmic Rebirth of the Pacifistic Horse-Self- (Spell, Biomancy, Blood & Time & Life & Astral & Hax, Poison: Drunk, 222,222,222 Gold) Target willing entity obtains a non-stacking buff that makes its possessor count as a summon of the caster (if not targeting the caster), that makes it count as a summon with no summoner (if targeting the caster), that provides +2 to all base stats (with this bonus increased to +3 if its possessor's name includes 'Nira' or 'Tolva'), that gives its possessor the additional subtype Animal, that appends 'HORSE ' to the front of its possessor's name, and that makes its possessor unable to perform offensive actions

Fueled by pure alcohol, this spell converts a willing target into a cosmic embryo, floating within a bubble of amniotic astral fluids, reshaping itself, developing in fractions of a second, then birthing itself from its sack in a downpour of starry light and cosmic waters. The newly-reborn self, no longer a mere mortal, has been given the essence of a HORSE - granting it unparalleled potency, with the resultant bodily form becoming a beauteous abomination, riding upon many horse legs that extend from the torso or preexisting legs, with hose heads (some with the reborn one's original face melded with the horse faces) extending from body, neck, and back, glorious manes blowing in a phantom breeze that lifts only them. Muscles surge, the brain swells, and the spirit shines with a powerful light, all developed and polished through the lens of HORSE FORCE. Such power, great and terrible that it is, comes with mandatory safeguards - to prevent the newly-empowered HORSE-BEING from dominating all it comes across, its mind and spirit are fettered such that they cannot even conceive of enacting violence upon another being.

Its unequipped physical form is a double-sized wine bottle containing a fetal horse whose eyes shine with the light of unborn stars.

Suitability: 2/5 (WHEN I THINK O' NIRA, I DON'T THINK HORSES OR BIOMANCIES, BUT IT DOES CALL HER OUT BY NAME)
Usability: 4/5 (NO RESTRICTIONS IN USE, DOCKIN' A POINT FOR WHEN YOU'D ACTUALLY USE IT. AN' NO MANA COST?)
Potency: 3/5 (I'D GIVE BEING HORSE EINARR A TRY. THE BONUSES TO THE BASE STATS ARE DECENT THOUGH.)
Utility: 1/5 (Y'LOSE UTILITY, TECHNICALLY.)

Tolva for Kit:

24 Crown of the Absolute Emperor + 24 Contained Thermonuclear Sundroplet + 12 Godcrown Steel + 12 Titanthrone Ivory + 12 Crystallized Archhymn + 12 Adept's Horizon-Breaking Formula + 12 Solar Alchemical Bomb + 12 Shield of the Sacrificed + 12 Global Defense + 400 Self-Sacrifice = Death-Scream of the All-Controlling Emperor (♢Smith of Perfection)

Death-Scream of the All-Controlling Emperor- (Spell, Leadership, Nobility & Glory & Law & Fire & Light & Atomic, 2,000,000 MP, 200,000,000 Gold) Caster is killed; All of caster's opponents are dealt 2,000,000 Flat Nobility & Glory & Law & Fire & Light & Atomic element Damage and have a 60% chance of being afflicted with an instance of Dominion that its inflictor still controls while dead; this spell may be cast once per thread that copies itself to any summon of an afflicted individual, Caster must be Level 60 or greater or must possess the ability 'Expert Leadership Attunement'

Gathering both any shred of remaining nobility held and all its caster's unfulfilled desires to conquer and dominate others, the caster howls with such force as to explore in a burst of noble light, shrieking in endless fury at unfulfilled ambitions. As the detonation occurs, the caster's will is transmuted into screaming light that lances across the world, implanting itself into every being and digging itself in, overriding the will of the world's residents so that the control the scorned conqueror sought in life is instead held in death, with the undying command propagating itself forward to enthrall uncounted future generations, binding the world in eternal slavery to one almighty will.

The spell's unequipped physical form is a petrified ruler's head, transmuted into gold, mouth eternally twisted into a raging, silent scream. The head still bears a glorious crown - that befitting the ruler of a world - which cannot be removed from its brow.

Suitability: 4/5 (GIVES YOUNG KITSTOPHER ANOTHER TACTIC FOR THE KNOT SPECIAL)
Usability: 1/5 (EXPERT LEADERSHIP NEEDED MEANS IT'S ANOTHER PAPERWEIGHT FOR THE TIME BEIN', AND THE MANA COST IS HIGH)
Potency: 4/5 (THE FLAT DAMAGE IS FINE I SUPPOSE BUT THAT 60% DOMINATE IS NO JOKE)
Utility: 1/5 (I THINK THAT KNOCKIN' YERSELF OUT OF THE RUNNING IS GENERALLY A BAD IDEA.)

Roulette Master for Rosaline:

Echidna Mask + 2 Beaked Thing's Mask (Greater) + 3 The Collected Regret of a Bad Relationship + Joshua the Vole's Drastically Bad Stageplays + 2 Reaver's Gloves = Mask of the Horrid Monster-Mother (Magewright)

Mask of the Horrid Monster-Mother- (Accessory, Mask, Life, 200,000,000 Gold) Wearer's summons' offensive actions each may gain a 30% chance of inflicting any one major negative status effect or a 15% chance of inflicting any two major negative status effects, Wearer must be Level 40 or greater

The mask, wrought from black stone quarried in a bygone age, takes the features of a crowned crone and merges them with a rat-abomination, creating a horrible amalgam of wrinkled woman and distorted beast. From its eyes and mouth slowly drips a wretched, viscous liquid, pitch black in color, that inflicts horrible maladies upon anything that contacts it. Imbuing the wearer with the power of a particularly-wretched mother of monsters, the wearer's summons drip with similar thick fluids, granting them the ability to afflict their targets with a great manner of lethal maladies and incurable curses.

Suitability: 4/5 (LOOK PEOPLE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT BUT THAT LADY'S BAD NEWS WITH A NICE FACE)
Usability: 5/5 (NO RESTRICTIONS BEYOND LEVEL)
Potency: 5/5 (30% MAJOR IS NOTHIN' TO SHAKE A STICK AT LAD)
Utility: 4/5 (NOT HAVIN' TO COMMIT TO A MAJOR BEFORE HAND IS POWERFUL STUFF)

Nira for Roy:

By Your Name You Are Bound, By This Power You Are Sealed, By My Hate You Will Suffer Forever + Parallel Mageblast: Re-Engineer Reality + 12 Steal Time + Yesterday, Today, And Tomorrow + 'Stop The Cockatoo: A Handbook' + Cast Into Torment = Black Temporal Sanction (Detachable Secondary Timestream)

Black Temporal Sanction- (Spell, Dark Magic, Time & Agony, 750,000 MP, 75,000,000 Gold) +75,000 Ranged Attack, +75,000 Magical Attack, Attacks incorporating this spell gain +70% To Hit, 200% inflicts Suffocation: No Future, 30% inflicts an instance of Vanished that afflicts its possessor with Cursed: Damned at the start of each round even while afflicted with Vanished, Caster must be Level 40 or greater

The spell blasts the target with the essence of a distorted, horrific timeline, trapping unlucky victims inside a quickly-detached timestream, in which they will be tormented, with death only leading them deeper into a nest of being reborn into one horrid timeline after another, each further from the worlds the cursed target originally came from. It can be cast as a traditional spell or fired from the eyes as a seeking double-laser.

Its physical unequipped form is black piece of parchment covered in glowing-red writing, signed by a dark time-judge to officially condemn an individual to endless lives in one timeline of torments after another, with the space for the condemned's name left blank.

Suitability: 5/5 (PERFECT FOR THE LAD, WHICH MEANS IT'S AWFUL)
Usability: 5/5 (NO RESTRICTIONS BEYOND LEVEL)
Potency: 4/5 (STATUS POWER AGAIN< BUT NOT A LOT OF ATTACK OOMPH)
Utility: 3/5 (VANISHED'S GOOD IN A FIGHT TO REDUCE TH' NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO ARE POKIN' AT YE)

Volatilis for Roulette Master:

12 The Greatest Pumpkin to Ever Grace the World + 12 Master's Silver + 7 Majesty Core + 7 Pocket-Dimension-Snaring Cage + 7 Protective Fetish Made from Worldsmelted Iron + 77 $$$ Cane + 77 Flame of Destruction + 777 Star of Ruin + Darkness Crystal = Darkness-Bombing Jack-O-Lantern World Escape (Manifold Domain-Based Realm Connectivity)

Darkness-Bombing Jack-O-Lantern World Escape- (Spell, Spatial Magic, Darkness & Spatial, 4,000,000 MP, 400,000,000 Gold) Target willing ally of caster is afflicted with an instance of Vanished that lasts 5 rounds that possesses an effect such that said instance of Vanished is removed from its possessor (including via expiration), its possessor deals (10 times the sum of its possessor's stats) Flat Darkness element Damage to up to 200,000,000,000 targets

The spell opens a dimensional breach, from which a massive jack-o-lantern pops forth, eating an ally of the caster. The jack-o-lantern is highly customizable and can have a number of facial expressions, be decorated (for instance with a witch hat, top-hat, or excessive amounts of candy), and can be a wide range of materials (such as silver, gold, mushroom-meat, or, again, candy). The jack-o-lantern, holding the target in a safe extradimensional refuge, then begins to travel a circuit between the planes, drawing power from the ensconced individual as it makes its dimensional loop. Once empowered, it re-breaches reality, unleashing a devastating barrage of darkness from between the planes (empowered by holiday fervor) and then safely depositing its passenger back onto the (possibly now enemy-free) battlefield before the final parts of its shell dissipate in a twinkling shower of ambient mana.

Its unequipped physical form is a silver jack-o-lantern with a winking face carved in its front.

Suitability: 5/5 (EXTREMELY ON THEME FOR THE PUMPKIN HIMSELF)
Usability: 4/5 (NO RESTRICTIONS! MANA COST IS A BIT HIGH THOUGH)
Potency: 5/5 (TEN TIMES STATS FEELS LIKE A GOODLY HIGH NUMBER)
Utility: 3/5 (GOOD TO CLEAR OUT OF A FIGHT WHEN THINGS GET HAIRY, BUT HARD TO EFFECT THINGS WHEN YE'RE VANISHED.)

Einarr tries to leave when the Janitor points to a smaller pile of unjudged gifts. The platoon groans and turns back around.

Dulcinea, for REMALIUS:

Shoes that Never Get Sand in Them + 12 Crate of Stolen Desert Supplies and Finery + Sand Diamond + Celestial's Voice = Shoes of the Dancer of Charity (Footsteps of Song)

Shoes of the Dancer of Charity- (Accessory, Shoes, Light & Earth, 17,600,000 Gold) +9,500 Defense, +17,600 AGI, +17,600 SPI, 45% Dodge, actions or attacks that are Treasure, Wealth, Glitz, Commerce, or Grandeur element cannot inflict Charm or its sub-status effects on wearer, Opponents below Level 60 that are not 5 or more Levels greater than wearer cannot give wearer Gold without wearer's permission, Wearer obtains +720 to all stats as a buff that stacks 10 times that lasts 20 rounds if wearer either trades an item to an ally or places a buff on an ally, to a max of once per round

The shoes take the form of ballet slippers, but in drab browns and earth oranges rather than the more typical bright pinks, brisk whites, or powder blues. They radiate an aura of virtue and, over time, cause areas they are left in to be places where acts of selfless charity are likely to take place. Greed-based demons, devils, and other lower-planar entities find them repellant, and they serve as a ward against greed-based powers and temptations. The shoes boost grace and travel speed, but do so with less potency if on a treasure hunt or seeking some manner of reward.

Suitability: 2/5 (I DON'T THINK THE LAD HAS FEET)
Usability: 4/5 (I THINK I CAN FIT 'EM ON MY FEET)
Potency: 2/5 (THEY'RE NOT KNOCKIN' MY SOCKS OFF, AHAHAHAHAHA)
Utility: 1/5 (THEY TAKE A LONG TIME TO GET WORKIN' RIGHT.)

Celestine for Ave:

Massive Plate + Gear Box of Fire and Ice + Mountain Range's Worth of Highly Enchanted Gems + Mountain Range's Worth of Highly Enchanted Obsidian = Twofold Clockwork Volcano Range (Masterpiece of Engineering)

Twofold Clockwork Volcano Range- (Item, Property, Earth & Technology & Fire & Ice, 97,500,000 Gold)

This is a small range of volcanic mountains, crafted such that their inner workings are made of clockwork machinery, complete with labyrinthine corridors to control rooms. From within the mountains, volcanic eruptions can be triggered, lava flows can be steered, and mountain heights can be adjusted. Should the right settings be toggled in four different places, the mountain range can either invert (so that it begins emitting lava down into some hollow-earth domain or planetary underworld), or can be adjusted so they produce cryogenic, flash-freezing fluids rather than magma.

Suitability: 2/5 (WHILE I KNOW THE LAD LOVES GRAND THINGS, I DON'T USUALLY THINK OF HIM AND VOLCANOS TOGETHER )
Usability: 1/5 (LAD LACKS A WAY TO USE PROPERTIES)
Potency: 1/5 (NOT SURE HOW TO JUDGE THIS PART. THE DESCRIPTION OF 'EM AND THE BRIEF TOUR I JUST HAD PSYCHICALLY WAS NEAT. MAYBE HE CAN DONATE IT TO S.A.I.N.T?)
Utility: 3/5 (I'LL BE GENEROUS BECAUSE THEY CAN BE ICE MOUNTAINS)

Ryuutarou, for the Silent One

Golden Apple + Primordial Clay + Applesauce that Makes Genitals Vanish + 12 Huge Container of Fire Mana Oil = Spicy Apple-Flavored Ramen of Astoundingly Alluring Agamogenesis (Knowledge of the Best Ramen Recipes of the Decade)

Spicy Apple-Flavored Ramen of Astoundingly Alluring Agamogenesis- (Consumable, Food, Life & Earth, 1 Charge, 65,000,000 Gold) User obtains a non-stacking buff that prevents other entities that are not Level 80 or greater from forcing its possessor to summon things, that gives its possessor 30% Fire Resistance and 30% Flux Resistance, that allows its possessor to summon up to 5 Animals, Oozes, Cthonians, Aquatics, or Reptiles below Level 60 that are not greater than its possessor's Level at the start of each round, that causes its possessor to have a 300% chance of inflicting Charm on all opponents whenever its possessor summons an entity, and that causes its possessor, whenever its possessor summons an entity, to give itself a non-stacking buff that lasts until the end of the round that gives its possessor Immunity to Wounded

This bowl of ramen has shimmering, golden apple slices floating in a sauce that almost gives the impression of being brown-sugar-and-cinnamon flavored, accompanied by nearly-transparent, soft-white-glowing noodles. The ramen's flavor is exceptional, though it is assuredly apple-flavored, with hints of the expected cinnamon and sugar, but also accompanied by an astoundingly potent level of spicy hotness. The ramen's consumer is rendered unable to reproduce sexually, instead becoming able to ripple its form, transmuting the outer layers of its body into a soup-like, oozy-mass from which varied monsters - often with a primitive, primordial tilt to their appearance - emerge, with this monster-budding emitting a supernaturally alluring aura that enraptures and enthralls the minds of observers, turning them into dedicated guardians devoted to preserving what they see as the new source of all life and beauty.

Suitability: 5/5 (IF IT'D BEEN ANYONE BUT SILENT LAD THIS WOULD BE LOWER)
Usability: 3/5 (FREE SUMMONS ARE NICE, BUT IT'S JUST THE ONE CHARGE)
Potency: 3/5 (THE LEVEL BAND IS LOW BUT THE REPEATABLE CHARM CHANCE IS NICE)
Utility: 3/5 (LOTS OF WEIRD UTILITY I'LL SAY THAT)

And so it came to pass that The Overdue Holiday Gifts Special ended in a rather-more-thematically-appropriate manner than was possibly intended. Still, the gifts have now been delivered, and are hopefully dazzling enough to distract their recipients from the terrible slight of being overlooked for the festive season!

And there's only one way to determine that.

It's time for THE TOTALS!


Kit's gift of EXTREME ABJURATION for Volatilis

Overall Suitability- 18
Overall Usability- 5
Overall Potency- 15
Overall Utility- 13

Grand Total- 51



Remalius' gift of Crimes Against Cookery for Ryuu

Overall Suitability- 7
Overall Usability- 9
Overall Potency- 13
Overall Utility- 9

Grand Total- 38



CELERY's gift of HORSE for Nira

Overall Suitability- 12
Overall Usability- 17
Overall Potency- 12
Overall Utility- 8

Grand Total- 49



Tolva's gift of Explosive Screaming for Kit

Overall Suitability- 8
Overall Usability- 12
Overall Potency- 15
Overall Utility- 11

Grand Total- 46



Rosaline's gift of Oceans of Treasure for Dulcinea

Overall Suitability- 14
Overall Usability- 8
Overall Potency- 16
Overall Utility- 18

Grand Total- 56



Volatilis' gift of THE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL for the Roulette Master

Overall Suitability- 19
Overall Usability- 17
Overall Potency- 14
Overall Utility- 16

Grand Total- 66



Nira's gift of Horrific Time Shenanigans for Roy

Overall Suitability- 20
Overall Usability- 20
Overall Potency- 16
Overall Utility- 17

Grand Total- 73



The Roulette Master's gift of Facetiming Your Mother for Rosaline

Overall Suitability- 9
Overall Usability- 19
Overall Potency- 20
Overall Utility- 19

Grand Total- 67



Silent One's gift of Slapping You So Hard You Elementally Realign for Vrishni

Overall Suitability- 18
Overall Usability- 12
Overall Potency- 9
Overall Utility- 12

Grand Total- 51



Roy's gift of Covert Ravioli for Tolva

Overall Suitability- 15
Overall Usability- 15
Overall Potency- 4
Overall Utility- 9

Grand Total- 43



Ave Selim's gift of Daylight Robbery for CELERY

Overall Suitability- 15
Overall Usability- 16
Overall Potency- 11
Overall Utility- 18

Grand Total- 60



Vrishni's gift of Overly Enthusiastic Timekeeping for Celestine

Overall Suitability- 17
Overall Usability- 8
Overall Potency- 18
Overall Utility- 13

Grand Total- 56



Dulcinea's gift of Charitable Shoes for Remalius

Overall Suitability- 9
Overall Usability- 19
Overall Potency- 9
Overall Utility- 9

Grand Total- 46



Celestine's gift of Excessively Overworked Science Volcano Dioramas for Ave

Overall Suitability- 5
Overall Usability- 7
Overall Potency- 12
Overall Utility- 10

Grand Total- 34



Ryuutarou's gift of THIS IS WHERE BABIES COME FROM for Silent One

Overall Suitability- 19
Overall Usability- 15
Overall Potency- 15
Overall Utility- 12

Grand Total- 61

Goodness, quite the showing. But where do they fall in the rankings? Let's take a look, and start handing out prizes!

The Perfect Gift Award

With a lofty Grand Total of 73, Nira's gift to Roy of Black Temporal Sanction stands head and shoulders above the rest!


The Wykki Stooger Commiseration Citation

Unfortunately on the other end of the scale, Celestine's very pretty and intricate but rather off-target gift of a Twofold Clockwork Volcano Range ends up scoring a total of 34 overall, making it the winner of this prestigious(?) award by way of consolation.


The 'You Shouldn't Have' Trophy Of Flawless Taste

With a total Suitability of 20 and maxing out the ratings by unanimous assent, Nira's Black Temporal Sanction gift wins this! Roy's a lucky man.


The 'You Really Shouldn't Have' Trophy Of Regrettably Flawed Taste

With a total Suitability of 5, it's Celestine again with her Twofold Clockwork Volcano Range. Oh dear. I hope Ave was gracious about receiving it, at least.


The Positively Proper Plug-And-Play Presentation

With a total Useability of 20, Nira once again sweeps the board with a maximum score with her Black Temporal Sanction! Surely, this will be the next hot-ticket item in the festive seasons to come.


The Flat-Pack-Manual-Hell Honour

With a total Useability of 5, narrowly avoiding the lowest-possible score, it's Kit with her Establish Global Abjurant Hypershielding System. Unfortunately, not everyone can be as good as she is at defensive magics.


The Puissant Present Prize

With a total Potency of 20, the Roulette Master's gift of the Mask of the Horrid Monster-Mother handily blows the competition away with 5s across the board! It's quite the showstopper of an item, even before you see what it looks like.


The Puny Present Payoff

With a total Potency of 4, Roy's unfortunately oomphless gift to Tolva of the Alien Beef-Cannoneer Ravioli Disguise sadly fails to hit the mark power-wise, scoring as low as it possibly could. Commiserations!


The Perfect Practicality Prize

With a total Utility of 19, it's the Roulette Master again with his creation of the Mask of the Horrid Monster-Mother for Rosaline. Such a useable, useful gift! Surely it'll be all the rage!


The Disadvantageous Donation Distinction

With a total Utility of 8, CELERY is the unfortunate winner of this prize for gifting Cosmic Rebirth of the Pacifistic Horse-Self to Nira. It's a rather specific spell, after all.

Summary

The gifts have been given and prizes presented. Here's what everyone's taking home (or leaving behind)!

Volatilis gets wrote: Establish Global Abjurant Hypershielding System- (Spell, Abjuration, Magic & Technology & Hope, 5,000,000 MP, 500,000,000 Gold) Caster obtains a non-stacking buff that cannot be removed or transferred by sources below Level 80 without its possessor's permission that gives its possessor's allies +500,000 Defense, +15% Base Element Resistance, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against STR Damage, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against AGI Damage, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against CON Damage, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against MIN Damage, and +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against SPI Damage, with these bonuses being doubled (with the doubling being uncapped against sources below Level 80) if it is either for the benefit of an allied entity that possesses a Constant Effect named 'Supermassive' or 'Hypermassive' or if it is against an attack that could target 30,000 or more targets, Caster must be Level 40 or greater and must possess the ability 'Expert Abjuration Attunement'

Volatilis loses wrote:5,740,800,000 Gold

Leviathan's Egg- (Item, Antiquity, Water & Life & Glory & Mystic, 400,000,000 Gold)
4 Mobile Ocean
Flowing Core
60 Waters at the World's Edge
7 Shield of the Golden Peace

777 Star of Ruin
Darkness Crystal

Ryuu gets wrote:Abominable Mindcooking- (Spell, Psychic Arts, Dream & Evil & Hunger, 15,000,000 HP from any combination of caster's allies (including caster), 150,000,000 Gold) +150,000 Magical Attack, 15,000 MIN Damage, 500% inflicts Stat Drain: MIN Drain, 200% inflicts Mindblasted: Fried Brain, If an attack involving this spell inflicts both Stat Drain: MIN Drain and Mindblasted: Fried Brain on at least one single target, this spell's caster may summon a Demon or Horror from the Enemy List that is below Level 80 that is below the triggering afflicted entity's Level and that is normally fightable for drops, giving it a non-stacking buff that doubles its possessor's Dodge against one chosen entity whose affliction with Stat Drain: MIN Drain and Mindblasted: Fried Brain triggered the summoning of the buff-possessing entity and that also gives its possessor the additional elements Dream, Evil, and Hunger and gives its possessor +150,000 to all stats, Max 1 summoned

Ryuu loses wrote: Applesauce that Makes Genitals Vanish- (Consumable, Food, Water & Physical, 1 Charge, 3,000,000 Gold) Target cannot summon if below Level 60

Nira gets wrote:Cosmic Rebirth of the Pacifistic Horse-Self- (Spell, Biomancy, Blood & Time & Life & Astral & Hax, Poison: Drunk, 222,222,222 Gold) Target willing entity obtains a non-stacking buff that makes its possessor count as a summon of the caster (if not targeting the caster), that makes it count as a summon with no summoner (if targeting the caster), that provides +2 to all base stats (with this bonus increased to +3 if its possessor's name includes 'Nira' or 'Tolva'), that gives its possessor the additional subtype Animal, that appends 'HORSE ' to the front of its possessor's name, and that makes its possessor unable to perform offensive actions

9 Custom Wonder-Gift- (Item, Ticket, Light & Progress & Wonder, 250,000,000 Gold) Can be opened at the Warehouse for a roll on the Custom Wonder-Gift table

9 Superior Wrapped-Up Wonder- (Item, Ticket, Wonder, 360,000,000 Gold) Can be opened at the Warehouse for a roll on the Superior Wrapped-Up Wonder table

7 Boxed Miracle- (Consuamble, Enchanted Item, Light & Glory & Wonder, 1 Charge, 200,000,000 Gold) User replicates the effect of an action performable by a deity below Level 98 that is below user's Level that is normally fightable for drops on the enemy list as though an instance of said entity were performing said action


Silver Suit of the Killer of the SPAAAAAAACE VAAAAAAAMPIIIIIIIRE- (Armor, Power Armor, Hope & Technology, 42,710,000 Gold) +42,600 Defense, +42,000 to all stats, +42,730 Melee Attack, +42,730 Ranged Attack, +1 Fame as a non-stacking bonus, Individuals below Level 60 may not deal wearer HP Drain, 30% Technology Resistance, 30% Darkness Resistance, 20% Ice Resistance, 5% Undead Resistance, 5% Alien Resistance, Combat Arts spells cast by wearer that provide a Melee Attack Bonus gain +42,200 additional Melee Attack, Combat Arts spells cast by wearer that provide a Ranged Attack Bonus gain +42,200 additional Ranged Attack, Buffs on wielder from Leadership spells that boost wielder's stats do so by an additional 1,000 points, to a max of 10 such buffs, with this effect not stacking across multiple copies of this item, Wierlder is Immune to Frozen, Suffocation, Voidstruck, and Poison: Irradiated from effects attached to Zones, Terrains, and Phantom Terrains by sources below Level 60, Wearer must be Level 20 or greater

25 Crown of the Absolute Emperor- (Accessory, Crown, Nobility & Glory & Law, 80,000,000 Gold) +80,000 Defense, +80,000 SPI, +800,000 MP as a non-stacking bonus, Wielder's allies gain +8,000 to all stats as a non-stacking bonus, 200% inflicts Charm, 30% inflicts Dominion, Wielder must be Level 20 or greater, Wielder must be either Level 40 or greater or must possess the ability 'Noble'

Prince Charming Battle-Action Figure- (Weapon, Other: Toy, Magic & Light & Hope & Earth, 60,000,000 Gold) +60,000 Magical Attack, +60,000 SPI, +600,000 MP as a non-stacking bonus, Wielder's 'Magical Attack' and 'Overdrive' actions may count as coming from a source that is a Level 59 Earth-element Fae named 'Prince Charming 'val Charmingston XXVIII' with 80 Fame if wielder is Level 40 or greater

2 Mimmorico- (Weapon, Other: Chaos Talon, Illusion, 50,000,000 Gold) This weapon, at the start of a thread, copies a non-unique weapon with a listed cost that is under 50,000,000 that is in stock in the Shop and becomes that weapon for the remainder of the thread

Sticky Object-Collecting Sphere (Massive-Potential-Size-Increase Variant)- (Weapon, Orb, Physical & Astral & Spatial, 185,000,000 Gold) +1 Melee Attack, Wielder's chances to steal items are increased by 35% against targets below Level 90 as a non-stacking effect, Whenever wielder conducts an attack that incorporates this item's Melee Attack bonus, it doubles, to a max of 1,850,000 points, as a buff that stacks 200 times, Wielder must be Level 20 or greater

Nira loses wrote:52,041,000 Gold

Draconics loses wrote: 12 Swords of Torment
Cast Into Torment
Cage of Torment
Sand Diamond
Monolith's Dampening Stone
'Stop The Cockatoo: A Handbook'- (Item, Antiquity, Air & Destruction, 7,500 Gold)

Kit gets wrote:Death-Scream of the All-Controlling Emperor- (Spell, Leadership, Nobility & Glory & Law & Fire & Light & Atomic, 2,000,000 MP, 200,000,000 Gold) Caster is killed; All of caster's opponents are dealt 2,000,000 Flat Nobility & Glory & Law & Fire & Light & Atomic element Damage and have a 60% chance of being afflicted with an instance of Dominion that its inflictor still controls while dead; this spell may be cast once per thread that copies itself to any summon of an afflicted individual, Caster must be Level 60 or greater or must possess the ability 'Expert Leadership Attunement'

Almost Vorpal, Somewhat Runic, Pebble-Attracting Yoyo of Sorta-Kinda Soul Sucking and Minor Healing that Can Sometimes Hold a Grudge- (Weapon, Other: Yoyo, Magic & Darkness & Earth, 7,000 Gold) +30 Melee Attack, +25 Magical Attack, +1% Critical, Heals 5 Damage on Hit, May Heal instead of doing damage at 1/5 damage, +1% to Hit against Earth element Elementals, allied Rune Magic summons gain +10 to all stats, +5 to all stats for each Rune equipped, Rune magic spells cost 5 less MP to cast, Deals 50 extra damage to targets that have damaged wielder within the last 5 turns

Man the Duck the Man the Duuk the Maan the Mann the Duhk- (Accessory, Other: Legionnaire, Air & Water & Basic, 30,000 Gold) Wielder gains the subtype Aerial if wielder does not possess the subtype Human, Wielder counts wielder possessing the subtype Aerial as wielder possessing the subtype Human, Wielder counts wielder possessing the subtype Human, excluding through possession coming from this item, as wielder possessing the subtype Human, Wielder treats effects that would cause wielder to gain the subtype Aerial as instead causing wielder to gain the subtype Human, Wielder treats effects that require wielder to have gain the subtype Aerial, but to not have possessed it without such an effect granting it, as requiring wielder to have lost the subtype Human due to one effect, but to have then gained it through another, If this item would cause wielder to gain the subtype Human, it instead removes Human from wielder's subtypes, provided wielder already possessed the subtype Human, causes wielder to gain the subtype Aerial, and then causes wielder to gain the subtype Human (unless wielder does not possess the subtype Aerial, in which case wielder gains the subtype Human but counts said subtype as being Aerial for purposes of whether or not wielder possesses it), Wielder counts as possessing an additional ally that is an Aerial and a Human, but does not count said ally for purposes of counting said only allies of wielder who are Human or only allies of wielder who are Aerials

Irritatingly Complex Heist- (Spell, Thief Arts, Darkness & Psychic, 20,000,000 Gold & 200,000 MP & 20,000 HP, 20,000,000 Gold) Caster chooses up to 5 willing allies and up to 3 allies who are different from the aforementioned 5 allies, Provided that at least one of these allies possesses a buff that comes from an Aquatic that is between Level 7 and Level 68, Caster chooses three of these allies (provided such allies exist, instead setting Spell Calculation Number 1 to 0 if such allies do not exist), and, if none of said allies are both greater than Level 90 and Chaos element, totals the number of letters in the names of each different Thief Arts spell equipped across said group of allies, noting this number as Spell Calculation Number 1; two of the allies chosen by this spell who were chosen in the first group of up to 5 willing allies who do not have their HP linked to any of the allies chosen in the second group of up to 3 allies but who were not chosen above in the group of three allies (provided such allies exist, instead setting Spell Calculation Number 2 to 0 if such allies do not exist) and subtracts the sum of the Melee Attack bonuses of their equipped items from the average of (the combined MIN bonuses of their equipped items) and (the combined AGI bonuses of their equipped items), noting said number as Spell Calculation Number 2 if none of the two allies chosen have a unique Antiquity carried and instead adding then number of Geomancy buffs that each individual in said group obtained after the most recent Divination buff each said individual respectively obtained to the number instead (provided that either none of said individuals obtained a Divination buff at any point in the thread or that each such individual possesses at least one Divination buff at the time of said checking, with the number that said number would be added to instead being set to '5' if neither such situation is the case), with said number then being noted as Spell Calculation Number 2; then up to 4 allies who were chosen as part of any previous choice made as part of this spell are selected, and, for each such ally whose name, subtype, and third-from-first-alphabetically 'Blessing' ability (should such an ability exist, instead substituting the entity's name a second time if it does not), contain more of the letter 'o' than the letter 'a' (taking all three together per entity but calculating each entity's separately), the number 57 is added to Spell Calculation Number 3; if the sum of Spell Calculation Number 1, Spell Calculation Number 2, and Spell Calculation Number 3 is at least 47,515, and no Humanoid & Aquatic or (Dragon & Golem with two or more Bardic Music spells equipped) has placed a Rune Magic debuff on caster, one of caster's summons, or one of caster's allies at any point in the thread (taking the alliance-status and summon-ownership-status of such entities across the entire thread, with 'yes' at any point counting said entity as such an entity for said calculation unless an entity of Level 85 or greater who is a Large Structure with the Constant Effect 'Supermassive' objects, in which case said answer becomes 'no' if at any point in said thread it would have been no) objects, caster, to a max of once per thread, obtains 5,000,000 temporary Gold that counts as coming from a source that is a Humanoid with three Hat weapons equipped that was afflicted with Petrified (three turns before this spell was cast, but not at the time said spell was cast)

Ultimate, Hyper 'Find the Missing Sock'- (Spell, Ritual Magic, Air & Energy, 457,325 MP, 70,000 Gold) Caster determines what entities in any battlespace in the same battle are carrying an item whose name includes 'Sock' that is not equipped, Caster determines what entities in any battlespace in the same battle are carrying an item whose name includes 'Sock' that is equipped, Caster determines what battlespaces in the same battle contain a non-carried, non-equipped item whose name includes 'Sock', This spell requires 37 consecutive actions to cast, requires that its caster possess the abilities 'Ritualist', 'Subspace Architect', 'Esoteric Wiseman', 'Golfer', and 'Chef', requires that three of its caster's allies are unique, have names that start with 'J', and are each wielding at least two armors whose name includes 'Shirt', and can only start being cast on the eighth round of battle against both a Dragon and an animal whose name includes 'Rat'

Warpped-Up Wonder Double-Pack- (Item, Ticket, Wonder, 72,000,000 Gold) Can be opened at the Warehouse for two rolls on the Wrapped-Up Wonder table

Kit loses wrote:Extensive Notes on Spell Design- (Item, Material, Magic, 18,000,000 Gold)
Hope Crystal- (Item, Material, Hope, 20,000 Gold)
Wide Panopticum Shield- (Weapon, Shield, Earth, 94,500,000 Gold) +45,500 Melee Attack, +96,700 Defense, +21,000 CON, 30% Physical Resistance, Wielder's allies gain 10% Base Element Resistance as a buff when wielder targets them with 'Defend' or 'Guard Back Rank' actions, 10% Base Element Resistance, Wearer may Reflect actions from sources of lower Level than wielder who are below Level 40, 25% Wearer may Reflect actions from non-unique sources of lower Level than wielder who are below Level 60, Wearer may scan the stats of any individual who conducts a hostile action against wearer, Wearer must be at least Level 40
Mobile Alabaster Bastion-Engine of Ancient Days- (Weapon, Other: Siege Weapon, Physical & Technology, 145,000,000 Gold) +125,000 Melee Attack, +145,000 Defense, +1,450,000 HP as a bonus that stacks 2 times, Wielder and wielder's allies may choose to count as having an additional Shield equipped, Wielder's 'Melee Attack' actions may use Mind as their Prime Attribute, 80% Resilience, 30% Physical Resistance, 30% Darkness Resistance, 30% Fire Resistance, Wielder gains the abilities 'Siegemaster', 'Paladin', and 'Defender', Wielder must be Level 40 or greater or (must be both Level 20 or greater and possess the abilities 'Apprentice Siege Weapon Training', 'Apprentice Shield Training', and 'Apprentice Holy Magic Attunement')
18 Fortified Bunker- (Item, Property, Magic & Earth, 620,000 Gold)
5 Adaptive Miracle Matter- (Item, Material, Void & Astral & Wonder & Faith & Progress, 500,000,000 Gold)
Insta-Deployable City-Protecting Force Dome- (Accessory, Upgrade, Technology & Energy, 85,000,000 Gold) Once per thread across all wielders of this copy of this item, when one of wielder's Large Structure allies is targeted with an attack, wielder may, before any hits of said attack targeting said ally are generated, give said ally a non-stacking buff that provides +85,000 Defense and +40% Resilience that lasts 26,000,000 rounds
Panopticum Shield- (Weapon, Shield, Earth, 94,500,000 Gold) +95,500 Melee Attack, +96,700 Defense, +21,000 CON, 30% Physical Resistance, 10% Base Element Resistance, Wearer may Reflect actions from sources of lower Level than wielder who are below Level 40, 25% Wearer may Reflect actions from non-unique sources of lower Level than wielder who are below Level 60, Wearer may scan the stats of any individual who conducts a hostile action against wearer, Wearer must be at least Level 40
12 Majesty Core- (Accessory, Other: Mystic Infusion, Glory & Wealth, 800,000,000 Gold) +800,000 to all stats, Wielder is Immune to individuals below Level 40, Wielder is Immune to debuffs and negative status effects from individuals below Level 60 if wielder is Level 60 or greater, Wielder becomes solely Glory & Wealth element, Wielder must be Level 40 or greater

Global Shielding System- (Accessory, Gadget, Technology & Warding, 200,000,000 Gold) +200,000 Defense, Wielder's allies obtain +20,000 Defense as a buff that stacks 5 times
Total Abjurant Strength-Shielding- (Spell, Abjuration, Magic, 100,000 MP, 100,000,000 Gold) Target ignores debuffs from sources below Level 60 that reduce target's Strength, Caster must be Level 20 or greater
Total Abjurant Agility-Shielding- (Spell, Abjuration, Magic, 100,000 MP, 100,000,000 Gold) Target ignores debuffs from sources below Level 60 that reduce target's Agility, Caster must be Level 20 or greater
Total Abjurant Constitution-Shielding- (Spell, Abjuration, Magic, 100,000 MP, 100,000,000 Gold) Target ignores debuffs from sources below Level 60 that reduce target's Constitution, Caster must be Level 20 or greater
Total Abjurant Mind-Shielding- (Spell, Abjuration, Magic, 100,000 MP, 100,000,000 Gold) Target ignores debuffs from sources below Level 60 that reduce target's Mind, Caster must be Level 20 or greater
Total Abjurant Spirit-Shielding- (Spell, Abjuration, Magic, 100,000 MP, 100,000,000 Gold) Target ignores debuffs from sources below Level 60 that reduce target's Spirit, Caster must be Level 20 or greater
Twin Disruption-Stopping Mageshield- (Spell, Abjuration, Magic, 80,000 MP, 8,000,000 Gold) Up to two chosen targets obtain a non-stacking buff that provides +8,000 Defense, prevents its possessor's actions from being prevented from occurring by preemptive counters from sources below Level 40, and gives its possessor 100% Overload Resistance, 100% Manablasted Resistance, and 100% Antimatter Resistance

Horse-Nira's Blood- (Accessory, Bioaugmentation, Blood & Time, 159,000,000 Gold) +159,000 AGI, +159,000 SPI, +15,900 to wielder's turn-order-determining stat sum for turn-order-determining purposes, Wielder gains the subtype Animal, This item maintains its effects while its wielder is in Steed transformations, Wielder must be Level 40 or greater or must have a name that includes 'Nira'
Dragon Flagon- (Accessory, Container, Fire & Water, 70,000 Gold) Wielder may have two additional Consumables equipped, provided that both are Drinks
Horse Spirits- (Consumable, Drink, Air & Hax, 1 Charge, 2,000,000 Gold) Inflicts Poison: Drunk, ignores the Poison and Poison: Drunk immunities (including possessing said two immunities through Immunity to Status Effects or Immunity to Minor Status Effects) of targets below Level 40, The status effect Poison: Drunk has no per-round auto-recovery chance when inflicted by this item, The status effect Poison: Drunk cannot be cured by sources below Level 40 when inflicted with this item
The Water, The Balm- (Accessory, Weapon Coating, Water & Glory, 70,000,000 Gold) Wielder is cured of all minor negative status effects and moderate negative status effects once per thread before an action at the time of its choosing
Horse Mug- (Accessory, Magic Iteam, Air & Earth, 500,000 Gold) Wielder gains Poison: Drunk Immunity and 40% inflicts Poison: Drunk, and 100,000 Gold
2 Cosmic Embryo- (Item, Material, Life & Astral & Time, 275,000,000 Gold)
24 Potency- (Item, Material, Energy & Physical, 6,000,000 Gold)

Dulcinea gets wrote:All the Treasures of the Sea- (Spell, Channeling, Water & Void & Treasure, 3,500,000 MP, 350,000,000 Gold) Caster obtains a non-stacking buff that causes its possessor to lose all equip slots and become unable to gain equip slots, at the beginning of each action, the buff's possessor may choose up to 2 weapons, 1 armor, 5 accessories, and 5 spells that ((are being wielded or carried by an entity that is in a Zone of Water within any battlespace in the same battle) or (are being wielded or carried by an entity that is in a Terrain or Phantom Terrain of Ocean or whose name includes 'Water', 'Ocean', 'Reef', 'Sargasso', 'Deep', or 'Sea', within any battlespace in the same battle)), (do not possess restrictions that would make them unequippable by the buff's possessor), (are not unique items that are being wielded by a unique opponent), (are not being wielded by an opponent 20 or more Levels greater than the buff's possessor), and (are worth under 3,500,000,000 Gold), and, until the buff's possessor changes those selections, the buff's possessor benefits as though wielding replicated instances of those items, Caster must be Level 40 or greater and must possess the ability 'Adept Channeling Attunement'

Dulcinea loses wrote:16,000 Gold

12 Crate of Stolen Desert Supplies and Finery- (Item, Material, Earth, 30,000 Gold)
Sand Diamond- (Item, Material, Earth, 36,000,000 Gold)
Celestial's Voice- (Weapon, Instrument, Light & Air, 5,000,000 Gold) +5,000 Magical Attack, +5,000 SPI, Wielder is Immune to SPI Damage from sources below Level 60, Celestial Magic, Divine Magic, and Bardic Music spells cost wielder 50,000 less MP to cast

Mountain Range's Worth of Highly Enchanted Gems- (Item, Material, Earth & Wealth, 90,000,000 Gold)
Mountain Range's Worth of Highly Enchanted Obsidian- (Item, Material, Earth & Fire & Darkness, 30,000,000 Gold)

Golden Apple- (Consumable, Food, Life, 1 Charge, 40,000,000 Gold) Target becomes Immune to sources below Level 40 and Regenerates 400,000 HP at the start of each round, does not stack
Primordial Clay- (Item, Material, Earth & Life, 15,000,000 Gold)
12 Huge Container of Fire Mana Oil- (Item, Material, Fire, 500,000 Gold)

400 Purity

Roulette Master gets wrote:Darkness-Bombing Jack-O-Lantern World Escape- (Spell, Other: Spatial Magic, Darkness & Spatial, 4,000,000 MP, 400,000,000 Gold) Target willing ally of caster is afflicted with an instance of Vanished that lasts 5 rounds that possesses an effect such that said instance of Vanished is removed from its possessor (including via expiration), its possessor deals (10 times the sum of its possessor's stats) Flat Darkness element Damage to up to 200,000,000,000 targets

3 Boxed Miracle- (Consuamble, Enchanted Item, Light & Glory & Wonder, 1 Charge, 200,000,000 Gold) User replicates the effect of an action performable by a deity below Level 98 that is below user's Level that is normally fightable for drops on the enemy list as though an instance of said entity were performing said action

4 Custom Wonder-Gift- (Item, Ticket, Light & Progress & Wonder, 250,000,000 Gold) Can be opened at the Warehouse for a roll on the Custom Wonder-Gift table

2 Superior Wrapped-Up Wonder- (Item, Ticket, Wonder, 360,000,000 Gold) Can be opened at the Warehouse for a roll on the Superior Wrapped-Up Wonder table


A Cannon Shield From A Reality Where Cannon Shields Are Better- (Weapon, Shield, Metal & Warding & War, 135,500,000 Gold) +135,000 Defense, +135,000 Ranged Attack, +100,000, 100% Resilience, 150% inflicts Fatigued: Stun

Blade of the Gold Leaf Throne's Champion- (Weapon, Sword, Glory & Wealth, 400,000,000 Gold) +400,000 Melee Attack, +400,000 Magical Attack, +400,000 STR, +400,000 SPI, Wielder ignores the Resistances, Immunities, Absorptions, and Reflections of individuals below Level 60 who are below wielder's Level, Wielder must be Level 40 or greater

Flames of Inferno- (Weapon, Force, Fire & Acid & Atomic & Law & Evil, 230,000,000 Gold) +230,000 Melee Attack, +230,000 Ranged Attack, +230,000 Magical Attack, 300% inflicts Poison: Irradiated and Hexed, 150% inflicts Burning and Dissolving, 30% inflicts Cursed and Smitten: Great Atrocity, Wielder must be Level 40 or greater

Bane Sovereign's Armor- (Armor, Heavy Armor, Darkness & Physical, 12,710,000 Gold) +12,600 Defense, +12,200 Defense against Darkness, 30% Physical Resistance, +12,730 Melee Attack, Wielder's Necromancy spells that provide a Melee Attack Bonus gain +12,200 additional Melee Attack, Buffs on wielder from Necromancy spells that boost wielder's stats do so by an additional 600 points, to a max of 10 such buffs, with this effect not stacking across multiple copies of this item, Wielder gains +1,200 Defense against CON Damage

Crafter of Discord's Strings- (Weapon, Other: Puppet Strings, Darkness & Psychic, 4,000,000 Gold) +4,111 Magical Attack, +2,900 MIN, +2,900 SPI, 30% inflicts Charm. +400 to the stats of all of wielder's foes who are afflicted with Charm that have wielder as the source of said Charm infliction as an optional debuff (determined by wielder whether it is inflicted, which counts as a buff if inflicted on an ally of wielder) that goes away when wielder ceases to be afflicting said target with Charm, This item may be equipped as a Weaponx2 to gain an additional +5,000 Magical Attack, +3,800 MIN, +3,200 SPI, and increase the debuff to provide a bonus of an additional +300 points to all stats

Heart of the First Fire- (Weapon, Soul, Fire, 60,000,000 Gold) +60,000 Magical Attack, Wielder ignores the the Fire Immunity, Resistance, Reflection, and Absorption of individuals below Level 60, Wielder must be Level 20 or greater

Roulette Master loses wrote:Echidna Mask- (Accessory, Mask, Life, 85,000,000 Gold) +40,000 Defense, +80,000 CON, +80,000 SPI, Wearer's summons gain +4,500 to all stats as a non-stacking bonus, Wearer's summons may not be unsummoned by individuals below Level 80, Wearer must be Level 40 or greater
2 Beaked Thing's Mask (Greater)- (Item, Antiquity, Darkness, 20,000,000 Gold)
3 The Collected Regret of a Bad Relationship- (Item, Antiquity, Darkness & Psychic, 450,000 Gold)
Joshua the Vole's Drastically Bad Stageplays- (Spell, Chaos Magic, Void & Tacky & Toxin, 2,000,000 MP, 200,000,000 Gold) 15% inflicts Crippled, Cursed, Dominion, Instant Death, Insanity, Petrified, Plague, Smitten, Vanished, and Venom, 1 hit against 100,000,000, Caster must be Level 40 or greater and possess the ability 'Adept Anarchomancy Attunement'
2 Reaver's Gloves- (Accessory, Gloves, Darkness & Air, 8,800,000 Gold) +8,000 AGI, 151% To Hit, 30% Darkness Resistance, 15% Air Resistance, Wearer's Darkness-element, Physical-element, or Agony-element items that provide a Ranged Attack bonus provide an additional 700 points

Roy gets wrote:Black Temporal Sanction- (Spell, Dark Magic, Time & Agony, 750,000 MP, 75,000,000 Gold) +75,000 Ranged Attack, +75,000 Magical Attack, Attacks incorporating this spell gain +70% To Hit, 200% inflicts Suffocation: No Future, 30% inflicts and instance of Vanished that afflicts its possessor with Smitten: Damned at the start of each round even while afflicted with Vanished, Caster must be Level 40 or greater

Blessed Cannon-Shield- (Weapon, Shield, Physical, 2,195,000 Gold) +2,120 Defense, +2,040 Melee Attack, +2,099 Ranged Attack, 55% inflicts Fatigued: Stun, 5% Demon Resistance

Sad Trombone for the Missed Fight- (Weapon, Instrument, Water, 500,000 Gold) +50% inflicts Confusion: Depression

10 Unopened Office Holiday Giftbox- (Item, Ticket, Earth & Air, 900 Gold) Can be opened at the Warehouse for a roll on the Office Holiday Giftbox table

Warpped-Up Wonder Double-Pack- (Item, Ticket, Wonder, 72,000,000 Gold) Can be opened at the Warehouse for two rolls on the Wrapped-Up Wonder table

Roy loses wrote:Ravioli Disguise- (Armor, Disguise, Fire & Water, 80,000 Gold) +80 Defense, +80 Defense against Stat Damage, Wearer gains the subtype 'Food'

Distraction Meat- (Consumable, Food, Fire, 1 Charge, 20,000 Gold) Target individual below Level 20 has a 30% chance of automatically skipping its next action

Slap with Meat- (Spell, Combat Arts, Fire, 500 MP, 500,000 Gold) +500 Melee Attack, This action counts as involving a Food consumable that deals Damage

Ancient Fury- (Item, Material, Fire & Destruction & Fury, 150,000,000 Gold)

Unexpected Beef Cannon- (Weapon, Gun, Earth & Physical, 45,000 Gold) +45 Ranged Attack, +45 CON, +450 HP as a bonus that stacks 2 times, 50% inflicts Confusion: Surprised, Wielder's 'Ranged Attack' actions may gain 'Heals'

Rosaline gets wrote:Mask of the Horrid Monster-Mother- (Accessory, Mask, Life, 200,000,000 Gold) Wearer's summons' offensive actions each may gain a 30% chance of inflicting any one major negative status effect or a 15% chance of inflicting any two major negative status effects, Wearer must be Level 40 or greater

Rosaline loses wrote:24 Crown of the Absolute Emperor- (Accessory, Crown, Nobility & Glory & Law, 80,000,000 Gold) +80,000 Defense, +80,000 SPI, +800,000 MP as a non-stacking bonus, Wielder's allies gain +8,000 to all stats as a non-stacking bonus, 200% inflicts Charm, 30% inflicts Dominion, Wielder must be Level 20 or greater, Wielder must be either Level 40 or greater or must possess the ability 'Noble'

24 Contained Thermonuclear Sundroplet- (Weapon, Force, Fire & Light & Atomic, 80,000,000 Gold) +80,000 Melee Attack, +80,000 Ranged Attack, +80,000 Magical Attack, 80% inflicts Poison: Irradiated, 60% inflicts Burning, 60% inflicts Awestruck, Wielder must be Level 40 or greater

76 Orihalcum

7 Majesty Core

Vrishni gets wrote:Dynamic Jewel-Soul Essence-Realigning Palm Strike- (Spell, Unarmed Technique, Earth & Air & Fire & Water & Light & Darkness & Magic & Technology & Physical & Psychic & Electrical & Acid & Energy & Ice & Truth & Moon & Wood & Metal & Void, 5,000 HP or 5,000 MP, 5,000,000 Gold) +5,000 Melee Attack, Caster chooses two different base elements and two different stats, The target of any attack involving this spell acquires a non-stacking debuff that provides -5,000 to the first chosen stat, +5,000 to the second chosen stat, -50% Resistance to the first chosen base element, and +50% Resistance to the second chosen base element, Caster, if this action hits and applies a debuff to at least one target, obtains a non-stacking buff that provides +5,000 to the first chosen stat, -5,000 to the second chosen stat, +50% Resistance to the first chosen base element, and -50% Resistance to the second chosen base element

Vrisni loses wrote:Pocket Dimension: Clock of Elements- (Item, Property, Earth & Air & Fire & Water & Wood & Metal & Time, 80,000,000 Gold)
Wonder of the Ages: Construct Colossus- (Spell, Golomancy, Earth & Physical, 120,000 MP, 120,000,000 Gold) Summons 1 Colossus from the enemy list, Costs 100,000,000 Gold to cast, takes 15 actions to cast

Nole loses wrote:16 Purity

Tolva gets wrote:Alien Beef-Cannoneer Ravioli Disguise- (Armor, Disguise, Fury & Fire, 1,500,000 Gold) +1,500 Defense, +1,500 Ranged Attack, +150 Defense against Stat Damage, 80% inflicts Confusion: Surprise, 50% may inflict Impaired: Stun, 50% may inflict Burning, Wearer counts as having an additional Gun & Spray weapon equipped, Wearer gains the subtypes 'Food', 'Alien', and 'Abstract'

Tolva loses wrote:80 Ocean Lure

CELERY gets wrote:Treasure Pull- (Spell, Thief Arts, Physical & Magic & Commerce & Earth, X Gold, 50,000,000 Gold) Caster obtains a Temporary copy of an item that is in stock in the shop that is worth the amount of Gold spent to cast this spell, to a max of 50,000,000 Gold, this spell's name counts as including 'Wish'

Axe of Bloodfury- (Weapon, Axe, Fire, 3,500 Gold) +17 Melee Attack, Inflicts Confusion: Berserk on wielder at the beginning of each round

Battlestaff of HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK- (Weapon, Staff, Sonic & Chaos, 3,500,000 Gold) +3,500 Melee Attack, Wielder's 'Magical Attack' actions use wielder's Melee Attack bonus instead of wielder's Magical Attack bonus, Wielder may summon 1 Demented, Vehicle, or (entity whose name includes 'Goose') from the Enemy List that is below Level 20 at the start of each round, announcing the text 'HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK' as wielder does so, Wielder announces the text 'HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK' before and after each of wielder's actions

Improperly-Weaponized Keening Soul-Diamond- (Weapon, Stone, Darkness & Air & Magic, 30,000,000 Gold) +30,000 Magical Attack, 1% inflicts Instant Death, 30% inflicts Instant Death on wielder at the start of each round, Wielder must be Level 20 or greater

Massive Dragonheart that is Spraying Horrid Toxin Everywhere- (Weapon, Deadly Item, Life & Toxin & Agony, 20,000,000 Gold) +20,000 Ranged Attack, 100% inflicts Poison, 5% inflicts Venom, Wielder has a 5% chance of inflicting Venom on 5 randomly-determined individuals in the same battlespace at the start of each round unless wielder possesses the ability 'Adept Deadly Item Training'

Disappointing Box that Launches Landhawks to Non-Useful Locations- (Accessory, Container, Air & Earth, 300 Gold) Wielder may bring 3 unequipped items whose name includes 'Landhawk' into each thread; at the end of each round of battle, this item randomly removes one of its wielder's equipped or carried items whose name includes 'Landhawk' from the thread

Expensive Bucket That Refuses To Raise Stats- (Accessory, Helm, Water, 70,000,000 Gold) +0 to all stats, This item's text cannot be modified by sources below Level 100

Warpped-Up Wonder Double-Pack- (Item, Ticket, Wonder, 72,000,000 Gold) Can be opened at the Warehouse for two rolls on the Wrapped-Up Wonder table

Door to a Boiling Mini-Hell- (Consumable, Enchanted Item, Fire & Darkness, Unlimited Charges, 30,000,000 Gold) To a max of once per battle, user creates a battlespace that contains a terrain of Hellscape and a Zone of Fire & Darkness that has a non-stacking effect attached to it that has a 200% chance of inflicting Burning and Pain on each entity within the Zone, User and user's allies may then enter said battlespace so long as no entity of Level 60 or greater in any battlespace objects; Once this item has been used once in a battle, its effect changes so that its uses allows its user and its user's allies to enter said battlespace so long as no entity of Level 60 or greater in any battlespace objects or to leave said battlespace for any other battlespace so long as no entity of Level 40 or greater in any battlespace objects

'The Eels Are Embarrassed'- (Item, Antiquity, Water & Fire, 5,600 Gold)

AN ABSOLUTELY SHITTY ITEM THAT YOU REGRET OWNING SO FUCKING MUCH- (Item, Antiquity, Fury, -50,000,000 Gold)

Celestine gets wrote:Wonder of the Ages: Construct Elemental Clock-Colossus- (Spell, Golomancy, Earth & Physical, 120,000 MP, 120,000,000 Gold) Summons 1 Colossus from the enemy list that naturally has 'Elemental Clock-' at the beginning of its name, that is naturally additionally a Clockwork, that obtains a buff at the time of its creation that cannot be removed by sources below Level 80 that are below caster's Level that allows itself to become any combination of base elements at the start of each round, that gives its possessor 30% Resistance to any base element that it is, and that allows its possessor to add or remove any combination of base elements from any of its attacks or actions, Costs 120,000,000 Gold to cast, takes 15 actions to cast, Caster must be Level 40 or greater and must possess the ability 'Adept Golomancy Attunement' or the ability 'Adept Gearwright Knowledge'

Amazing Drillko (Doesn't Like You Like *That*!)- (Weapon, Spear, Atomic & Mystic & Glory & Destruction, 80,000,000 Gold) +160,000 Melee Attack, +160,000 Damage dealt, Wielder Pierces all Defense of entities below Level 80, If wielder is fighting no opponent 15 Levels or greater than wielder, this weapon has a 5% chance of preventing its wielder's actions from occurring, If wielder is fighting no opponent of greater Level and has, previously within the same thread, performed a Technique that did not require a Spear, Tool, or something with 'Drill' in its name to use, this chance is increased to 25%, This weapon may be targeted as an entity for the purposes of effects that inflict Charm, and, if it is afflicted with Charm by its wielder, loses its chance to make actions not work, This weapon additionally possesses the subtype Tool, Wielder must be Level 40 or greater

Corset of REALLY Tight Squeezes- (Armorx.5, Clothing, Physical, 5,000,000 Gold) +5,000 Defense, +5,000 AGI, Wearer may not be prevented from targeting entities in the back row by entities below Level 60 who are in the front row of any row-order formation, Wearer may choose to count as up to 900,000 fewer entities for row-order purposes (to a minimum of 1), Wearer is dealt 50,000 Flat Physical element Damage at the start of each round and has a 95% chance of being afflicted with Pain and Suffocation at the start of each round

'How to Get Those Godly Muscles!'- (Accessory, Tome, Physical & Light, 150,000 Gold) Wielder may spend 5 actions in a row to obtain a non-stacking buff that provides +150 STR

Leering Pencil- (Accessory, Trinket, Darkness & Wood, 500 Gold) 15% inflicts Confusion: Fear: Disconcerted

Box Full of Angry Snakes- (Consumable, Lethal Item, Earth & Acid, 1 Charge, 3,100 Gold) Deals 2,000 Flat Physical & Earth & Acid element damage, 15% inflicts Poison

2 Warpped-Up Wonder Double-Pack- (Item, Ticket, Wonder, 72,000,000 Gold) Can be opened at the Warehouse for two rolls on the Wrapped-Up Wonder table

Celas Costume- (Accessory, Container, Wood & Moon, 3,000,000 Gold) Wearer's Base STR becomes 5, Wearer's Base AGI becomes 2, Wearer's Base CON becomes 5, Wearer's Base MIN becomes 1, Wearer's Base SPI becomes 3, Wearer's name becomes 'Costume', Wearer counts as having a Grand Armor armor named 'Celas' equipped that is also an Aquatic

Swolen Car- (Accessory, Container, Flesh & Rot & Technology, 500,000 Gold) +500 AGI, +500 CON, Wielder counts as additionally possessing the subtype Vehicle, 100% inflicts Confusion: Nausea

A Nice, Piping Hot Cup Of Shut the Fuck Up- (Consumable, Drink, Fury, 1 Charge, 24,000,000 Gold) Deals 240,000 Flat Fire element Damage, 100% inflicts Impaired: Mute, Target, if below Level 60, obtains a non-stacking 50% chance of skipping each of its actions

Landhawk Decal- (Permanent Consumable: Modular Upgrade, Earth & Air, 1 Charge, 30,000 Gold) Gives target Armor the Modular Upgrade Enhancement 'Applied Landhawk Decal'

Formerly-Holy Water Someone Spit Out- (Item, Antiquity, Water, 16 Gold)

Pot with White Wings that Might Be Sorta Holy?- (Item, Antiquity, Light & Earth & Hope, 700 Gold)

Celestine loses wrote:80,000 Gold

Gear Box of Fire and Ice- (Accessory, Gadget, Fire & Ice, 35,000 Gold) Each of wielder's damage-dealing attack actions that is a Melee Attack, Magical Attack, or Ranged Attack deals an additional 1,000 damage that is either Fire element or Ice element, stacks 2 times as the same bonus but does not stack with separate elements selected

Remalius gets wrote:Shoes of the Dancer of Charity- (Accessory, Shoes, Light & Earth, 17,600,000 Gold) +9,500 Defense, +17,600 AGI, +17,600 SPI, 45% Dodge, actions or attacks that are Treasure, Wealth, Glitz, Commerce, or Grandeur element cannot inflict Charm or its sub-status effects on wearer, Opponents below Level 60 that are not 5 or more Levels greater than wearer cannot give wearer Gold without wearer's permission, Wearer obtains +720 to all stats as a buff that stacks 10 times that lasts 20 rounds if wearer either trades an item to an ally or places a buff on an ally, to a max of once per round

Remalius loses wrote:6 Unreality Leaves- (Item, Antiquity, Dream, 100,000,000 Gold)
Lesser Weaponized Dreamclothes- (Armor, Clothes, Dream, 15,000,000 Gold) +15,000 Defense, +15,000 Melee Attack, +15,000 Magical Attack, +15,000 Ranged Attack, Wielder's offensive actions may become solely any one base element, Wearer must be Dream element
Forky's Guide to Corrupting Reality through Masterful Cooking- (Accessory, Tome, Evil & Wonder & Hunger, 300,000,000 Gold) +300,000 MIN, +3,000,000 MP as a non-stacking bonus, whenever wielder creates or uses a Food consumable, to a max of 5 times per round, wielder may immediately gain an action that may only be used to perform a 'Cast a Spell' action to cast a Litigamancy, Dark Magic, or Culinary Arts spell
2 Bottled Dreamstuff- (Item, Material, Magic & Psychic, 5,500,000 Gold)
Codex of the Ancients- (Item, Crafting Equipment, Technology, 250,000,000 Gold) Is not consumed in combos unless specifically notes
Parallel Mageblast: Re-Engineer Reality- (Spell, Technomancy, Spatial & Time & Life & Destruction, 500,000 MP, 50,000,000 Gold) +50,000 Magical Attack, +50,000 Ranged Attack, May Heal, Caster may move up to 5 buffs or debuffs on target that come from sources below caster's Level that are below Level 80 onto other entities in target's battlespace who they could have initially been placed on, Caster must be Level 40 or greater

Ave gets wrote:Twofold Clockwork Volcano Range- (Item, Property, Earth & Technology & Fire & Ice, 97,500,000 Gold)

Ave loses wrote:60 Dragon's Hoarded Treasures- (Item, Antiquity, Physical & Magic & Earth, 870,000 Gold)

Silent One gets wrote:Spicy Apple-Flavored Ramen of Astoundingly Alluring Agamogenesis- (Consumable, Food, Life & Earth, 1 Charge, 65,000,000 Gold) User obtains a non-stacking buff that prevents other entities that are not Level 80 or greater from forcing its possessor to summon things, that gives its possessor 30% Fire Resistance and 30% Flux Resistance, that allows its possessor to summon up to 5 Animals, Oozes, Cthonians, Aquatics, or Reptiles below Level 60 that are not greater than its possessor's Level at the start of each round, that causes its possessor to have a 300% chance of inflicting Charm on all opponents whenever its possessor summons an entity, and that causes its possessor, whenever its possessor summons an entity, to give itself a non-stacking buff that lasts until the end of the round that gives its possessor Immunity to Wounded

Silent One loses wrote:600,000 Gold

Empowered Amethyst- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth & Darkness, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, 20% Darkness Resistance
Empowered Ruby- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth & Fire, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, 20% Fire Resistance
Empowered Sapphire- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth & Water, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, 20% Water Resistance
Empowered Emerald- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, 20% Earth Resistance
Empowered Diamond- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth & Light, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, 20% Light Resistance
Empowered Teralyte- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, +1,000 Defense
Empowered Topaz- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth & Electrical, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, 20% Electrical Resistance
Empowered Opal- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth & Air, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, 20% Air Resistance
Empowered Ametrine- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth & Psychic, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, 20% Psychic Resistance
Empowered Alexandrite- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth & Physical, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, 20% Physical Resistance
Empowered Zircon- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth & Magic, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, 20% Magic Resistance
Empowered Quartz- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth & Technology, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, 20% Technology Resistance
Empowered Iolite- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth & Ice, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, 20% Ice Resistance
Empowered Peridot- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth & Acid, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, 20% Acid Resistance
Empowered Carnelian- (Accessory, Jewel, Earth & Energy, 1,000,000 Gold) +1,000 to all stats, 20% Energy Resistance
Lesser Band of Harmonious Exchange- (Accessory, Wristwear, Earth & Air & Magical & Physical & Psychic, 5,000,000 Gold) Weilder may spend an action to swap the values of any two of wielder's stats, to a maximum of 10,000 points swapped, this effect counts as a buff that does not stack and cannot reduce its possessor's stats below 1

Caelum loses wrote: 19 Sand Diamond

Cael loses wrote:7 Flowing Core
77 Heart of the First Fire

The Doctor loses wrote:12 Godseed: Love
77 $$$ Cane

My Characters Donate wrote: Expensive Bucket That Refuses To Raise Stats- (Accessory, Helm, Water, 70,000,000 Gold) +0 to all stats, This item's text cannot be modified by sources below Level 100


40 Orihalcum- (Item, Material, Earth & Physical & Magic, 100,000,000 Gold)
480 Sand Diamond- (Item, Material, Earth, 36,000,000 Gold)

A Nice, Piping Hot Cup Of Shut the Fuck Up- (Consumable, Drink, Fury, 1 Charge, 24,000,000 Gold) Deals 240,000 Flat Fire element Damage, 100% inflicts Impaired: Mute, Target, if below Level 60, obtains a non-stacking 50% chance of skipping each of its actions

Box Full of Angry Snakes- (Consumable, Lethal Item, Earth & Acid, 1 Charge, 3,100 Gold) Deals 2,000 Flat Physical & Earth & Acid element damage, 15% inflicts Poison

50 Unopened Office Holiday Giftbox- (Item, Ticket, Earth & Air, 900 Gold) Can be opened at the Warehouse for a roll on the Office Holiday Giftbox table



Irritatingly Complex Heist- (Spell, Thief Arts, Darkness & Psychic, 20,000,000 Gold & 200,000 MP & 20,000 HP, 20,000,000 Gold) Caster chooses up to 5 willing allies and up to 3 allies who are different from the aforementioned 5 allies, Provided that at least one of these allies possesses a buff that comes from an Aquatic that is between Level 7 and Level 68, Caster chooses three of these allies (provided such allies exist, instead setting Spell Calculation Number 1 to 0 if such allies do not exist), and, if none of said allies are both greater than Level 90 and Chaos element, totals the number of letters in the names of each different Thief Arts spell equipped across said group of allies, noting this number as Spell Calculation Number 1; two of the allies chosen by this spell who were chosen in the first group of up to 5 willing allies who do not have their HP linked to any of the allies chosen in the second group of up to 3 allies but who were not chosen above in the group of three allies (provided such allies exist, instead setting Spell Calculation Number 2 to 0 if such allies do not exist) and subtracts the sum of the Melee Attack bonuses of their equipped items from the average of (the combined MIN bonuses of their equipped items) and (the combined AGI bonuses of their equipped items), noting said number as Spell Calculation Number 2 if none of the two allies chosen have a unique Antiquity carried and instead adding then number of Geomancy buffs that each individual in said group obtained after the most recent Divination buff each said individual respectively obtained to the number instead (provided that either none of said individuals obtained a Divination buff at any point in the thread or that each such individual possesses at least one Divination buff at the time of said checking, with the number that said number would be added to instead being set to '5' if neither such situation is the case), with said number then being noted as Spell Calculation Number 2; then up to 4 allies who were chosen as part of any previous choice made as part of this spell are selected, and, for each such ally whose name, subtype, and third-from-first-alphabetically 'Blessing' ability (should such an ability exist, instead substituting the entity's name a second time if it does not), contain more of the letter 'o' than the letter 'a' (taking all three together per entity but calculating each entity's separately), the number 57 is added to Spell Calculation Number 3; if the sum of Spell Calculation Number 1, Spell Calculation Number 2, and Spell Calculation Number 3 is at least 47,515, and no Humanoid & Aquatic or (Dragon & Golem with two or more Bardic Music spells equipped) has placed a Rune Magic debuff on caster, one of caster's summons, or one of caster's allies at any point in the thread (taking the alliance-status and summon-ownership-status of such entities across the entire thread, with 'yes' at any point counting said entity as such an entity for said calculation unless an entity of Level 85 or greater who is a Large Structure with the Constant Effect 'Supermassive' objects, in which case said answer becomes 'no' if at any point in said thread it would have been no) objects, caster, to a max of once per thread, obtains 5,000,000 temporary Gold that counts as coming from a source that is a Humanoid with three Hat weapons equipped that was afflicted with Petrified (three turns before this spell was cast, but not at the time said spell was cast)

Not-Dave's Characters Donate wrote:Leering Pencil- (Accessory, Trinket, Darkness & Wood, 500 Gold) 15% inflicts Confusion: Fear: Disconcerted

Swolen Car- (Accessory, Container, Flesh & Rot & Technology, 500,000 Gold) +500 AGI, +500 CON, Wielder counts as additionally possessing the subtype Vehicle, 100% inflicts Confusion: Nausea

Sad Trombone for the Missed Fight- (Weapon, Instrument, Water, 500,000 Gold) +50% inflicts Confusion: Depression

Kit's Characters Donate wrote:Silver Suit of the Killer of the SPAAAAAAACE VAAAAAAAMPIIIIIIIRE
25 Crown of the Absolute Emperor

Corset of REALLY Tight Squeezes
Amazing Drillko (Doesn't Like You Like That!)-
'How to Get Those Godly Muscles!'-

2 Mimmorico
Prince Charming Battle-Action Figure-

Formerly-Holy Water Someone Spit Out
Celas Costume
Landhawk Decal-

Pot with White Wings that Might Be Sorta Holy?

Sticky Object-Collecting Sphere (Massive-Potential-Size-Increase Variant)-

Some assembly required. And by 'some' it may mean 'all'. The gift with the lowest overall Usability score wins this.
Ultimate, Hyper 'Find the Missing Sock'- (Spell, Ritual Magic, Air & Energy, 457,325 MP, 70,000 Gold)
Almost Vorpal, Somewhat Runic, Pebble-Attracting Yoyo of Sorta-Kinda Soul Sucking and Minor Healing that Can Sometimes Hold a Grudge-
Man the Duck the Man the Duuk the Maan the Mann the Duhk

Bane Sovereign's Armor
Flames of Inferno
A Cannon Shield From A Reality Where Cannon Shields Are Better
Blade of the Gold Leaf Throne's Champion-

Blessed Cannon-Shield

Crafter of Discord's Strings-
Heart of the First Fire

Battlestaff of HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK-
Axe of Bloodfury
Massive Dragonheart that is Spraying Horrid Toxin Everywhere
AN ABSOLUTELY SHITTY ITEM THAT YOU REGRET OWNING SO FUCKING MUCH-
Door to a Boiling Mini-Hel
Disappointing Box that Launches Landhawks to Non-Useful Locations-
The Eels Are Embarrassed'
Improperly-Weaponized Keening Soul-Diamond

New Items

These need adding to the Shop!

Alien Beef-Cannoneer Ravioli Disguise- (Armor, Disguise, Fury & Fire, 1,500,000 Gold) +1,500 Defense, +1,500 Ranged Attack, +150 Defense against Stat Damage, 80% inflicts Confusion: Surprise, 50% may inflict Impaired: Stun, 50% may inflict Burning, Wearer counts as having an additional Gun & Spray weapon equipped, Wearer gains the subtypes 'Food', 'Alien', and 'Abstract'


Mask of the Horrid Monster-Mother- (Accessory, Mask, Life, 200,000,000 Gold) Wearer's summons' offensive actions each may gain a 30% chance of inflicting any one major negative status effect or a 15% chance of inflicting any two major negative status effects, Wearer must be Level 40 or greater

Shoes of the Dancer of Charity- (Accessory, Shoes, Light & Earth, 17,600,000 Gold) +9,500 Defense, +17,600 AGI, +17,600 SPI, 45% Dodge, actions or attacks that are Treasure, Wealth, Glitz, Commerce, or Grandeur element cannot inflict Charm or its sub-status effects on wearer, Opponents below Level 60 that are not 5 or more Levels greater than wearer cannot give wearer Gold without wearer's permission, Wearer obtains +720 to all stats as a buff that stacks 10 times that lasts 20 rounds if wearer either trades an item to an ally or places a buff on an ally, to a max of once per round


Spicy Apple-Flavored Ramen of Astoundingly Alluring Agamogenesis- (Consumable, Food, Life & Earth, 1 Charge, 65,000,000 Gold) User obtains a non-stacking buff that prevents other entities that are not Level 80 or greater from forcing its possessor to summon things, that gives its possessor 30% Fire Resistance and 30% Flux Resistance, that allows its possessor to summon up to 5 Animals, Oozes, Cthonians, Aquatics, or Reptiles below Level 60 that are not greater than its possessor's Level at the start of each round, that causes its possessor to have a 300% chance of inflicting Charm on all opponents whenever its possessor summons an entity, and that causes its possessor, whenever its possessor summons an entity, to give itself a non-stacking buff that lasts until the end of the round that gives its possessor Immunity to Wounded


Establish Global Abjurant Hypershielding System- (Spell, Abjuration, Magic & Technology & Hope, 5,000,000 MP, 500,000,000 Gold) Caster obtains a non-stacking buff that cannot be removed or transferred by sources below Level 80 without its possessor's permission that gives its possessor's allies +500,000 Defense, +15% Base Element Resistance, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against STR Damage, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against AGI Damage, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against CON Damage, +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against MIN Damage, and +50,000 conditionally effective Defense against SPI Damage, with these bonuses being doubled (with the doubling being uncapped against sources below Level 80) if it is either for the benefit of an allied entity that possesses a Constant Effect named 'Supermassive' or 'Hypermassive' or if it is against an attack that could target 30,000 or more targets, Caster must be Level 40 or greater and must possess the ability 'Expert Abjuration Attunement'

Cosmic Rebirth of the Pacifistic Horse-Self- (Spell, Biomancy, Blood & Time & Life & Astral & Hax, Poison: Drunk, 222,222,222 Gold) Target willing entity obtains a non-stacking buff that makes its possessor count as a summon of the caster (if not targeting the caster), that makes it count as a summon with no summoner (if targeting the caster), that provides +2 to all base stats (with this bonus increased to +3 if its possessor's name includes 'Nira' or 'Tolva'), that gives its possessor the additional subtype Animal, that appends 'HORSE ' to the front of its possessor's name, and that makes its possessor unable to perform offensive actions

All the Treasures of the Sea- (Spell, Channeling, Water & Void & Treasure, 3,500,000 MP, 350,000,000 Gold) Caster obtains a non-stacking buff that causes its possessor to lose all equip slots and become unable to gain equip slots, at the beginning of each action, the buff's possessor may choose up to 2 weapons, 1 armor, 5 accessories, and 5 spells that ((are being wielded or carried by an entity that is in a Zone of Water within any battlespace in the same battle) or (are being wielded or carried by an entity that is in a Terrain or Phantom Terrain of Ocean or whose name includes 'Water', 'Ocean', 'Reef', 'Sargasso', 'Deep', or 'Sea', within any battlespace in the same battle)), (do not possess restrictions that would make them unequippable by the buff's possessor), (are not unique items that are being wielded by a unique opponent), (are not being wielded by an opponent 20 or more Levels greater than the buff's possessor), and (are worth under 3,500,000,000 Gold), and, until the buff's possessor changes those selections, the buff's possessor benefits as though wielding replicated instances of those items, Caster must be Level 40 or greater and must possess the ability 'Adept Channeling Attunement'

Black Temporal Sanction- (Spell, Dark Magic, Time & Agony, 750,000 MP, 75,000,000 Gold) +75,000 Ranged Attack, +75,000 Magical Attack, Attacks incorporating this spell gain +70% To Hit, 200% inflicts Suffocation: No Future, 30% inflicts and instance of Vanished that afflicts its possessor with Cursed: Damned at the start of each round even while afflicted with Vanished, Caster must be Level 40 or greater

Wonder of the Ages: Construct Elemental Clock-Colossus- (Spell, Golomancy, Earth & Physical, 120,000 MP, 120,000,000 Gold) Summons 1 Colossus from the enemy list that naturally has 'Elemental Clock-' at the beginning of its name, that is naturally additionally a Clockwork, that obtains a buff at the time of its creation that cannot be removed by sources below Level 80 that are below caster's Level that allows itself to become any combination of base elements at the start of each round, that gives its possessor 30% Resistance to any base element that it is, and that allows its possessor to add or remove any combination of base elements from any of its attacks or actions, Costs 120,000,000 Gold to cast, takes 15 actions to cast, Caster must be Level 40 or greater and must possess the ability 'Adept Golomancy Attunement' or the ability 'Adept Gearwright Knowledge'

Death-Scream of the All-Controlling Emperor- (Spell, Leadership, Nobility & Glory & Law & Fire & Light & Atomic, 2,000,000 MP, 200,000,000 Gold) Caster is killed; All of caster's opponents are dealt 2,000,000 Flat Nobility & Glory & Law & Fire & Light & Atomic element Damage and have a 60% chance of being afflicted with an instance of Dominion that its inflictor still controls while dead; this spell may be cast once per thread that copies itself to any summon of an afflicted individual, Caster must be Level 60 or greater or must possess the ability 'Expert Leadership Attunement'

Abominable Mindcooking- (Spell, Psychic Arts, Dream & Evil & Hunger, 15,000,000 HP from any combination of caster's allies (including caster), 150,000,000 Gold) +150,000 Magical Attack, 15,000 MIN Damage, 500% inflicts Stat Drain: MIN Drain, 200% inflicts Mindblasted: Fried Brain, If an attack involving this spell inflicts both Stat Drain: MIN Drain and Mindblasted: Fried Brain on at least one single target, this spell's caster may summon a Demon or Horror from the Enemy List that is below Level 80 that is below the triggering afflicted entity's Level and that is normally fightable for drops, giving it a non-stacking buff that doubles its possessor's Dodge against one chosen entity whose affliction with Stat Drain: MIN Drain and Mindblasted: Fried Brain triggered the summoning of the buff-possessing entity and that also gives its possessor the additional elements Dream, Evil, and Hunger and gives its possessor +150,000 to all stats, Max 1 summoned

Treasure Pull- (Spell, Thief Arts, Physical & Magic & Commerce & Earth, X Gold, 50,000,000 Gold) Caster obtains a Temporary copy of an item that is in stock in the shop that is worth the amount of Gold spent to cast this spell, to a max of 50,000,000 Gold, this spell's name counts as including 'Wish'

Dynamic Jewel-Soul Essence-Realigning Palm Strike- (Spell, Unarmed Technique, Earth & Air & Fire & Water & Light & Darkness & Magic & Technology & Physical & Psychic & Electrical & Acid & Energy & Ice & Truth & Moon & Wood & Metal & Void, 5,000 HP or 5,000 MP, 5,000,000 Gold) +5,000 Melee Attack, Caster chooses two different base elements and two different stats, The target of any attack involving this spell acquires a non-stacking debuff that provides -5,000 to the first chosen stat, +5,000 to the second chosen stat, -50% Resistance to the first chosen base element, and +50% Resistance to the second chosen base element, Caster, if this action hits and applies a debuff to at least one target, obtains a non-stacking buff that provides +5,000 to the first chosen stat, -5,000 to the second chosen stat, +50% Resistance to the first chosen base element, and -50% Resistance to the second chosen base element

Darkness-Bombing Jack-O-Lantern World Escape- (Spell, Other: Spatial Magic, Darkness & Spatial, 4,000,000 MP, 400,000,000 Gold) Target willing ally of caster is afflicted with an instance of Vanished that lasts 5 rounds that possesses an effect such that said instance of Vanished is removed from its possessor (including via expiration), its possessor deals (10 times the sum of its possessor's stats) Flat Darkness element Damage to up to 200,000,000,000 targets


Twofold Clockwork Volcano Range- (Item, Property, Earth & Technology & Fire & Ice, 97,500,000 Gold)


New Status Effects

These need adding to the Rules!

Mindblasted: Fried Brain (Possessor's MIN is reduced by 50% of its non-status-effect-counting value, Possessor's turn-order-determining stat sum is halved for turn-order-determining purposes)

Einarr's review has caused me to notice the lack of an MP cost on Cosmic Rebirth of the Pacifistic Horse-Self. Please edit it to cost 2,000,000 MP.

Thread moved for updating!

SUDDEN REVERSAL

[18:25]Caelzeph: Note on the Pacifistic Self-Horse spell: It originally had the abstandard cost of Poison: Drunk (and specified it costing 'taking your drunkenness to cast' in the blurb)
[18:32]Caelzeph: Butterfly Containing Many Terrible Things loop fixed and updated.
[23:30]Gadigan: Oh
[23:30]Gadigan: Ah
[23:30]Gadigan: Please revert
[23:30]Gadigan: To the abstandard cost
[23:30]Gadigan: That's funnier!
[23:30]Gadigan: Thank you